i've noticed that the older i've gotten the more i speak my mind and let people know what i want and don't want. i'm in a relationship that i'm not so happy in and well it's gotten to the point where i don't take anything off of anybody and i just want to be happy. what i'm sayin' is it a turnoff for men for women to be aggressive?

Well, from my experience men don't like it when a woman says, "Kiss my ass!" more than twice a day. Had to learn that one the hard way

Any man who is threatened or turned off because of who you are isn't good enough for you.

Definately not a turn off. However there IS a distinction between aggressive and assertive. I think your definition would
fall into the latter.

Women sometimes think they need to be aggressive to "combat" aggressive men.
Meanwhile they're both dealing with other issues all together, and either would come across as unappealing.

origmnd said:

WHAT?

CalhounSq said:

origmnd said:

'Twas a joke...

CalhounSq said:

..hey this is serious stuff here....affecting minds that need direction and hope in this place where people still think "relationships" exist

heybaby said:

Quite the opposite for me. I like women who speak their minds and let me know what they think. Otherwise I feel like our relationship is artificial because I don't know who my girlfriend truely is. Besides, I'm really turned on by aggressive women.

meow85 said:

Perfect!

There's some good responsibility dodging there. With this philosophy you can be all kinds of ways and any guy that is threatened or turned off is out the door!

What if 'who you are' isn't good enough for them? The problem is that aggression in this vague sense that you've put forward is unhelpful and only aggressive, whereas a woman who speaks her mind fully and articulately as doctamario and orignmnd are alluding to is in my mind definitely a good thing.

So for me an aggressive woman would be a turn-off. An assertive, articulate woman would be a turn-on.

CalhounSq said:

Well, aggression is different than being assertive. Aggression is negative and I don't like it around me either. But there is nothing wrong with you speaking your mind.


oh damn...origmnd said the same shit...ok..nevamind


NOTE To SELF:next time read the posts Rhondab

Rhondab said:

co-sign.

Aggression alone would be a turn-off.
[Edited 3/27/05 6:03am]

Not exactly the same topic, but very similar, is the whole 'girl power' and 'ladette' culture. I don't know if I'm alone in being completely turned off by the change I noticed in some women in the UK, that is before I moved to Thailand. 'Ladettes' basically drink like lads, swear profusely and are extremely aggressive. It seems like men trying to ask out a woman have no chance and are likely to get their efforts thrown back in their faces. For some reason this whole thing was seen as women being independent and more in control of their future, when really it's just about having a potty mouth and drinking too much.

Anyone in the UK, is that culture still around?

AsianBomb777 said:

U're a freak aren't ya AB?

Fauxie said:

U like it actually.

AsianBomb777 said:

Why the 'actually'?

Rhondab said:

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was gonna say too. Assertive, good. Aggressive, basically a turn-off. For both sexes.

well maybe i'm using the wrong word. i'm just at a point where when things bothered i didnn't say anything or i'd just let that person have there way, but now i'm the total opposite and i think its getting to be a shock for him.

heybaby said:

That's soooo unhealthy for a good relationship with a man.
You should push those feelings way way down inside your bowels, and keep a happy face on you--things will be much better for both of you that way.

I mean, how would U feel if a man started talking about "How he truly felt about you?". Creepy.

AsianBomb777 said:

heybaby said:

Well, of course it would be a shock since he didn't get to know the "real" you to begin with.

Which is why we have to always speak our minds on the important things. Sure, there are certain small things that may seem easier kept quiet to be polite. But in general, if you're agreeing just to be polite all the time or never speaking up, you lose your value as a person in the relationship. And any man who wants to date a dishrag isn't worth your time anyway.

CarrieMpls said:

i don't think i knew the real me back then, i'm 30 now and we've been together since i was 19 going on 20.

heybaby said:

And I didn't mean to imply you were behaving like a dishrag either, so I hope it didn't come out like that!

Then now is the time for him to grow with you. Relationships have to be able to grow as we do.

CarrieMpls said:

no i didn't take it like that i want to here everybody's opinion. i hope he does grow with me 'cause if he doesn't there are some decisions i'm gonna have to make that may be hard but i know i have to do.

heybaby said:

I honestly think that must be the toughest part of getting together with someone so young and staying through it for the long haul. We change SO MUCH as people from that age to now (I'll be 30 this year, too). Most folks don't really know who they are at 18-20, etc, even though we think we do.
Of course, through my 20's I'd reflect back and often think I've finally figured myself out only to look back a year later and still see how much I'm learning and changing. So I'm thinking now its a never-ending process. At least, I hope so. So its a matter of being able to grow together and work through the growing pains along the way.

I don't like aggresive women

They want you to clean the house

PANDURITO said:

you damn right!

heybaby said:

push those feelings deep deep down inside.
It will make things much simpler and satisfying in the relationship.

AsianBomb777 said:

i'm gonna shuv somethin' deep down alright!!