SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Ya missing my point Supra. Wives and all family members should have a part in decision making. A real man will recongize his weakness' and will straw strenght from his wife who may excell over him in certain areas where dicisions are necessary. That doesn't excuse him from shouldering his responsibilty as head of the house. It should never be where "I'm the head today, and you're the head tommorrow". Communication is the key to making the proper decision.

jw1914 said:

so let's look @ this in a nother perspective
the woman buys the house...buys everything...brings the most income in2 the home....
should the man still be considered head of the household if his ass aint pullin his weight?

Sweeny79 said:

Then why is it that the first thing a wife will ask her suspecting cheating husband is "Did you sleep with her?"

jw1914 said:

And through communication, a man will recognize when he's not being wise and go with his wife's decision if she's right. You're automatically assigning control to a person because of their genitalia. That's wrong.

jw1914 said:

it appears that u seem 2 kno this first hand....or u watch 2 much jerry springer/trash.

jw1914 said:

Because we fear betrayal.

Maybe we fear the worst.... maybe we dont know what else to ask.

Hearing yes to the question "Did you sleep with her?" Is a lot easier to hear than a yes to " Do you love her?"

jw1914 said:

She wants to know.

Women tend to cheat for emotional reasons and men tend to cheat for physical ones. Men need to recognize their women as more than a body to get off on and women need to recognize their men's appetites. A balanced approach from both sides can only help. Now in my case, my partner and I always want to ball but I'm super emotional so I need that side of me tended to as well. My partner hasn't always recognized it and it becomes a problem if he neglects that part of me for too long.

No #1 man-hating movie has to be "Anatomy of Hell".

origmnd said:

Testosterone is the most dangerous drug introduced to the human body

.

jw1914 said:

you know you were damn right 2 edit the hell out of what you just said.

SammiJ said:

I did it by mistake I thought I hit reply with quote but I edited his response. I'm so sorry!!!

Sweeny79 said:

it happened 4 a reason
karma's a beautiful bitch, innit?
[Edited 3/10/05 14:40pm]

SammiJ said:

I'm such a

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Somehow many attribute "head of household" as having control. That not the way we want to view that position. It is a responsibility position. A man who takes on the responsible position as the "head" would never allow his own opinion to dictate his decisiions.

jw1914 said:

1914 huh? yeah, your age is showing


you know no such thing as equality do you?

jw1914 said:

That may not how you want to "view" it, but that is the way you are presenting it. Men need to get over their egos and realize their women are equals and that this whole "responsiblity, head of household role" is a bunch of ego trippin bullshit.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Amen.

SammiJ said:

Why do you view the position of "head" as unequal? Could your head do anything without the other body parts working together?

1914 has nothing to do with my age, but if you need me to explain I will do so through a orgnote.

jw1914 said:

please dont orgnote me, i'll live without knowing..

i just dont understand why you feel that the man should take on responsibilty of the house...and once u suggest the woman does everything the man is no longer a man... you make no sense 2 me.

jw1914 said:

ego..... Get over it.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

The abuse of this position has lead many to view the position as "head" in the same way you do. That does not neglect the need for the position. Maybe thats one of the contributing factors in why men may cheat.

Now, to add my long to this discussion...

I have a very close friend (who could be far more if I let it happen) who loves getting into these types of discussions with me about men/women/marriage/etc. She's old school for real, but very much so a modern, strong, and independent woman, believe me.

Anyway, she has posed a hypothetical scenario to me. If she and I were married, she recognizes that I am the head of the household. Bar none, I believe that the two would be as equals, but she said it, not me. I let her know that I recognize that there comese big responsibility with that "title". No problem. However, I do believe that a lot of men are not willing to actually "be" that role, they'd rather "play the role". Hell, if she wants to be called the head of the household, fine. I will publicly announce her as that. There are times, I believe where one person would step aside and let the other handle a certain aspect of the marriage/discussion/househole/bill/whatever just as well as times where both would handle it. I truly understand that need in relationships, but it's hard to guage where a person's mindset is if you're not on the same page.

I just know thatI wouldn't want to be getting into a marriage where I no longer trust my wife, nor she has any reason to trust me. That said, not only men cheat, but women do too. And not all of either gender does that. Don't fool nor lie to yourselves.


Man....figuring out relationships/marriage sux...

The need-to-be-looking-for-a-ring edit....
[Edited 3/10/05 15:05pm]

jw1914 said:

u need 2 stop trying to justify cheating...

SammiJ said:

Being a man has nothing to do with being an adult male. Being a real man implies taking on the responsible role as taking the lead, setting the example for the family. If a husband has allowed his wife to be in position of "doing everything" then is he truly being a man?

jw1914 said:

Good question.

Answer: no.

jw1914 said:

Having personal experience with adultery and having seen many marriages break up over it (including my folks'), I can attest that many (if not MOST) men who cheat are still fucking their wives regularly.

Poor communication DOES enter into the equation as a stimulus for why men cheat. However, men cheat on their wives even WHEN there's good communication. Many men cheat for one simple reason: Boredom. The fact is, men want and need something new. And after a while, the passion in a relationship turns down, and that giddy "in love" feeling wears off. The couple still may be aware that they LOVE each other and even FEEL love for other ... but it doesn't feel like that butterflies-in-the-tummy sensation that you get when you first start going out with a person.

So many (if not most) men cheat because they want back that sense of excitement, passion and youthfulness that infatuation and falling in love brings. And as far as the communication issue goes, think about this. When you first start going out with a person, you can't get enough of talking with them. You want to find out everything about them because they're new and you're fascinated by them. As a couple leaves "the salad days," they are forced to talk about the mundane stuff--rent, kids, mortgage, etc. Talking about EACH OTHER almost becomes like exercise. And so, adultery becomes attractive, because the guy/woman wants someone to talk to her like their partner did when they first started going out. They're BORED with their current situation.

jw1914 said:

why the hell not ?
a man also has dignity and should be able to "step down" (in your case anyway) and let someone else take "the lead"...in your case, the woman...

kill the egotrip - or just STOP where you are....you're not convincing anyone.

jw1914 said:

That's the weakest lame ass excuse for cheating I have ever seen..... I wanna be the decision maker, wah wah now I have to go cheat....

There should be no such thing as designated head of household. Decisions should be joint always.

Case said:

I've got to agree there, because seeing that I'm actually never bored, I have time to spend with company and then, when I'm not doing that, I'm actually busy with some form of project.