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PrintableAnxiety said: i'm a little sad at seeing all the people who are saying "i wouldn't wish being gay on anyone". it makes it sound like being gay is like having diabetes or something, and it's not. it's just one of the attributes life deals a person, like being born male or female, brown-eyed or blue-eyed, left-handed or right-handed.
i haven't placed my bets in the whole "what makes someone queer?" conundrum. frankly, i don't care. i know how i tick and i know what i am, and knowing how i got that way isn't gonna change much. i didn't really grow up conflicted about my sexuality - my only issue was bracing myself for the way other people treat gay folks, and building up the confidence to not give a shit about homophobic shitwads. so, is it hard to be gay? yeah. at times. on the one hand, you DO have the homophobic shitwads. i'm always a little worried in the mornings when i walk my boyfriend to the train station, because i think one day someone's gonna be offended by the quick little smooch we give each other and beat the crap out of us. i don't like that some people might see us holding hands and react like we're trying to make some kind of fucking political statement, when it's something any couple would do. on the other side of the spectrum, i think mainstream gay male culture sucks. it's full of self-loathing body fascists who shun anyone who doesn't look like a ken doll, while at the same time they're filling their "perfect" bodies full of all kinds of skanky drugs that'll have 'em looking like iggy pop by the time they're 35. 
but, i dunno, i don't think about this stuff a lot on a day-to-day basis. my sweetie and i don't really involve ourselves with the gay "scene", and neither of us really fixate on all the possible gaybashing scenarios the world has to offer, though we're not stupid - we're as streetsmart as anyone. i think for me, my sexuality is just one part of what i am. it doesn't wholly define me, though it's surely one of the ingredients that define me. i could bitch about how it's tough being left-handed sometimes, or how it's tough being a music lover sometimes, or a thousand different things. everything has its plusses and minuses. and ya know what? i'd wish being gay on EVERYONE - at least for a day, for the sake of understanding. right on anx | |
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Anxiety said: and ya know what? i'd wish being gay on EVERYONE - at least for a day, for the sake of understanding. OK you have me on that one. I think I was coming from the place where if I had a choice...or if you could have a choice for yourself or your kids. I think that's where I was coming from. I would never take away my gayness or any part of that from me what-so-ever. It is so integral to my being. If I had children, I would hope that they would not have to go throgh the same struggles as I did...Though I would prepare them a lot better for that part of life and that it can very well include them or thier friends. I would hope that things would be easier for them and that being gay would not be something I would want them to handle, but they would be able to if faced with that challenge. And by all means know what it was and wasn't about. I think that being Gay is wonderful and has enlightened me and exposed me to things, I think I wouldn't have been. And perhaps if I was given a choice before I realized what my sexuality was, I would still choose to be gay...as my struggles weren't that much compared to some friends I know. | |
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I know this probably pales in comparison to the looks and stares you guys may have gotten over the years for holding hands with someone of your own sex, but my girlfriend is significantly taller than me and we get the occasional person who treats us differently. mostly it's people who think we're trying to make a statement, but we're not. we're just two people who love each other. so i can kind of relate on that front...i stress kinda, because it doesn't bother me at all these days and it in fact seems more accepted now than when we first started going out, 6 years ago. In any case, I really feel the struggle you guys have sometimes, and especially with Impressed's post....it DOES suck that white people are put on a pedestal in some communities, and generally Western society as a whole....I wish it would change, because people of all backgrounds, faiths and sexual orientations are fucking EQUAL, man. Just ignore that shit the best you can and follow your destiny if you're a victim of it but don't become victimised by it....
Impressed, you listed some great qualities about yourself, so never stop believing in yourself, man. peace to Impressed and everyone.  | |
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Just wanted to try this smiley.
thesexofit said:   Hey lover..ive got a sugarcane...that I wanna lose in you...baby can you stand the pain | |
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2the9s could answer this best | |
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i feel for the guy who doesn't want to be gay... as comfatable as i am with my sexuality there are someday i think it would be easier to be straight.
but than again my life is totally different because of my sexuality. yes it let to my drug use, my catching HIV, and the great life i have today. it's hard, the ugly words i've heard from my own brother and some of my cousins have hurt... but it doesn't matter really. as long as i contiune to do what i believe is right all will be well. You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
authentic power is service- Pope Francis | |
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It took me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin, just last year actually. I kinda always thought about my sexcapades as just exploring, me not really being bi or gay because that would mean I was being labelled and I hate labels. It's much harder being a gay male than a gay female. Who doesn't think two chicks together is hot? But walking down the street in Boystown or trying to come out to my family is stil a very painful memory to me. I do believe my soon to be 18 year old is hetero. I actually hope he is. I, too would not wish the lifestyle on anyone.
As far as the community and how we feel about each other, when I am with family, it is the most wonderful, loving place to be. | |
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wanna know whats tougher?....bein tha "stag" that everyone calls when there's Fag drama  | |
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TheRealFiness said: wanna know whats tougher?....bein tha "stag" that everyone calls when there's Fag drama
"stag"?? what's that, like the straight guy version of a "hag"? a "fag stag"? | |
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Anxiety said: TheRealFiness said: wanna know whats tougher?....bein tha "stag" that everyone calls when there's Fag drama
"stag"?? what's that, like the straight guy version of a "hag"? a "fag stag"?  Thank you. Thank you both. | |
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"fag stag" is a new one on me.
though i've heard the name for gay guys who hang out exclusively with lesbians is "dyke tyke". | |
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the only fag stag i knew got married and had a couple kids... gay people do age better. You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
authentic power is service- Pope Francis | |
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ehuffnsd said: the only fag stag i knew got married and had a couple kids... gay people do age better.
i'm aging like a fucking superstar. i think i was born with botox in my blood or something. | |
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Anxiety said: ehuffnsd said: the only fag stag i knew got married and had a couple kids... gay people do age better.
i'm aging like a fucking superstar. i think i was born with botox in my blood or something.  | |
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TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: Anxiety said: i'm aging like a fucking superstar. i think i was born with botox in my blood or something.  my secret: keeping beautiful company is good for the complexion.  | |
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Anxiety said: TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: You do look fabolous, darling.
my secret: keeping beautiful company is good for the complexion.  Oh, yeah. Your boyfriend's kinda hot, too.  | |
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TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: Anxiety said: my secret: keeping beautiful company is good for the complexion. Oh, yeah. Your boyfriend's kinda hot, too. come on now, you know you have The Hotness. | |
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i'm lucky... the hotness i have was gradual... i wasn't born totally hot... but have gotten there over time... those that born hot tend to run out early of hotness You CANNOT use the name of God, or religion, to justify acts of violence, to hurt, to hate, to discriminate- Madonna
authentic power is service- Pope Francis | |
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TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: Anxiety said: "stag"?? what's that, like the straight guy version of a "hag"? a "fag stag"? Thank you. Thank you both. that's good.  | |
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ehuffnsd said: the only fag stag i knew got married and had a couple kids... gay people do age better.
we take better care of ourselves. well at least our skin [Edited 3/14/05 22:40pm] | |
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Anxiety said: TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said: You do look fabolous, darling.
my secret: keeping beautiful company is good for the complexion. As long as the company you keep isn't stashed in your freezer..... Sorry, I'm in a dark mood today.  MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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Anxiety said: TheRealFiness said: wanna know whats tougher?....bein tha "stag" that everyone calls when there's Fag drama
"stag"?? what's that, like the straight guy version of a "hag"? a "fag stag"? lol.. dont make me read u  please dont cus i can throw shade trust | |
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HamsterHuey said: Okay.
I admit it. Being gay is way better. Life is more beautiful when you are gay. Gays are sexier. Better looking. Better paid. We get all the girls, even when we don't want them; they all want to be our friend. We have more sex. Better sex. Raunchier sex. Guiltless sex. We love sex. Live for sex. We have no other hobby basically. Besides Madonna music. And sex. And having sex while playing Madonna music. And Kylie. And some Cher. Grim. | |
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Anxiety said: i'm a little sad at seeing all the people who are saying "i wouldn't wish being gay on anyone". it makes it sound like being gay is like having diabetes or something, and it's not. it's just one of the attributes life deals a person, like being born male or female, brown-eyed or blue-eyed, left-handed or right-handed.
i haven't placed my bets in the whole "what makes someone queer?" conundrum. frankly, i don't care. i know how i tick and i know what i am, and knowing how i got that way isn't gonna change much. i didn't really grow up conflicted about my sexuality - my only issue was bracing myself for the way other people treat gay folks, and building up the confidence to not give a shit about homophobic shitwads. so, is it hard to be gay? yeah. at times. on the one hand, you DO have the homophobic shitwads. i'm always a little worried in the mornings when i walk my boyfriend to the train station, because i think one day someone's gonna be offended by the quick little smooch we give each other and beat the crap out of us. i don't like that some people might see us holding hands and react like we're trying to make some kind of fucking political statement, when it's something any couple would do. on the other side of the spectrum, i think mainstream gay male culture sucks. it's full of self-loathing body fascists who shun anyone who doesn't look like a ken doll, while at the same time they're filling their "perfect" bodies full of all kinds of skanky drugs that'll have 'em looking like iggy pop by the time they're 35.
but, i dunno, i don't think about this stuff a lot on a day-to-day basis. my sweetie and i don't really involve ourselves with the gay "scene", and neither of us really fixate on all the possible gaybashing scenarios the world has to offer, though we're not stupid - we're as streetsmart as anyone. i think for me, my sexuality is just one part of what i am. it doesn't wholly define me, though it's surely one of the ingredients that define me. i could bitch about how it's tough being left-handed sometimes, or how it's tough being a music lover sometimes, or a thousand different things. everything has its plusses and minuses. and ya know what? i'd wish being gay on EVERYONE - at least for a day, for the sake of understanding. Mavellous stuff.  | |
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Impressed said: I'm an attractive black male, 6'1, 175 lbs., 32" waist, full lips, smooth skin, college degreed, upper middle class background, drug & disease free (HIV negative as of 3/14/05), former teen magazine model, hopeless romantic, don't smoke, rarely drink, very sensitive, spontaneous and yet because my skin is dark... I get little to NO ACTION in this fucking culture.
Lord, I wish I could just be straight and like women. Man, it would be much easier from the sound of your description of yourself, i cannot fathom why you wouldn't get any 'action' from men. it sounds like (in my opinion) you would get a lot of female attention...however...i know that isn't what you want. you may think it would be easier to be interested in women but finding the right relationship sucks whether its with a man or a woman. i know (or at least try to understand) that every other aspect of being gay is much more difficult then being straight, not being affectionate in public out of fear, not being 'permitted' (which is bullshit btw) to get married, coming out to family and being scared of ridicule, violence and discrimination because of the way you were born. as a straight person we do not experience this in the same context. you really sound as though you could use a hug though...
i know an online hug isn't nearly as good as one in real life but your post touched me and spoke to me...i hope things get better for you. suicide is never an option. from one depressed and previously medicated person (me) to you... you're only as old as you feel..............so how old do i feel 
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. | |
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