So this guy moves in next door to me about two months ago. I caught him yesterday pounding on my door. He apparently is doing it to tease my chihuahua puppy while I'm not at home.. no wonder he's been freaking out whenever someone knocks on the door. So I open the door unexpectedly, I only see a shadow of him going into his apartment. I yell a few explictives and slam the door. I dont think anything of it until this morning, my Jeep's tire is slashed. I am so mad I am thinking evil thoughs. Please.... need ideas of how to torture him...at least in a somewhat legal manner. My bf's a cop so I can't go to crazy. Come on people, there are some seriously deviant minds around here !

Can't you get your b/f to talk to him?

Get a can of gasoline and pour it on his lawn and spell "jackass". It'll kill the grass where ever you pour it and it'll show everyone how much of a jackass he is. Or, you can always just put a flaming bag of poop on his doorstep.

Put smelly fish under his windows.

On a night where there's dew on the lawn, pour oatmeal all over it. Or, the flaming bag of poop.

You could put dog poop on his doorstep.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Ahh the old flaming dogshit trick a true classic

mdiver said:

Or human-poop. Either one will suffice.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Yep definately do the old flaming poo trick, human would be well funny

ReturnOfDOOK said:

He called the shit POOP!

ella731 said:

althom said:

Not really. He can't really identify himself with the division he is in.

girlygirl said:

Who needs a b/f who is a cop when you have poo.....that is on fire, it works on so many levels

i've heard of people calling several different pizza joints and having pizzas delivered to their enemy's house, so that within 30-45 minutes, there'll be like six pizza guys knocking at their door at the same time.

not that i'd ever do anything like that, because it's mean and you should never do it.

Anxiety said:

Most pizza places have caller ID and check to see if the number matches the address they are supposed to be delivering to.

Tom said:

DAMMIT!!!

Shoot him in the ass with a crossbow.

That is terrible! You should file a report and explain to the cops why you think it was your neighbor that may have slashed those tires, and have them pay a visit. If this continues to escalate, at least you will have it on record, as evidence in the future. If you're neighbor knows that you're keeping a close eye on him, he may be more apprehensive about doing stupid shit like that in the future.

Whack him over the head with a crow bar. Then put a flaming bag of poop on his doorstep.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

And then dip your arrow in the flaming poop and shoot it at him with your crossbow.

build an obscene snowman in his yard. make it out of poop.

Anxiety said:

Anxitey wins.

Anxiety said:

That would require about 80 pounds of poop.....








































Let me just get my barrels of poop out of my garage and I'll be over in 20 minutes.

shoot him. that is gooood revenge, just ask buscemi

I once had an insane neighbour once who basically got legally involved wif my mum. I have no idea what made us do this, but we were both so pissed (she used 2 purposely bring her little dogz out whenever i'd take my dog out to do his toilet and feed him cause he was very sick with diabetes) ...anywayz this is crazy, but as a prank, we made out this flyer for "people who need help" and on it we put a number, which was da number for a rubbish disposal place called "Rubbish R US" she was so out of it, i don't even think she knew who planted it in her letter box

Never done anything like dat before- and have never done it againz but it was funny at da timez...absolutely crazy when i fink about it nowz!!!