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PrintableNumber23 said: anniefannie said: Trying like Hell to impress the masses....
 Annie. I've been on this website for three years now. I'm drunk, so I'll even tell you that I may have even met my soulmate through it. But that's a long fucking story, mmm. Yet, after over 4000 posts I still have not merited an appreciation thread. My ego's not built that way, so it doesn't burn but what this proves to me is that, no, I'm not impressing anyone. Still, I look at some of the no-marks and witless bastards and bitches on this site who are 'popular' and I really do wonder why I still hang around. There's about four people who I really like and the rest are ants. Although I like ants. I you draw a chalk circle around an ant, it can;t get out. It dies there. I like drawing circles here. But, honestly nad truthfully, I'm one of the good guys. I rebel against mundanity and mediocrity. I am filled with love but it mispent on me. I was born in a pretty body whicyh can easily manipulete people wiothout a word being said. I have a low opinion of the human race. I crave a higher connection. I thirst. I fucking thirst like a diabetic Mars bar. I feel an edit coming on.  | |
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You are fibbing, I saw a post in the other forum this morning that was from another individual that said they honestly loved you....I do not know you well enough to post an appreciation thread about you, or I would. Beauty is fleeting, remember that. It fades or "Shimmers" as you put it. I find you interesting, that is all. I do not care one fiddle about the people on this website in general, other than they are my brothers and sisters. Popularity is not something I have ever strived for in my life, it isn't important to me. That in itself makes me popular. I just notice that you seem to try very hard at everything you do (org wise) and I find that interesting too. You are a go getter, that is all. We differ in the fact that my opinion on the human race is that of a patient mother, knowing that their child will screw up, waiting for it, then loving them anyway. "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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sinisterpentatonic said: Number23 said: Annie. I've been on this website for three years now. I'm drunk, so I'll even tell you that I may have even met my soulmate through it. But that's a long fucking story, mmm. Yet, after over 4000 posts I still have not merited an appreciation thread. My ego's not built that way, so it doesn't burn but what this proves to me is that, no, I'm not impressing anyone. Still, I look at some of the no-marks and witless bastards and bitches on this site who are 'popular' and I really do wonder why I still hang around. There's about four people who I really like and the rest are ants. Although I like ants. I you draw a chalk circle around an ant, it can;t get out. It dies there. I like drawing circles here. But, honestly nad truthfully, I'm one of the good guys. I rebel against mundanity and mediocrity. I am filled with love but it mispent on me. I was born in a pretty body whicyh can easily manipulete people wiothout a word being said. I have a low opinion of the human race. I crave a higher connection. I thirst. I fucking thirst like a diabetic Mars bar. I feel an edit coming on. No, this was organic inner scream. I grow natural prodice now, not modified to pull hoods over anyone. Purity is loveable. I want to be LOVEABLE!! WHY AM I A PORCUPINE??!!MUUUUUM!!!![Edited 4/7/05 15:11pm] | |
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I envy your drunken stuper by the way.....I cannot drink anymore.  "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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anniefannie said: I envy your drunken stuper by the way.....I cannot drink anymore.
I've anylised my drinking and drugg use and came to thn conclusion I want toi silence my muse. I want to be normal. | |
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Number23 said: anniefannie said: I envy your drunken stuper by the way.....I cannot drink anymore.
I've anylised my drinking and drugg use and came to thn conclusion I want toi silence my muse. I want to be normal. Good luck with normal, I have never made it there. I have always been the black sheep in everything, sometimes by choice.  "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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anniefannie said: Number23 said: I've anylised my drinking and drugg use and came to thn conclusion I want toi silence my muse. I want to be normal. Good luck with normal, I have never made it there. I have always been the black sheep in everything, sometimes by choice. I hope to have childen one day, like your four. I'm still young and reasonably healthy. It goes against everything sensible, but I want to be like Papa Walton, living on the mountain, with five boys and five girls, sharing knowing smiles with my wife across the dinner table. | |
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It is all up to you. You could certainly have those things. I met the man of my dreams 11 years ago when I was 19 (I am showing my age) and married him (eventually, for me it was like surrender) and had 2 girls and 2 boys. My life isn’t perfect, but children love unconditionally, it is their nature. They give me something to live for, by and something to be ABOUT. I hope your wishes come true. You seem to be a very nice person. "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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anniefannie said: It is all up to you. You could certainly have those things. I met the man of my dreams 11 years ago when I was 19 (I am showing my age) and married him (eventually, for me it was like surrender) and had 2 girls and 2 boys. My life isn’t perfect, but children love unconditionally, it is their nature. They give me something to live for, by and something to be ABOUT. I hope your wishes come true. You seem to be a very nice person.
I appreciate that but no, it won't happen for me. I'm a self-obsessed neurotic who thinks he knows better than everyone else. When he really doesn't . He knows very little, actually, about real life. Outside the wondow, looking in. It sounds pretentious as a pipe and gelled moustache but the only way I could ever truly be happy is to gain an audience for my art. No-one could ever truly love me for me. Attracted, aye, but I'm too introverted to give anything back and it always withers in the end. I prefer to write about life, not live it. Yuk. | |
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You really are drunk sweetie. Do you like art? So do I. I am a failure at it though I am afraid. I never did anything about it, and that sucks. Some people think I am very good too. At least you get to explore your passion..."Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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Number23 said: Saul Bellow?
Yeah, he's dead now. | |
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2the9s said: Number23 said: Saul Bellow?
Yeah, he's dead now. I know. But he was one of the few artists who just got better and better. He ate the life you live. | |
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anniefannie said: You really are drunk sweetie. Do you like art? So do I. I am a failure at it though I am afraid.
I never did anything about it, and that sucks. Some people think I am very good too. At least you get to explore your passion...I told you I was a self-obsessed neurotic. I can admire other people's art but always feel I'm capable of more. I suppose that arrogace is the fuck which gives birth to the muse. I suppose if I was bullied at school or if my mother died young I'd have more drive, but we all play the hand we have the best we can. What am I talking about again? Sorry. I'll apologise again tomorrow when I can really really ashamed at all this. | |
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What medium do you like to work in? Always know there is someone out there better than you. I got that wake up call in college. In high school, no one was better than me. My teacher said she was blessed to have me, that an art student like myself only comes along every 100 years or so, I believed her. Why not? I hadn't found anyone better either. Then I started art college. There were plenty of people more gifted than me, or their skills were more refined. I cried for weeks. "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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anniefannie said: What medium do you like to work in? Always know there is someone out there better than you. I got that wake up call in college. In high school, no one was better than me. My teacher said she was blessed to have me, that an art student like myself only comes along every 100 years or so, I believed her. Why not? I hadn't found anyone better either. Then I started art college. There were plenty of people more gifted than me, or their skills were more refined. I cried for weeks.
Awww. Hard as it maybe to believe, I'm a writer. But I understand painting. Only interesting people paint. Again, it's a glass onion artform. All surface, no feeling. You can be left exhilerated ( as I was at the Louvere) but, emotionally, it can't break or rebuild you. Most 'art' reminds me of when david Bowie sang 'Ain't there one Goddamn song that can made me break down and cry?' Ironically, that song did it for me. Just that lyric. But I'm not easily moved. i laigh at life. Humour is my duvet. The world is fuilled with lying, clueless arseholes. Sad, but true, to steal a phrase from James Hetfield. | |
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Not everyone is that way. Lying is strictly a no no in my book. If you heard it here, it is the truth good or bad. "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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anniefannie said: Not everyone is that way. Lying is strictly a no no in my book. If you heard it here, it is the truth good or bad.
Oh, everyone lies. Even a wee bit. But you do seem honest at your core and I really admoire that. It's been genuinely nice talking with you. But I'm just a lazy Scotsman with fields to dig up a field in the morning so I'll have to shut my eyes and think of sheep soon. G'night, annie. [Edited 4/7/05 16:02pm] | |
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Number23 said: anniefannie said: What medium do you like to work in? Always know there is someone out there better than you. I got that wake up call in college. In high school, no one was better than me. My teacher said she was blessed to have me, that an art student like myself only comes along every 100 years or so, I believed her. Why not? I hadn't found anyone better either. Then I started art college. There were plenty of people more gifted than me, or their skills were more refined. I cried for weeks.
Awww. Hard as it maybe to believe, I'm a writer. But I understand painting. Only interesting people paint. Again, it's a glass onion artform. All surface, no feeling. You can be left exhilerated ( as I was at the Louvere) but, emotionally, it can't break or rebuild you. Most 'art' reminds me of when david Bowie sang 'Ain't there one Goddamn song that can made me break down and cry?' Ironically, that song did it for me. Just that lyric. But I'm not easily moved. i laigh at life. Humour is my duvet. The world is fuilled with lying, clueless arseholes. Sad, but true, to steal a phrase from James Hetfield. Sounds like you really are lit up tonight. Don't feel so bad, there are good days and there are bad. Some of the ants here really apreciate you on this forum. but I don't do those apreciation threads. :OjitheFanKeybumpersticker: | |
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Number23 said: mrdespues said: octophrenic? you DO realise that schizophrenic itself DOESN'T mean split-personality, don't you?
that's right I'm here to ruin everyone's fun with the facts again! btw, "Ever think the more your inner eye focuses on the prize, the smaller it gets?" um....not exactly sure what you mean by that one.  You know exactly what I mean. The truth which glimmers and disappears when you try to focus. Walking subconcious, never trying to tune in. Surfing higer dimentional planes of existence with the Jinn and pookah. Watch colour fight the Light. You're an artist. You're in a relationship only with your muse. You're beyond human intetecting - you use it and dream it but don't ever live it. You are your muse. You know exactly what I mean, despues. yeah, you're right. I interact with other people in a somewhat disconnected way. It's actually easier to do than be connected. I connect myself where necessary, but I apply myself more to my own muse, because it's just my nature. Like a lot of artists I can be a little self-absorbed....but it's what comforts me. Or some bollocks. | |
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Number23 said: anniefannie said: Not everyone is that way. Lying is strictly a no no in my book. If you heard it here, it is the truth good or bad.
Oh, everyone lies. Even a wee bit. But you do seem honest at your core and I really admoire that. It's been genuinely nice talking with you. But I'm just a lazy Scotsman with fields to dig up a field in the morning so I'll have to shut my eyes and think of sheep soon. G'night, annie.
[Edited 4/7/05 16:02pm] I hope you slept well.....and today is a wonderful day for you filled with light and new possibilities "Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher | |
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