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Jokes! Now if you know what Im like, I like jokes. It doesnt take much to make me giggle. Anyway, here is my joke du jour...
What happened to the crab when it went to the disco?! It pulled a muscle/mussel  | |
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Hi JD! 
A horse walks into bar and orders a drink..the bartender says.."why the long face?" And that is one of my good ones  | |
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What did one Tampon say to the other Tampon? NOTHING!! They where both stuck up cunts! | |
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AsianBoi777 said: What did one Tampon say to the other Tampon? NOTHING!! They where both stuck up cunts! 
OMG THAT IS SOOOOO FUNNAY!!! | |
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. [Edited 3/22/05 19:07pm] | |
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Lleena said: Hi JD!
A horse walks into bar and orders a drink..the bartender says.."why the long face?" And that is one of my good ones You know, I've heard that joke, only it exchanged Celine Dion for the horse. |
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. [Edited 3/22/05 19:08pm] | |
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Lleena said: Hi JD!
A horse walks into bar and orders a drink..the bartender says.."why the long face?" And that is one of my good ones Oh my gosh!..... Lleena! 
Howz'it our lass? 
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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Man walks into a bar with a crocodile and a chicken. "Black Rum & Coke", he requests the bartender. "A Mucky pint with a paper umbrella, please", orders the Croc! 
Bartender says, "Bloomin' 'eck! The croc can talk  Foo'kin' amazing!  "
The man replies, " What!  No, don't be silly. It's the CHICKEN. She's a ventriloquist "
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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alright fine.
3 pieces of string walk into a bar. 1 of the pieces of string walks up to the bartender and asks for a beer. the bartender sneers at him and says, "we don't serve pieces of string here". so he walks back to his friends, dejected, and tells them what happened. then the next piece of string walks up to the bar and asks for a beer. the bartender again sneers at this guy and says, "i told your friend, we don't serve your kind here". so he walks back and tells his friends what happened. so the third piece of string thinks for a minute, then gets all wrapped around himself and tangled up and starts pulling his ends out a bit, and finally he walks up to the bar and asks for a beer. the bartender says, "don't you get it? i told your friends we don't serve your kind here. aren't you a piece of string?" and he says, "no. i'm a frayed knot." |
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. [Edited 3/22/05 19:07pm] | |
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CarrieMpls said: alright fine.
3 pieces of string walk into a bar. 1 of the pieces of string walks up to the bartender and asks for a beer. the bartender sneers at him and says, "we don't serve pieces of string here". so he walks back to his friends, dejected, and tells them what happened. then the next piece of string walks up to the bar and asks for a beer. the bartender again sneers at this guy and says, "i told your friend, we don't serve your kind here". so he walks back and tells his friends what happened. so the third piece of string thinks for a minute, then gets all wrapped around himself and tangled up and starts pulling his ends out a bit, and finally he walks up to the bar and asks for a beer. the bartender says, "don't you get it? i told your friends we don't serve your kind here. aren't you a piece of string?" and he says, "no. i'm a frayed knot." Alreeet then, fine! My turn... A bear walks into a bar and stares at the bartender for a bit, without blinking, like this .....
"Ginger Ale and Brandy, please!", politely asks the bear. "Sure thing", says the bartender, "...But why the big pause? "
"They're just average sized paws if you ask me  "
"..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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jayaredee said: AsianBoi777 said: What did one Tampon say to the other Tampon? NOTHING!! They where both stuck up cunts!
OMG THAT IS SOOOOO FUNNAY!!! It gets mixed results because of the C-word. | |
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AsianBoi777 said: What did one Tampon say to the other Tampon? NOTHING!! They where both stuck up cunts!  | |
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Lleena said: Hi JD!
A horse walks into bar and orders a drink..the bartender says.."why the long face?" And that is one of my good ones Hi Lleena, how are you?!
How does Bob Marley like his doghnuts? With jammin'. | |
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What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes. | |
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Number23 said: What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes. What's red and sits in a tree? A sanitary owl. [Edited 3/20/05 12:44pm] | |
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JDINTERACTIVE said: Number23 said: What's red and invisible?
No tomatoes. What's red and sits in a tree? A sanitary owl.
[Edited 3/20/05 12:44pm] What's black and white and can;t get through a lift door? A nun with a javelin pole through her neck. | |
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JDINTERACTIVE said: Lleena said: Hi JD!
A horse walks into bar and orders a drink..the bartender says.."why the long face?" And that is one of my good ones Hi Lleena, how are you?!
How does Bob Marley like his doghnuts? With jammin'. |
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how do u confuse a man? tell him 2 find ur G spot.
whats ET short for?.....cos he's onli got little legs. how do u know if uve passed an elephant?..u cant put the toilet seat down. just reading an article on dangers of alcohol. scared the shit out of me, so ive decided from 2day, no more fucking reading for me. Pardon me for living', but this is my world too! | |
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damnedifido05 said: just reading an article on dangers of alcohol. scared the shit out of me, so ive decided from 2day, no more fucking reading for me.
'...son of a bitch, bastard, twat, spell' edit  [Edited 3/20/05 13:32pm] "..My work is personal, I'm a working person, I put in work, I work with purpose.." | |
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just read this in the readers digest:
"guess what i heard today?"a man says to his wife. "what hon?" she asks. "The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one." "huh," his wife says, "i bet it's that stuck-up phylilis in number 23." | |
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TheDuck said: just read this in the readers digest:
"guess what i heard today?"a man says to his wife. "what hon?" she asks. "The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one." "huh," his wife says, "i bet it's that stuck-up phylilis in number 23." Nah, Phylilis is alright, she's just a little shy. It's that Christian woman at number 32 who causes all the problems round here. | |
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