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How To Talk To A Literal... Since so few of the population at large are "Literals"--(taking things literally)--I thought I'd give some hints and advice on how to deal...er, I mean, communicate (  ) with our species so that large chunks of hair are not pulled from their roots... 
1) Literals don't do "between the lines"...don't try to figure out what a Literal is really trying to say or how they really feel..lol...if it isn't said, it isn't meant...and if it IS said, it IS meant. Words are everything with Literals. 2) Literals' default mode of discussion is "Debate"...so prepare for rebuttals, and lots of 'em..lol 3) Literals don't understand the phrase "Oh, I didn't really mean it that way"...to a Literal's mind, if you didn't mean it that way, you wouldn't have said it that way...lol. 4) Literals compartmentalize with expert ease...so feelings of hurt, anger and fear are often tucked away in a "box" in order to focus on the "facts". The good part is that you won't often get Literals acting irrationally due to their emotions...the bad part is that you won't often know exactly what emotions they're really feeling. 5) With Literals, there is no hair too small to split...lol  ...if you're not up to a 4 hour and 45 minute discussion on what the definition of "Is" is, grab some coffee and Tylenol. 
6) Literals don't care if you agree with them...but they DO care if you understand their point. Easiest way to defuse a Literal is to state their point back to them, and then say "Is that what you're saying?"...once they say "yes", the subject is dropped in their minds, mission accomplished..lol..Unless they feel you later contradicted yourself, which leads to: 7) Try your best to never contradict yourself if in "heated discussion" with a Literal...nothing drives them crazier. In a Literal's world, paradoxes don't exist...lol 
8) If you want to feel as if your emotions are being understood and acknowledged, just tell a Literal what it is you're feeling...and tell them literally..lol. It throws the Literal mind into a temporary state of paralysis because feelings and emotions can't be argued...your feelings are your feelings, and they are neither right or wrong. Just make sure not to blame them for your feelings, cuz more than likely you'll phrase it in a way that the Literal mind can find "factual" fault with. "I'm feeling really hurt right now" will be met with understanding..."I'm feeling really hurt because you don't like my mother" will get a lawyerly closing argument about how the Literal never said they hated your mother, and you will feel as if your emotions got swept under the rug. 9) Don't try to change the subject with a Literal...the topic of discussion, and the "debate", will simply continue on in their minds whether you want to talk about it or not, and they won't be able to function with you in any agreeable way for quite awhile. If you really DO need a "time out", let the Literal know that you do indeed want to continue talking about "it" (whatever "it" is)...but just not right now. They'll sulk, but they'll handle it because they'll tell themselves that you give the topic as much importance as they do. (ps: make sure that you do indeed bring the topic up for discussion again...if you don't, they'll never believe you again when you say "I promise we'll talk about this later"...they'll see it as a cop out, instead of a logical way of dealing with the emotions you're feeling) 10) Literals really do listen, and they remember everything...lol...it's a normal part of debating, to remember all the points said by the other person, and a Literal is a debater if nothing else (unfortunately).  Don't be surprised if something you said 2 weeks ago is brought up...not to "throw it back in your face", but in the Literal's mind, it's to better explain what they're thinking. It's like saying "I'm confused...because two weeks ago you said this..."...
This public service announcement is made possible by a lengthy, beautiful convo between three friends who never knew what hit 'em. 
"Figurative" edit... [Edited 4/7/05 18:23pm] | |
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I'm confused. | |
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damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: I'm confused.
Don't be...lol  | |
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Byron said: damosbeautifulgrlndaworld said: I'm confused.
Don't be...lol Can't help it I a blonde...I am in a constant state of confusion. | |
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This is the problem I find with some of America. Not much of a sense of irony, and an inability to take some things to the next step cognitively in an abstract way. Also known as failing to see the bigger picture.
Not saying all of America is like that of course and you can find it elsewhere, too. Just seems to be fairly common in that part of the world. . [Edited 4/7/05 2:52am] | |
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It's about me, isn't it? Anyway, I think most people have no idea of what they're saying. They're just making random sounds.  | |
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 and a  cuz you so rock Byron !! | |
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analbolique said: It's about me, isn't it? Anyway, I think most people have no idea of what they're saying. They're just making random sounds.
 To a certain degree, I think you're right.  | |
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Mach said:
and a cuz you so rock Byron !!*Smile* ...and a for you just cuz you're you. 
"can't freakin' spell" edit... [Edited 4/7/05 8:02am] | |
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Byron said: Since so few of the population at large are "Literals"--(taking things literally)--I thought I'd give some hints and advice on how to deal...er, I mean, communicate (
) with our species so that large chunks of hair are not pulled from their roots...
1) Literals don't do "between the lines"...don't try to figure out what a Literal is really trying to say or how they really feel..lol...if it isn't said, it isn't meant...and if it IS said, it IS meant. Words are everything with Literals. 2) Literals' default mode of discussion is "Debate"...so prepare for rebuttals, and lots of 'em..lol 3) Literals don't understand the phrase "Oh, I didn't really mean it that way"...to a Literal's mind, if you didn't mean it that way, you wouldn't have said it that way...lol. 4) Literals compartmentalize with expert ease...so feelings of hurt, anger and fear are often tucked away in a "box" in order to focus on the "facts". The good part is that you won't often get Literals acting irrationally due to their emotions...the bad part is that you won't often know exactly what emotions they're really feeling. 5) With Literals, there is no hair too small to split...lol ...if you're not up to a 45 minute discussion on what the definition of "Is" is, grab some coffee and Tylenol.
6) Literals don't care if you agree with them...but they DO care if you understand their point. Easiest way to defuse a Literal is to state their point back to them, and then say "Is that what you're saying?"...once they say "yes", the subject is dropped in their minds, mission accomplished..lol..Unless they feel you later contradicted yourself, which leads to: 7) Try your best to never contradict yourself if in "heated discussion" with a Literal...nothing drives them crazier. In a Literal's world, paradoxes don't exist...lol
8) If you want to feel as if your emotions are being understood and acknowledged, just tell a Literal what it is you're feeling...and tell them literally..lol. It throws the Literal mind into a temporary state of paralysis because feelings and emotions can't be argued...your feelings are your feelings, and they are neither right or wrong. Just make sure not to blame them for your feelings, cuz more than likely you'll phrase it in a way that the Literal mind can find "factual" fault with. "I'm feeling really hurt right now" will be met with understanding..."I'm feeling really hurt because you don't like my mother" will get a lawyerly closing argument about how the Literal never said they hated your mother, and you will feel as if your emotions got swept under the rug. 9) Don't try to change the subject with a Literal...the topic of discussion, and the "debate", will simply continue on in their minds whether you want to talk about it or not, and they won't be able to function with you in any agreeable way for quite awhile. If you really DO need a "time out", let the Literal know that you do indeed want to continue talking about "it" (whatever "it" is)...but just not right now. They'll sulk, but they'll handle it because they'll tell themselves that you give the topic as much importance as they do. (ps: make sure that you do indeed bring the topic up for discussion again...if you don't, they'll never believe you again when you say "I promise we'll talk about this later"...they'll see it as a cop out, instead of a logical way of dealing with the emotions you're feeling) 10) Literals really do listen, and they remember everything...lol...it's a normal part of debating, to remember all the points said by the other person, and a Literal is a debater if nothing else (unfortunately). Don't be surprised if something you said 2 weeks ago is brought up...not to "throw it back in your face", but in the Literal's mind, it's to better explain what they're thinking. It's like saying "I'm confused...because two weeks ago you said this..."...
This public service announcement is made possible by a lengthy, beautiful convo between three friends who never knew what hit 'em. Hell yeah!! Thank you for posting this. I am a COMPLETE LITERAL, and it's not fun "debating" me.  | |
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gemini13 said: Hell yeah!! Thank you for posting this. I am a COMPLETE LITERAL, and it's not fun "debating" me. lol... 
We tend to get bogged down in looking at the trees, though, while Figuratives (our opposites) tend to be able to look at the entire forrest. They see where they want to be and focus on that, as where we see what occurs on the way and focus on that...which often slows down the journey (ie: lengthens the "discussion"), which is frustrating when your focus is the destination...lol | |
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Literals make me crazy, but I'd rather be in a room full of literals than a room full of extroverts. Though if it were a room full of literal extroverts, I hope whoever was responsible for putting me in that room would be kind enough to equip me with a packet of razor blades and a copy of Final Exit.  | |
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Byron said: analbolique said: It's about me, isn't it? Anyway, I think most people have no idea of what they're saying. They're just making random sounds.
To a certain degree, I think you're right. I'm on to you! You mean the "figurative" majority!
 | |
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Anxiety said: Literals make me crazy, but I'd rather be in a room full of literals than a room full of extroverts. Though if it were a room full of literal extroverts, I hope whoever was responsible for putting me in that room would be kind enough to equip me with a packet of razor blades and a copy of Final Exit.
Hickery Dickery dock.... | |
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Byron said: Since so few of the population at large are "Literals"--(taking things literally)--I thought I'd give some hints and advice on how to deal...er, I mean, communicate (
) with our species so that large chunks of hair are not pulled from their roots...
1) Literals don't do "between the lines"...don't try to figure out what a Literal is really trying to say or how they really feel..lol...if it isn't said, it isn't meant...and if it IS said, it IS meant. Words are everything with Literals. 2) Literals' default mode of discussion is "Debate"...so prepare for rebuttals, and lots of 'em..lol 3) Literals don't understand the phrase "Oh, I didn't really mean it that way"...to a Literal's mind, if you didn't mean it that way, you wouldn't have said it that way...lol. 4) Literals compartmentalize with expert ease...so feelings of hurt, anger and fear are often tucked away in a "box" in order to focus on the "facts". The good part is that you won't often get Literals acting irrationally due to their emotions...the bad part is that you won't often know exactly what emotions they're really feeling. 5) With Literals, there is no hair too small to split...lol ...if you're not up to a 45 minute discussion on what the definition of "Is" is, grab some coffee and Tylenol.
6) Literals don't care if you agree with them...but they DO care if you understand their point. Easiest way to defuse a Literal is to state their point back to them, and then say "Is that what you're saying?"...once they say "yes", the subject is dropped in their minds, mission accomplished..lol..Unless they feel you later contradicted yourself, which leads to: 7) Try your best to never contradict yourself if in "heated discussion" with a Literal...nothing drives them crazier. In a Literal's world, paradoxes don't exist...lol
8) If you want to feel as if your emotions are being understood and acknowledged, just tell a Literal what it is you're feeling...and tell them literally..lol. It throws the Literal mind into a temporary state of paralysis because feelings and emotions can't be argued...your feelings are your feelings, and they are neither right or wrong. Just make sure not to blame them for your feelings, cuz more than likely you'll phrase it in a way that the Literal mind can find "factual" fault with. "I'm feeling really hurt right now" will be met with understanding..."I'm feeling really hurt because you don't like my mother" will get a lawyerly closing argument about how the Literal never said they hated your mother, and you will feel as if your emotions got swept under the rug. 9) Don't try to change the subject with a Literal...the topic of discussion, and the "debate", will simply continue on in their minds whether you want to talk about it or not, and they won't be able to function with you in any agreeable way for quite awhile. If you really DO need a "time out", let the Literal know that you do indeed want to continue talking about "it" (whatever "it" is)...but just not right now. They'll sulk, but they'll handle it because they'll tell themselves that you give the topic as much importance as they do. (ps: make sure that you do indeed bring the topic up for discussion again...if you don't, they'll never believe you again when you say "I promise we'll talk about this later"...they'll see it as a cop out, instead of a logical way of dealing with the emotions you're feeling) 10) Literals really do listen, and they remember everything...lol...it's a normal part of debating, to remember all the points said by the other person, and a Literal is a debater if nothing else (unfortunately). Don't be surprised if something you said 2 weeks ago is brought up...not to "throw it back in your face", but in the Literal's mind, it's to better explain what they're thinking. It's like saying "I'm confused...because two weeks ago you said this..."...
This public service announcement is made possible by a lengthy, beautiful convo between three friends who never knew what hit 'em. Bravo!!! Now do the figuratives
stance. ( As a figurative I have the abilty but couldn't be arsed to do so!) Although I get brownie points for coining the two types don't I? Oh and you need to error correct point 5) It should read 4 hours and 45 minutes! Running!!!!! | |
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 How funny! I'll have to read this later! In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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My best friend for the last 18 years is a freakin "literal" and you have no idea how many rounds we've gone over the stupidest shit. We argued once for hours over whether or not Taco Bell had green sauce! Believe me, over the years with other friends I saw lots of tears. He never made me cry but I sure as hell wanted slap him upside the head on more than one occassion and it's no exaggeration to say that we almost got in fist fights when younger and drunk.
The thing that drives me absolutely out of my mind nuts with literals, is even though they are hearing and taking things literally, more often they know exactly what you mean but feel the need to force you to say exactly what it is that you mean. And when it is all said and done with and you finally figure out how to say what you're saying the way they want you to say it, it turns out that the motherfuckers knew what you meant the whole time and were wearing those goddamned ruby red slippers and could have been in Kansas hours ago!
. [Edited 4/7/05 15:37pm] 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: My best friend for the last 18 years is a freakin "literal" and you have no idea how many rounds we've gone over the stupidest shit. We argued once for hours over whether or not Taco Bell had green sauce! Believe me, over the years with other friends I saw lots of tears. He never made me cry but I sure as hell wanted slap him upside the head on more than one occassion and it's no exaggeration to say that we almost got in fist fights when younger and drunk.
The thing that drives me absolutely out of my mind nuts with literals, is even though they are hearing and taking things literally, more often they know exactly what you mean but feel the need to force you to say exactly what it is that you mean. And when it is all said and done with and you finally figure out how to say what you're saying the way they want you to say it, it turns out that the motherfuckers knew what you meant the whole time and were wearing those goddamned ruby red slippers and could have been in Kansas hours ago!
. [Edited 4/7/05 15:37pm] You are a figurative! I hear you precisely. It is important to know to be understood is a key need for literals and if your face says you are agreeing on "sake" they won't let it drop. Also, as you both are saying the same thing in quite a different way, they don't see it until they see it. | |
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Sweeny79 said: How funny! I'll have to read this later! | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: My best friend for the last 18 years is a freakin "literal" and you have no idea how many rounds we've gone over the stupidest shit. We argued once for hours over whether or not Taco Bell had green sauce! Believe me, over the years with other friends I saw lots of tears. He never made me cry but I sure as hell wanted slap him upside the head on more than one occassion and it's no exaggeration to say that we almost got in fist fights when younger and drunk.
The thing that drives me absolutely out of my mind nuts with literals, is even though they are hearing and taking things literally, more often they know exactly what you mean but feel the need to force you to say exactly what it is that you mean. And when it is all said and done with and you finally figure out how to say what you're saying the way they want you to say it, it turns out that the motherfuckers knew what you meant the whole time and were wearing those goddamned ruby red slippers and could have been in Kansas hours ago!
. [Edited 4/7/05 15:37pm] You are a figurative! I hear you precisely. It is important to know to be understood is a key need for literals and if your face says you are agreeing on "sake" they won't let it drop. Also, as you both are saying the same thing in quite a different way, they don't see it until they see it. Oh no, do not agree for sake of ending the argument. That is "mocking" as my friend once put it. That was one time we almost for sure got in a fistfight. He thought I was agreeing with him to stop the argument, when I really was agreeing with him. He took that as patronage and mocking and I laughed because I couldn't believe how ridiculous he was being and the more I laughed the madder he got and the more incensere he thought I was being. The more I told him that I was truly serious, the more he thought I was lying to cut off the argument at the pass..... Oh sometimes I felt I was living the movie "One flew over the Cookoo's nest" 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: You are a figurative! I hear you precisely. It is important to know to be understood is a key need for literals and if your face says you are agreeing on "sake" they won't let it drop. Also, as you both are saying the same thing in quite a different way, they don't see it until they see it. Oh no, do not agree for sake of ending the argument. That is "mocking" as my friend once put it. That was one time we almost for sure got in a fistfight. He thought I was agreeing with him to stop the argument, when I really was agreeing with him. He took that as patronage and mocking and I laughed because I couldn't believe how ridiculous he was being and the more I laughed the madder he got and the more incensere he thought I was being. The more I told him that I was truly serious, the more he thought I was lying to cut off the argument at the pass..... Oh sometimes I felt I was living the movie "One flew over the Cookoo's nest"  I love you! | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: Bravo!!! Now do the figuratives
stance. ( As a figurative I have the abilty but couldn't be arsed to do so!) Although I get brownie points for coining the two types don't I? Oh and you need to error correct point 5) It should read 4 hours and 45 minutes! Running!!!!! Check my edit..lol | |
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Byron said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: Bravo!!! Now do the figuratives
stance. ( As a figurative I have the abilty but couldn't be arsed to do so!) Although I get brownie points for coining the two types don't I? Oh and you need to error correct point 5) It should read 4 hours and 45 minutes! Running!!!!! Check my edit..lol Well done mate.
Amazing how this figurative can wrap herself around an analytical conversation ay? | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: Byron said: Check my edit..lol Well done mate.
Amazing how this figurative can wrap herself around an analytical conversation ay? No, you are pretty much smack-dab in the middle, my dear... | |
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Byron said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: Well done mate.
Amazing how this figurative can wrap herself around an analytical conversation ay? No, you are pretty much smack-dab in the middle, my dear... I have always known I was complex! A damn contradiction! | |
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Byron said: gemini13 said: Hell yeah!! Thank you for posting this. I am a COMPLETE LITERAL, and it's not fun "debating" me. lol...
We tend to get bogged down in looking at the trees, though, while Figuratives (our opposites) tend to be able to look at the entire forrest. They see where they want to be and focus on that, as where we see what occurs on the way and focus on that...which often slows down the journey (ie: lengthens the "discussion"), which is frustrating when your focus is the destination...lol I guess it could be worse. I don't think I'd change a thing, although I would like to be a little less wearing and calculating.
Where did you find that information? | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: My best friend for the last 18 years is a freakin "literal" and you have no idea how many rounds we've gone over the stupidest shit. We argued once for hours over whether or not Taco Bell had green sauce! Believe me, over the years with other friends I saw lots of tears. He never made me cry but I sure as hell wanted slap him upside the head on more than one occassion and it's no exaggeration to say that we almost got in fist fights when younger and drunk.
The thing that drives me absolutely out of my mind nuts with literals, is even though they are hearing and taking things literally, more often they know exactly what you mean but feel the need to force you to say exactly what it is that you mean. And when it is all said and done with and you finally figure out how to say what you're saying the way they want you to say it, it turns out that the motherfuckers knew what you meant the whole time and were wearing those goddamned ruby red slippers and could have been in Kansas hours ago!
. [Edited 4/7/05 15:37pm] Yes yes yes, you need to SAY it!!! And don't you go mixing your words the wrong way, or we will catch you and corner you.
I've never heard of these descriptions. I just tripped out reading something that was EXACTLY like I am, and something that a lot of my associates "complain" about. tee hee | |
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gemini13 said: Byron said: lol...
We tend to get bogged down in looking at the trees, though, while Figuratives (our opposites) tend to be able to look at the entire forrest. They see where they want to be and focus on that, as where we see what occurs on the way and focus on that...which often slows down the journey (ie: lengthens the "discussion"), which is frustrating when your focus is the destination...lol I guess it could be worse. I don't think I'd change a thing, although I would like to be a little less wearing and calculating.
Where did you find that information? I just wrote it as I know it...I'm a "Literal" as well, so it was easy...lol I know what we think and how we think, and I'm sitting here laughing as you relate to it all..lol
Check out this thread as well...might remind you of some people who have had to put up with you before..lol
http://www.prince.org/msg/100/140604 | |
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gemini13 said: Byron said: lol...
We tend to get bogged down in looking at the trees, though, while Figuratives (our opposites) tend to be able to look at the entire forrest. They see where they want to be and focus on that, as where we see what occurs on the way and focus on that...which often slows down the journey (ie: lengthens the "discussion"), which is frustrating when your focus is the destination...lol I guess it could be worse. I don't think I'd change a thing, although I would like to be a little less wearing and calculating.
Where did you find that information? After growing up with A literal father and ending up in a multitude of literal relationships and pounding my head on the table screaming why...why...WHY.. I started to study personalities and people. I took all that and broke it into 2 major catagories I coined figurative and literal. Which define more ones communication style. In an effort to explain scenarios at the dinner we delved into it. It was a long great night. At the end the question I have about which sort of relationship to get into remained unanswered. I could refer you to a ton of writings and tests on the subject. The majority of it states the same things in a slightly different style. [Edited 4/8/05 9:28am] | |
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Byron said: gemini13 said: I guess it could be worse. I don't think I'd change a thing, although I would like to be a little less wearing and calculating.
Where did you find that information? I just wrote it as I know it...I'm a "Literal" as well, so it was easy...lol I know what we think and how we think, and I'm sitting here laughing as you relate to it all..lol
Check out this thread as well...might remind you of some people who have had to put up with you before..lol
http://www.prince.org/msg/100/140604 Hey you... Sweeny will love the wearing and calculating part. | |
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