doctormcmeekle said:

Paraphrased from http://www.realultimatepower.net/



The Ultimate Battle





Scene 1:

Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees Mr Miyagi and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But Mr Miyagi sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The Mr Miyagi is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. Mr Miyagi's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. Mr Miyagi looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.

END

-While writing this script, I head-butt my dog so hard that we both screamed.

lollyp0p said:

Whats that over there in your panty drawer???

Ace said:

No, I think one of them is Patrick Swayze's Dancercise DVD from 1992.

doctormcmeekle said:

Ace said:

Ace said:

don't encourage the village idiot

lollyp0p said:

Hey! That's no way to speak to Ace.

Nah. That frindge.

Nah. That frindge.

doctormcmeekle said:

you don't need to demonstrate your stupidity

we already know

lollyp0p said:

sinisterpentatonic said:

it must be straight face day on the org

You can't fuck a toothpick, buddy.

Maybe she should be holding a hoagie instead of a bass.

subhuman09 said:

(singing): "Subby's back in town!"

Ace said:

Nice to see you too, man.

Now get that woman an IV-she's gonna pass out or something!

And one thing about fucking toothpicks: they tend to be very tight. Too bad about the splinters, though.

Ace said:

It's a fire hazard!

You rub her legs together and you're gonna start a bonfire!

GOD, I want to fuck this girl. Since you shared that with me ace...

Ace said:

She's spankable!

subhuman09 said:

Don't worry: I intend to keep her legs very far apart.

Ace said:

That wishbone image isn't always a pretty one, man.

I've seen flamingos with more meat on them.

subhuman09 said:

In the words of Woody Allen, "The cock wants what it wants."