we are talking about having a threesome with another woman,has anyone been there,what was the outcome.

Been there!

When I was married a friend (girl) of mine was visiting us. We drank a little too much wine and we all ended up in bed having sex. It just happened... We didn't plan this and it felt a bit strange the next morning!
We never saw her again...

I think it only works for very few people. There's no harm in it if you're not in a relationship, but when you are I personally wouldn't want to risk it. But hey, I'm very conservative, narrowminded, boring and judgemental anyway.

animal said:

since when are you boring?

animal said:

No you're not. I agree with Animal (lol that sounds funny!), because you're married I wouldn't chance it.

I have thought about it.. but i think animal is right.. Its a very fine line only some people can cross and in relatioships i dont see it working.. Coming out of that situation is a sticky one.. Usually someone gets hurt or jealous or bothered... If there is no love or no attachment on either part, then yes go for it, but married couples.. Umm i dont think a good idea.

BAD IDEA

HowComeYouDontCallme said:

did it cause bad times,or was it just a erotic moment in time,that had no negative impact on your marriage.

CarrieLee said:

I being the male have never brought the idea up out of respect, but this was her idea, I am just going along with the possibility we are verry secure in marriage , just looking to be a little wild, not make a lifestyle out of it, I would hate when we are old to look back and wish we would have done it, but did not,there is risk I guess in every aspect of life.

I don't think it's as bad an idea as some are saying it is, but you do need to tread carefully if you decide to go through with it. Jealous types need not apply.

First and foremost make sure both you and your partner and truly, completely comfortable with the idea. If there's even an inkling of uneasiness on either part, don't do it. Next comes the task of finding a willing third party, who is not likely to try to horn in on your relationship or steal one partner from the other. This is easier said than done.

I've been involved in a threesome twice, both times was two females and one male. Though neither time involved a married couple, the second situation was a boyfriend/girlfriend and myself. Neither time did any problems or awkwardness occur after the fact.

I haven't had a boy/boy/girl threesome yet, but I'm still only 19 -I've all the time in the world to do that.

adrenalin said:

It was an erotic moment in time, yes! It didn't cause any problems at all between my (ex)husband and me. We had a very good marriage, where things like this could be discussed. .
We both wanted to experience this. And we knew it would not stand in the way of our love for eachother! And that's important!!
(Us breaking up had nothing to do with that, in fact, he's still my best friend!!).

the after effects could become a nightmare but may also not

the well thought/talked out act ... afterwards

could bring up huge monsters that are laying quietly

all the emotions and and dark areas could be stirred up ..ones that you may not even know are down deep inside both you and your partner... until after the act

Mach said:

I am cool with it,she introduced the idea, and we have talked about it alot,we have come to the agreement that if any side becomes freeked out at any time during the act it will end right then, no questions asked,never to be revisited.

It's something that I would definitely be open to, but I don't think that most marriages are strong enough for it. I'm a very hedonistic person and am open to a wide spectrum of sexual experiences, but the problem is, is that marriage is a PARTNERSHIP based on intimacy with two people. A third party could upset the ecosystem pretty easily. Sexual jealousy is a very potent, dangerous force and can start a serious blaze if allowed to go out of control. Believe me, I know...

meow85 said:

I like your way of thinking,if we both agree, and talk it out, it could be total erotic night enjoyed by all, with no harm done,we have been verry open with each other in our marriage we talk about everything , 8yrs and it is still like brand new.

Case said:

I can see your point, but if we dont try how will we ever know

adrenalin said:

Go rent "Chasing Amy." And by the way, I have personal experience with this topic, so trust me, the threat of it blowing up in your face is very real. And while you're correct in the "if we don't try, how will we know," it's one of those either/or situations. If it goes great, then you'll have a great erotic experience. If it goes bad...it could go very bad.

Talk it over with each other to really make sure that you share the same motive in inviting another person to bed with you. Your communication on this issue MUST be impeccable.

Case said:

true ,true,

Well, i've been in a threesome relationship during one year and a half. I was the third piece like we used to say in France ! Be careful. When you start playing this game, you have to trust your partner above all. When we first started to have sex, it was supposed to be a one shot. And then a second times arrived and then a third etc. They became addicted and me too. It was an incredible experience.

But two months after we started, it was impossible for the couple to have sex without me. Not because i was the one and only but cause the situation - the threesome - created something new, something stronger than they ever known. Last but not least, make sure the feelings, the feelings which bind you to your partner, remain inside the couple.


If you're ok with that, you gonna enjoy something really different and unique

adrenalin said:

Have you seen Indecent Proposal? Even though it is a movie it makes sense. I have seen non-jealous folks loose it after a threesome. Especially, if you are insecure and have a chink in your trust armour.

I got two lovers & I'm not ashame.....
Two lovers & I love them both the same.....
[Edited 3/2/05 20:06pm]

TO each their own.

I've always been astounded that just becuase you're not comfortable with doing it in your own life, you think it's o.k. to deny someone else the chance to fullfill themselves.

AsianBoi777 said:

Who's denying them anything?

animal said:

EXACTLY

Don't do it. I had a threesome in my previous relationship and even though he said "let's do it once", he kept bringing it up at every turn. It made me feel inadequate. My opinion is that you don't bring a third person into a marriage. Someone will regret it.

adrenalin said:

That's great that you both know where you stand on this and are comfortable with it! I say, if it looks like all systems are go, it can't hurt to give it a try.

can't say it appeals to me. not inside the sanctity of our marriage. wouldn't share him with anyone!

TheOrgerFormerlyKnownAs said:

It was not the he that brought it up ,it was the she,if we do it once, or 100 times,she would allways have to bring it up,I would never disrespect and bring it up to her.

jizzinparis said:

I do not believe we will make a lifestyle out of it,just an experiment, well mabey once,or twice a year on special occ. the last line of your post really gives me exictement, avd insperation, that is all we want to do is enjoy something different,and unique together

WELL, MOST OF YOU SAY NO , SOME SAY YES.I DO NOT KNOW IF IT IS GOING TO TAKE PLACE 100% , BUT IF IT IS , THIS WEEKEND WILL BE THE TIME.WE ARE GOING TO A STRIP CLUB OUT OF TOWN, NOT A SKANK ONE , BUT VERRY UPSCALE . THIS IS THE PLACE WE MAY FIND OUR 3RD PARTY , THAT WAY NO TIES, NO CALLS, JUST ONE EROTIC NIGHT ,ANYWAY THATS WHAT I AM SHOOTING FOR I WILL UPDATE ON MONDAY, OR TUESDAY. WISH US LUCK ON THE DARK SIDE