Guys and girls, i broke someones heart really bad due to a wicked past of mines. I changed i really did changed a long time ago but something that happened months ago came back and bit me in the @ss. I really really love this person and willing to marry this person and show the world including my son and all. I know i screwed up but when i gotten even closer to this person it just rip away from you right of the blue. How can i show this person they're all i want and need. I am out of suggestions. Also I am not a bum or anything. I work for a good company who would make us both financial secure for a while and i tell this person all the time especially the last month how much i love em and marry me u would not have to worry about anything in the future for at least a good 20 yrs. Friends of this person keep saying talk to him again and i won't talk to you but the thing is I know I am the only one who cares and love this person to death and would do anything for them. those friends of this person are glad and were jealous when we used to go out of town all the town and saw me do things for this person they only wish they could do. Please help or am i just psycho and just move on which i know i can't do?

You did what to who now?

Take your time and just be yourself.

There's nothing you can do. Maybe you screwed it up for good, maybe not. It's all up to the other person.

You can't make someone do anything, it's sometimes hard to accept but there reactions over this situation is more complex than you just saying sorry you have changed.

All i would advice you to do is live your life, be what you are now and if it is meant to be, and the person is left alone to think and come to terms with the situation maybe they will come round if you SHOW the change.

no there's really not much you can do but hope they give you another. my guy has been good ever since i gave him an ultimatum 5 years ago. he never cheated but i endured alot of verbal abuse and alcohalism till i got fed up. from that day he cleaned himself up,stopped drinking got a job and helps with the kids now. its been some years but i still haven't completely forgiven him but i'm trying 'cause i love him and my boys love their father. so its all up to the choice that person whose been wronged makes and if they can hack it without letting the past get in the way.

What did you do to break this other perons heart?? If there is no trust, there is no relationship.

2the9s said:

Bad things unfortunately.

NakedPreacherLady said:

yeah i guess, but it might be too late.

saintsation said:

You are not being "specific"

and how long have you guys been dating?

luv4u said:

almost 3 years now. Here's the story:

i will tell you but it is bad. I dated the nicest, loveliest person anyone can ever meet. When we met I knew i wanted them for more than a one night stand. So we dated right away and i tell you i was very happy but then i bought a camcorder and it was possessing me to do things like pretending i am doin porno with other people and videotaping my associates back then not friends doing it in my bed. My baby found out. I was getting high and she never knew that i did those things. We traveled everywhere together from New york to Los angeles. Well i begged and begged for her back and she let me back in. When she did that i didn't touch a single person other than her for months although she cheated on me once but i forgave her. Then last year 2004 during spring or summer right around Prince concerts in mpls i started getting urges again and started getting high and then one of my associates came back and i started doing porno with the cam again so i can feel how it is to be high. My girl didn't get high and i was scared to tell her so my suplplier i knew setted me up with his people and i did it. I recorded myself being stupid. Wel i disposed of tape and kept it hidden for at least 7 months of my crime until it resurfaced cause i was going to secretly record 2 of my associates doing it. But when one showed up my girl came back and i hid them in the closet and she walked in on them. She was very hurt and discovered the tape. I broked it cause i couldn't let her see it and lied and told her it was other people on it and not me. Well she forgave me and everything and was basically going to move in until she had the urge to fix the broken tape and saw everything that tooken place almost a year ago. This just took place 2 days ago. I luv this person to death until it hurts. i don't think it is fair to just drop everything based on something that took place almost 3 seasons ago back when i was doing a bad habit. Just Monday she told everybody online we together and now thats it. What do u think? I am changed for a long time even before February since football season started in august and up to now i only been with this person and now they're gone living in a house with an ex partner of theirs. She claim they don't do nothing but she is hot and anybody would try rather a friend or not. I can't work cause i alays felt like i was working for us and i do make a lot of money where i work too. Like i said, we traveled, concerts, movie every weekend, eat out all the time saw Prince 6 times in different cities, fly to Nfl football games to watch my favorite teams play. We did everything. What am I going to do without her. I can't replace her cause i love her too much. I never thought i wouldhave been that person to break up a happy home to try and do it high. What u are anyone suggest? We dated for 3 years now. I am changed and been changed for months now. What should i do, keep fighting for her, sit back and wait til she comes around, or move on which is something i am sure can't do right now? I know you all think I am mean and stupid. I take the criticism?

(1) That porno thing was not a good idea, keeping it a secret, there is a rule in any relationship - Never keep secrets. If you had a problem, you should have gone for counselling the both of you to deal with the porno and/or other concerns, or at least talked and hashed it out, and #2

(2) She has found someone else, move on as the relationship is obviously dead. The damage is done. Learn from your mistakes - its all part of your life lessons.

Let her go

she has been through enough. If you loved her and you knew how much she was burt initially and you still continued to do the very same things again it's not a good sign.

Personally it looks like the relationship is doomed, but saying that people recover from worse.

put yourself in her position

WHY should she trust you? you have done it before and promised you have changed and lapsed.

I'm sorry not what you probably wanted to hear, I was lied to by an ex user once. He told me he had never touched substances ever then told me when i was pregnant (trapped he refered it to) he had done certain drugs, once that trust was gone i had no respect for him, it was the lie that caused the downward spiral of our relationship and the lengths you went to to conceal your guilt shows how desperate you were to stay "no matter what" basically the me me me syndrom.

it depends on a lot of things how and IF u get that trust back at all, i personally with members of my fam, I couldn' care less if i never had their trust, and i don't think I do either. whatever

luv4u said:

I figured that out it was not good months ago. i should have destroyed tape instead of keeping it around.

2. Before the tape was viewed by her 2 days ago, she still came here every night and we do it when she was renting the basement from the ex person of hers. For 4 weeks i pleaded to her to give me one more chance and she did until she had that tape and fixed it a saw it. I have a date tomorrow with her to see ring 2 supposely with her. Now do u think its over between us or is she just taking time out for about 3 months and reconsider once she see how serious i am about her.

lollyp0p said:

No i already changed and was flying straight until this came back from 8, 9 months ago surface. I luv this person and they claim to still luv me too.

missmad said:

I care though. I been a changed person now for months. Not conceded or anything but i make a good husband for anybody out there. I take care of mines and thats what i want to do for this person.

I think u have done too much for this person to handle right now. It seems like all she wants to do is take a relationship break, re-think life, and then see what happens from there

paisleypark4 said:

Wow Paisley park4, u are such a breathe of fresh air, I wish i can keep breathing the same air u breathe with that reply.

saintsation said:

Love isn't always enough, Plus to say it doesn't always mean they are going to act on it....

believe me i know

I want someone to love and someone to love me.

Webhead said:

I wouldn't bother has this thread not taught you anything

p0pRocks said:

and if that was your attempt at saying on topic i must say you are


RUBBISH

p0pRocks said:

It was my attempt at being dreadfully honest.

Webhead said:

maybe you should have started a lets me honest thread then

just a thought

seeming as you were do lines about staying on topic and then broke it straight away

Webhead said:

Find me someone tooooo, looooove - Queen

like i said it all depends on the person, if u love her, talk 2 her, ask her how 2 make it up 2 u, do something that u think will prove that u did wrong. hope all goes well, love mad.

saintsation said: