tackam said:

My point was that there will be many times for us as men to take advantage of the viewpionts from our loving partners(wives). that's not to say that men never react emotional or that women never react logical. But as a team it is to the advantage of the team for the "head" to make full use of the opposing viewpoints from his team mates. Had I as "head" not listened to my partner the outcome certainly would have not been to the advantage of our team. That tackum, was my point. Sorry I didn't make that clear.

SammiJ said:

If you are so bored or annoyed by this thread, then why do you keep coming back and repling? Could it be the emotional side of you that just can't let it go, in other words, got to have the last say. I can see that that nuke button would have been pushed a long time ago with you at the helm.
[Edited 3/11/05 9:50am]

it is because of attitudes like jw that i don't want to get married. head of the household?? wtf. its 2005...not 1955. less divorce in the 50's?? of course...women were afraid to stand up to their husbands and the injustices of life back then...it was also more common for men to beat their wives then too. did that make it right?? no. i am the head of my household. i work. i nurture. i cook. i clean. i don't need someone to make decisions for me...i make them for myself. as for your definition of a real man...fuck that. if a real man is someone who insists on being the 'boss'...i'm glad i don't know one. i am a 'real' woman. someone who enjoys taking care of herself and who would never be submissive to a man. it has taken too long for women to get where we are today, no way would i take a step backwards. i can't believe you convinced someone to marry you with archaeic views like that. thank god for alchool huh?

jw1914 said:

it seems as if you're confusing the idea of 'gender roles' with 'being a real man'.


real men can function as valuable members of a family without being the 'head' of the family. just my 2c

jw1914 said:

you have GOT to be kidding. excuse me but what a backward viewpoint. it's completely out of touch with reality. it absolutely does not jive with the world today.

wow. scary to think this stuff is still being preached to gullible minds.

Thank you so much ladies for illustrating so emotionally why some men cheat. These "old time" family values of mine that seem to work so well in the 50's at a time when there were far less broken families, far less divorces, far less fatherless children, are not cherished anymore by the modern women. If one would to be honest, my comments put more pressure to change for the better on men readers than women readers. Now ask yourself why it is that you don't have a man at all, not a real man, a man at all. Who is it that wants control? Love was in my formular, total indepentance is your solution. Again we have to ask the question "Why men cheat?"

I started this thread knowing exactly how most women would respond to it. The answer to why men cheat got lost in the argument of who is the boss. If you ladies want to be the "head" of your family learn not to let your emotions cloud the issues at hand. Thanks for helping me to prove this point.

lillith said:

When did I ever say that "a real man is someone who insist on being the boss"?

jw1914 said:

oh please.

i am angry that i allowed myself to be baited by these assinine comments.
however...
why don't i have a man?? because i choose not to. i have settled for less before and i choose not to again. i know what i'm worth. i have decided not to get married by choice. i have been proposed to twice but i have turned them down. not that any of this is any of your business but it infuriates me that you attribute the fact that i am single to the fact that i can't get a man, when reality is that i don't NEED one. i think it is disgusting the way you rationalize with your below average intellect the reasons why men cheat. sex is one reason but it is more likely for the attention that they feel they are lacking in their current relationship. is this always the womans fault?? probably not. when are we going to address the fact that this is the cheaters problem?? if you cannot control yourself...take ownership. stop putting the blame on someone else. it is not the person that was cheated ons fault. men, keep your dick in your pants. women, keep your legs closed. have some respect for your partner and for yourself.
btw...i don't want 'control' i want an equal partnership, and hearing your views show reitterate the reasons why i prefer to stay single.
'love was my formular'???? total independance is NOT my solution. i would love to find someone to share my life with...the key word here is SHARE.
the fact that you say families were better in the 50's just shows lack of information...again...women just didn't speak up then. and i am sorry to shatter your illusion but there were plenty of fatherless children back then...they were just given up for adoption....now we know as women that we can take care of our children on our own.

i'm done. i refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed. its just not fair.
[Edited 3/11/05 11:55am]

jw1914 said:

Dude, you're nothing but flame bait. Too bad people don't realize that.

jw1914 said:

Women know why men cheat. Women are so much more in control of relationships and the truth within them than men will probably ever be. You came into this thread with the premise of explaining why men stray when their women hold out on them.

Did it ever occur to you that a woman might actually have a good reason for not feeling like participating in a sex life with her husband? As a man, you don't know what it's like to be penetrated. You don't know the potential vulnerability involved, and like most men you've completely missed the point that men need to be cognizent of women as emotional creatures. Men would be much better served at looking at themselves and how they interact with their wives because women shut down sexually when they feel alienated or when they feel like they are being taken for granted.

Try living somewhere outside your nutsack and you'll discover more than shortsighted theories about why relationships sour.

lillith said:

It's not

animal said:

i have realized it. that is why i am angry with myself for posting on it...but i am a woman...and i do get emotional sometimes. i also get angry with stupidity thats why i am done with this thread.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

lillith said:

Isn't it obvious now why men make better family heads than women? Look at how easily you get worked up.Doesn't take much to push your emotional buttons.I'm just one man, why attribute my views to all men, unless you already have a negative view of all men. Now do we want our family heads to make decision based on stereotype?

jw1914 said:

It's not that you didn't make that point clear, it's that it's not what you SAID. You explained your partner's actions as "displaying her emotions", when what she was really doing was being rational in the face of your emotional behavior. This is an example of you trying to keep people in their neat and tidy boxes, which do not in any way reflect reality.

My hypothesis is that you do this out of a very normal human, emotional reaction to a big scary world: fear and insecurity. However, you have allowed those emotions to rule your head, producing a worldview that is warped and twisted to make you feel more secure, but which does not reflect the realities of male or female experience or of society in general.


It is true that it is good to consider the view of your parnter in various situations to come to the best decisions/conclusions. However, this does not require a "head". It is a mutual give-and-take process. You would LIKE it to require a "head", because it clarifies your role in the world and allows you to feel powerful. But that is simply not the case.


Your reaction to the women on this thread is condescending. The women have displayed no more emotional reactions than some of the men, but you are disregarding their views because of your misogynistic attitudes.
[Edited 3/11/05 12:02pm]

jw1914 said:

You are only hearing what you want to hear. You don't understand why your comment about women not having a man is irritating? Did it ever occur to you that a woman is being smart by not settling for a man who isn't going to make her happy? Instead you peddle ridiculous notions and then try and take some kind of higher intellectual ground. Trust, you aren't displaying intellect in this thread.

tackam said:

Beautifully said. It's obvious through that story that the men were really into their emotions, to the point that they were going to fight over them. Reasoning men do not fight. And it's hilarious that when a woman uses reason to calm down the situation, she's using emotions only. She may have approached the two men from an emotional angle but she was the only one using her intellect

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I'm sorry, but some of you ladies comments were funny, but I can tell now that I have touched a nerve with some of you. But it's not funny when both sexes can not laugh together. If any of my comments offended you ladies I apologize with true sincerity, that was not my intentions. I don't believe that I missed the point in recognizing that women are emotional creatures, I think I pointed that out a number of times. My wife will tell you that I have never insisted on having sex if she wasn't in the mood, that would certainly not be pleasurable event for me nor her.
When a wife holds back sex from her mate (or vice versa) for an extended period of time, this needs to be discussed, otherwise much more serious problems are sure to develope. Husbands need to know if their wives feel negleted, taken advantage of. Talk it out! Don't keep that bottled up inside. Find a good peaceful time to discuss it.

Again I apologize to the ladies. I'm just being an insensitive male, that's all.

tackam said:

You just might want to go back and view all my comments before you reply.

jw1914 said:

you really only started appologizing after she posted her comment.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

My suggestion to review all my comments were not to look for apologies in my comments but to see my views on the subject that she obviously missed by her comments. Emotions running high can also cloud vision as well.

jw1914 said:

You should know

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I believe my comments were pretty consistent through out this discussion. But then again I'm not perfect, I may have slipped up once or twice. Calm down it was a joke! Wow you women are so emotional!!!
[Edited 3/11/05 12:54pm]

jw1914 said:

I have a dick between my legs but thank you for callin me a woman. I take that as a compliment

Your opening post is confusing--what is this thread about: Oprah being a man-basher, men cheating or women using sex to manipulate?

Let's review:

1. You've watched Oprah a whopping one time now, and your suspicions were confirmed that she's a man basher--but you don't say what she said or did to prove this. (technically, if you watch the show more regularly, you'll see that she's an equal opportunity gender basher; it's unhealthy, destructive behaviors she looks at) Give us examples of how Oprah proved her man-bashing.

2. You say women lure men into marriage with sex and then hold out, causing men to cheat with other women. Why do studies on the topic of infidelity (along with several men on this thread) say otherwise?

The rest of this--heads of household, women being emotional, etc.--are all just lemmings.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yo dude you say you have a di*k, yet you refer to your partner as "he". Help me out here, did I miss something?

jw1914 said:

I'm a cocksucker, you know, one of them homos this country is so afraid of Now that you've discovered I have a dick between my legs, does that make my posts logical and rational? According to your logic it does

jw1914 said:

Wow!!! That one really got by me there. I guess I'm a little too "old school". Now that truly explains your comments. My bad dude, uh sir, mame, whatever, I just refer to you as Supa, ok?