SammiJ said:

My point was not to justify a man's cheating, but rather to help woman to see that there is a problem in the relationship that cause's a man to cheat. That problem is not to be pointing fingers, but recognizing then attempting to solve the problem by both partners. That's what was not showed on the Oprah show.
[Edited 3/10/05 15:21pm]

jw1914 said:

but you pointed the finger...and it wasnt to the man.
this is getting exhausting...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Agreed 100%. I won't go out with a woman who is ultra-traditional, and does that "the man's the head of the home" malarky. And it's sickening and shocking how many women today still believe that.

I'm a Scorpio and am extremely willful and oftentimes, it's a negative trait. I can get VERY obstinate when I don't get my way. Thankfully, however, I've finally learned to recognize when I'm stepping on toes. Both people MUST be able to reach compromise...without it FEELING like a compromise. It's pretty simple, really. Both people share their reasons about WHY they feel a certain way. There's ALWAYS a middle ground where different opinions reach (except when politics, religion or The Great Pumpkin is brought up). It's just a matter of talking it up and realizing that being RIGHT isn't really important. Being IN LOVE is more important. So egos be damned--shut up, sit down, talk it out ... and figure out how to make one another happy.

Sweeny79 said:

Hey Moderator...create your own thread! And stop JACKING this one!

Carry on....Whap!

SammiJ said:

If I am talking about being a real man, and what a real man should be doing, I would think the reader would not be viewing my comments a bias. Bettering ourselves as wives, husbands involve taking a good look at ourselves not our mate. Then make adjustments and encouraging our mates to do the same.

Oprah isn't a "Man-Basher" she's just a brilliant woman who has found her niche in catering to the psyches of most women.

I think she's Jim Jones reincarnated!!!

Oprah is a CULT LEADER!!!

jw1914 said:

everyone has their views on what a "real man" is/sould be..and the way you presented all your arguments were no-doubt biased.u can't deny that..
you need 2 work on your approach

Case said:

While decisions should take in the opinions of all family members, there'll be times when opinions differ, that the main reason why a position of "head of household" is necessary. A decision will still need to be made when opinions differ. Again the "head" should not make decisions solely based on his/her own opinion. Love takes over. Remember no one is perfect. The "head" is not perfect, and at times will make mistakes. It's a learning experience and love will make up for those mistakes.

Case said:

You have no idea how many brawls I got into over that freaken Great Pumpkin!

Really the bottom line in all this isn't really to denegrate men. Compromise is the key Relationships are hard work and nobody is going to be right 100% of the time, unless of course you're talking about me Seriously, both people need to constantly work to find out and know what is right for each other and this whole designated head of household cares more about fulfilling itself as a role than fulfilling itself as a relationship.

jw1914 said:

This shit is so ridiculous

So in times when opinions (hers) differs, head of household is necessary. A decision will still need to be made when opinions differ (and they won't be hers). The head should not make decisions based on (his) own opinions and the head (him) will at times make mistakes. So you are advocating that one person make the decisions and the other be damned if they are right

Do tell me, how does the man make up for not letting his wife take the role as lead in certain sitations he turns out to be wrong about? This religious bullshit needs to go.

.
[Edited 3/10/05 15:46pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You are so sensitive to women! I appreciate that.

The most difficult period of accepting the role of "head" in a relationship is most likely when that relationship consist only of a man and a woman, two adult with their own opinions. When the family consist of many opinions the need for a "head" becomes more obvious. Not recognizing and accepting this role/position has been the root of many failed relationships.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

THANK U.

jw1914 said:

u sound like you're plagerizing a book from the 1950s... can we just stop it already?

ENOUGH.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Taking the lead role and making the decisions based on the views of others is completely different. There will always be decisions questioned later when the outcome is unsucessful. All the more reason for the "head" to consult each family member [when applies] before making a final decision. Like a sucessful business the CEO must delegate decision making to others whom his trust will make the proper decision. The "head" does not make every decision, [color of the curtain], but altimately he/her must stand behind that decision.


Now to you Supa, how is this topic religious?

jw1914 said:

Your rhetoric is straight out of *insert religion here* handbooks.

i swear 2 god if this is prince (/larry?) im arguing with....

SammiJ said:

No one will argue that there were much less family break-ups in the 1950's. But somewhere we lost family values, and it's been downhill ever since. Wouldn't you agree.

SammiJ said:

jw1914 said:

Depends on what you consider values. There is nothing valuable about cookie cutter expectations. People are people and marriages/relationships are joint ventures.

AsianBoi777 said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I don't believe I ever mentioned God nor did I ever qoute any bible verses.

Could it be that doing the right thing makes one conscious of their "head" GOD? Sorry Supa, didn't know you were so sensitive.

jw1914 said:

You're a laugh a minute. I'm sure that JW1914 means nothing If I'm not mistaken.....







































1914 is an important date in the Jehovah Witness faith. This shit is so transparent it's Casper the ghost

Assigning head of household based on who owns what genitalia is not "right". It's outdated and selfish. Both people need to lead each other and especially if a family is involved both people need to lead their family equally.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I couldn't agree more. But in light of the topic of "men cheating/men bashing" I'm sure you will agree that whenever a man cheats on his wife this is unacceptable in our time as much as it was in the 1950's. Assigning a "head" in a relationship does not mean the relationship is not a joint venture. Problem comes when we start viewing the role of "head" as "boss, dictator", rather it is a "responsible" role.

jw1914 said:

Then why don't we automatically assign women to the lead role. Under your argument that should be acceptable. It's not about being the boss right?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

For the record Supa, there are many families within the Jehovah Witness faith that have women as "head of household". Studies in all cultures have shown the wisdom in selecting a leader in any joint venture, it works toward the forward progress of a team. People are different and their attributes are differents, it is the "head" who makes good use of the attribute of his team members. Having a head assigned to a relationship does not make the members in a relationship "unequal" partners. "Both people need to lead each other" isn't that called a "oxy morron" or something like that? Both can not lead.

jw1914 said:

patriarchal benevolance.

I'm a man. I like being a man. I'm proud of being a man.
But I have more than a thousand times in my life, would've preferred
my mom being the "head" of the house.

Is this a failing with my father? Yes. But its oh so common.
Men are more flawed then women morally, me thinks. We've had 3 million years
to get the traditional family right, and it ain't looking so hot--it's about time we let nontraditional family show us a thing or two.



.
[Edited 3/10/05 16:41pm]

kisscamille said:

the way she goes about things at times comes off as false.

AsianBoi777 said:

i think ive fallen in love with u again.
[Edited 3/10/05 16:48pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Without arguing religiously, but simply logically, the male in most species take on the dominate role. That may be to his size and physical advantage to protect the family. When a member in a family witnesses the "head" carring out his/her responsibilty lovingly with the entire familie's wellbeing in mind, it's not a burdom to accept the "head's" role.