finds out that a woman is interested in a relationship with him
but he never says that he is interested in her or wants a relationship
but turns around and flirts with her and asks her to make him dinner sometime?

In other words he KNOWS how she feels, but he doesn't share how he feels about her but SUGGESTS that he is interested, but doesn't SAY it.

I means he knows there's a big possibility he can have some pussy, hence the date thing. Of course it's not PC and people will bring up lots of other possibilities such as him not knowing for sure or being afraid or perhaps wanting to get to know you better first. 90% chance I'm right though.

Means he only wants sex.

he has to say it.suggesting is not enough its just a tease. just outright ask him if he's interested. if he doesn't give you a straight answer then you know.

Chico1 said:

Wow, someone else at the org who's not afraid to speak the truth!

i would proceed with caution...and tell hime that u want him to take u out to dinner!!!

Chico1 said:

true

Stax said:

Gotta agree.

y b so sarcastic, maybe he does like her and he doesn't like expressing himself. Maybe he wants 2 take it slow without the baggage of talking about mushy feelings and wants 2 date first and then see if the feelings r their on his part aswell, eye mean how can u talk about feelings if u haven't dated yet

a. first, date a couple of months
b. then talk about feelings

u told him u had feelings already, how? u haven't dated yet. Ur a step ahead, maybe going 2 fast??
[Edited 2/26/05 21:01pm]

The main difference between a man like me that women consider a good guy and a user, cad, heartbreaker or whatever like someof my friends is due to our ability to be clear about our intentions like all men.

If you've seen the remake of Alfie with Jude Law for example, you know just how quickly things can turn ugly when you pretend to offer something you can't or don't want to.

As a result, many guys flirt and approach flings like they're something more serious, either because that's how they're used to proceeding, or because they think the only way they will be able to get what they want, casual sex , is by appearing to give women what they think she wants. Something akin to a boyfriend.

Being a bit of a little player myself at university, I know that there are many women out there looking for something casual. And none of these girls I'm pretty sure were looking to be misled.

As a man (and maybe I'm speaking for women too), I think there's a delicate balance between letting someone sexually fantasize to some degree about you, and leading them on with actions and words that convey something other or more than what I feel. I know I'd appreciate, if not the whole truth, at least not being lied to and being made a fool of if someone was interested in me and vice versa.

So the key lies not only in what you say, but in what you do, because actions, especially for players, speak louder than words. But even more importantly than the what, is how and when you say and make your various moves as a man. Like this guy you speak of might be doing.

cuntroversial said:

I actually almost tend to probably agree with you here in all likelihood.

RaneStarr said:

I don't think people are being sarcastic. If a man is interested in you, he'll say it. It doesn't have to be "mushy feeling" talk, especially before even a first date. A simple "I'm interested in you too" would suffice.
And I can't imagine dating someone I was interested in a relationship with for a couple of months without knowing where is affections, or at the very least his intentions, lie.

DenverMoon said:

It means he's married.

well eye guess eye'm wrong since everyone seems 2 b on the same page...

RaneStarr said:

Yes, you are

He's basically saying, "I'll fuck you if you let me." He ain't interested, not in you as a person




.
[Edited 2/27/05 8:34am]

HA!

He asks her to make him dinner sometime... it would have been
much kinder if he would have asked her out to dinner, or can I
cook you dinner sometime... That is a show of interest.

Selfish, selfish.

sag10 said:

My thoughts exactly.

He's Just Not That Into You.

tackam said:

CalhounSq said:

But he wouldn't mind getting into your underwear.

OK, this is the problem with a lot of women, and why men are scared off by them.


Maybe he's shy and wants things to develop slowly. Women tend to want men to rush into the soap opera drama of "love", when all the man wants is companionship and fun.

I'd suggest that this woman try not to ruin the friendship she already has with this man by being too aggressive, and let things happen in their own time. That's not to say that she can't tell him how she feels in a direct and honest way. But make sure it's done in a friendly way.

RaneStarr said:

I hear what you are saying, but there is a flip side to it as well.
i mean you can be friends with the opposite sex and then find that you start to like them, and thats is probably what she is talking about when she saids "she has feelings for him".

But if this guy is not showing any interest, or at least asking her out, then he isn't interested in her, just her panties.

My advice to you DenverMoon is:

if this guy is a good friend, then just continue being friends with him, otherwise, move on. if he really liked you, there would be no reason for you to doubt his feelings for you. Crossing the friendship line is not a good idea at this point.

well since everyone's comments seem to be negative I am going to have to face the music thanks everyone

gemini13 said:

I don't think she's being asked to be aggressive, just realistic. Sure, continue the friendship & flirting if she likes. But know that if he was interested in getting to know you as a person he wouldn't come w/ something as lame as "make me dinner" He's interested in getting his needs met & he's made that clear. If she can handle that & just wants to "kick it", cool. But if she wants anything more from this dude she's not likely to get it.

I'm so dissapointed because he gives off the impression that he's this shy great guy. He just behaves like Mr. Innocent, thats why I doubted he was trying to use me - Why I gave him the bennefit of the doubt.

But I know that I'm wrong now. I'm so sad about it though. I wish I was a lesbian so I wouldn't have to deal with men he's such a jerk

DenverMoon said:

No need for drama girl! Now that you know have an idea of where his head is just decide if you want to deal w/ him or not & know that it may never develop into anything beyond casual fucking. That doesn't make him a jerk, it makes him a guy

Means he's a manwhore!

I realize that men have women that they mess with on the side when their single and these women are just for f'ing. But when the man knows how u feel about him and that you are NOT that type of person and he claims to be a friend to you, he should not play games and go fuck with them ho's, and respect me.

DenverMoon said:

That's what a lot of people do, try to get over on you if you let them.