Hermaphroditic Birth

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in, and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."

The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, Doctor? What's wrong???"

The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite."

The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite... what's that???"

"Well, it means your baby has the...er... features... of a male and a female."

The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh my god! You mean it has a penis... AND a brain?"

A 5 year-old boy walks in the bathroom and catches his dad putting on a condem.
He says, "Daddy what are you doing?" His father says, "I'm trying to catch a mouse." The little boy says, "What are you going to do after you catch it, fuck it?"

So these really two old ladies where driving in the car one night behind Lorena Bobbit just after she'd cut her husband's penis off.

Lorena knew she had to get rid of the evidence so she rolled her car window down and toss the penis out of the fast moving vehicle.

It flipped up in the air and bounced of the windshield of the car behind her, which just so happenned to be the car the little old laides where in.

"Bump. THUD!!!" and the penis bounced off onto the shoulder of the road.

So, finally the passenger looked over at the driver and says "did ya see the size of the dick on that mosquito?"

AsianBoi777 said:

NOT BAD.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I'd expect better from you.

Chico319 said:

But that's funny! It's been a long day. A man fell into an upholstry machine at work today. Luckily he's fully recovered.

Chico319 said:

i liked that one.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

I like that!

mrdespues said:

Shut it you!

JDINTERACTIVE said:

did u push him?

Chico319 said:

What do you think?!

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Best joke ever.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Cute!

What's [insert skin tone here], wrinkly, and hangs out ya trousers?









































Yo momma!