I think I need to change mine..

No comment.

THIS prolly doesnt apply to Mach either huh ?


BUT >>>


YES.. you can improve and better yourself ...if thats what is meant by change ?

but ONLY if you are doing it 100% for yourself because you choose to ... will it work

if ya are just trying to seem different for outside reasons... that will prolly bite you in the ass

SO THERE i dont care if you dont think thigs APPLY to me

Cloudbuster said:

Why? Its a serious question.

Absolutely yes but it takes a shit load of work

Mach said:

Well I dont want to better myself by change. I mean *completely* change my personality.


..and no.. its not for myself..

didnt mean to be rude

I'm in love with the idea of reinventing ones self. Personally I wish I wasn't so shy and as such I admit that I have difficulty making friends, dating as much and just generally being satisfied with myself.

I think it is possible to change our personality or a certain aspect of it, however I think we must know who we are and how we feel about (the important) things in life. I do know about what life is all about but I don't think I've organised it in my mind as such. It's rather like having a hundreds of good books scattered around a room but never organising them on a bookshelf. They're piled scruffily on the floor, so no matter how great they are, the room looks a mess.

I've never really sat myself down and thought such questions as what influence did my parents have on me and what qualities would I want to pass on to my kids should I have them. I guess those who do just know the answers and have a strong sense of self. As far as I'm concerned I think I need to train myself to gain more self knowledge if I want to change my personality.

Like I've said, I really want to overcome my shyness and other aspects of myself but I'm going to try and enjoy it at the same time. As John Lennon wrote, 'Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans'.

No, but the question always is, what's personality and what is behaviour?

Probably, but I prefer to construct my own little world where my current personality can play happily. That's why I'm a hermit.

animal said:

Exactly. You can't change your personality -that chapter is actually pretty much over after the age of 4. After that you can only polish your behaviour.

I think about it all the time, trying to be the person I want to be instead of the mf I am. I'm improving but I still need work, the biggest chunk of which is to be less critical of myself. I wish myself luck w/ that.

CalhounSq said:

I can send you free therapy in orgnotes.

Fauxie said:

I guess you would first have to decide that your personality was one fixed thing in order to decide to change it.

animal said:

Excellent.

REDBABY said:

I think things that happen in life and people you meet along the way change you when you least expect it

REDBABY said:

I think electro therapy might work on you...

Yup.

I was a painfully shy and self-concious 19 year old.

I made deliberate steps to change it:

Here's what worked for me:

1) Accept fearing things
2) Accept redicule in pursuit of those changes
3) Free yourselves of current relationships that bind you
4) Be Mindful--pay attention to your EVERY action and determine if they are moving in the direction you want to go
5) If at all possible--MOVE to a different location or hang out in different places. (I joined the military so it made a big difference)


As a result of my steps and changes I met people I would never have met before, I became someone I would have DIED to befriend in school, and I have experienced things to old me would have only blushed at.

AsianBomb777 said:

God, all these things people do to avoid coming out...

AsianBomb777 said:

Were these steps really deliberate? Or was it a side effect of growing up?
Not to say its impossible to improve yourself, but I've seen myself go through similar changes yet without really all that much consicous effort. As we grow we change with each new experience. It seems to slow down a bit as we get older, so maybe that's where the conscious effort comes in... I remember thinking every few years or so that I was pretty much as developed as I was ever gonna be, and yet year after year I can look back and see how much I've changed...

i don't think you can change your personality just your bad habits.

heybaby said:

But Red has so many! Where would she start?

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah--they were deliberate.
I spent alot of time in fear and hopelessness. I knew that with the course of the way things where going, I couldn't sustain my efforts and still stay sane.

The steps where very deliberate.
I wrote down where I wanted to be, and what I wanted to be like.
I then looked around me and saw people who had those traits. I then wrote down how they reacted to things.
I wrote down all the traits I needed to emulate, and how I needed to emulate them. By "pretending" to be a certain way mindfully, the actions started becoming more natural. This is not to say, I was being fake, becuase during the entire process I had to be "Transparent" and honest about why I was behaving a certain way. When I got more stern and started telling people "no" more often, I would realize it wasn't becuase I was trying to be an asshole, but becuase I was moving in the direction of being more assertive.

But anyways, there's a good deal of a certain amount of discomfort that you go through--but it works.

It's kind of like going to the gym--It hurts for a few weeks, it takes up a good deal of time in your day, it requires alot of sacrafice--but it completely changes you in the end.

HamsterHuey said:

whatever bugs her the most and work her way down
[Edited 3/13/05 17:06pm]

you can improve on yourself, sure
you mention shyness, try some courses to do with confidence
you need to do a lot of questioning of yourself and be prepared to face the truth in order to make change, sometimes this can hurt.
try reading some books about this subject.
i believe change happens all through your life
i wish u much luck on your life changing journey.