I like this guy he's really cute. We have a few things in common: he plays guitar (I'm learing) he's a music major (I am a musician and I love music) and he's smart (ummm....). He's kinda muscular (not LL Cool J muscles but a little less overwhelming.) Anyway he's a total cutie and I actually feel like I could date him with no problem but I don't wanna move too fast. At this point I obviously know that I'm gonna have to get to know him better but beside that I don't want to get hurt. Any advice besides "go for it" and "find someone else" for me?

Invite him out for coffee (you can do it)

Move at your own pace. Go out with him a few times to study his habits. Eventually you'll know if he's right for you. At that point, just go with the flow and if he feels the same for you, then you're good to go.

No one wants to get hurt, but sometimes you have to take a chance, otherwise you'll never know. And if you do get hurt, then get over it and find the next guy. That's how life goes.

Teighgirl33 said:

As you said, get to know him a little better before you make your move. If you don't want to get hurt, try to ascertain where his standards lie, whether he's a nice guy who you'd want to share your heart with. You can't do any more than this but at least you'll know whether he's an asshole or not.

Sometimes even the nice ones end up hurting you but, as EWM said, all you can do in that case is to move on.

Good luck!

i say.....go for it. ya never know...maybe he's the one.

Be yourself, and enjoy the time you have together, and hopefully both of you will want to enjoy more time in each others company.

Teighgirl33 said:

flirt a little, see what he does. pay attention to what he says and asks. When someone likes someone they ask questions about their life/lifestyle, who they be with, family, school, friends, hobbies. Sometimes they do it in a slick way so you don't notice, so be quick and smart and stay on ur toes

DenverMoon said:

Some will flirt back regardless though.

Time will tell whether or not he's interested. She just needs to spend as much time with him as he allows her and talk about all sorts of stuff like childhood, friends, work, hobbies, relationships and how they see the future.

Just be friendly, get him talking, but play it cool. The coffee is pretty good. Do you know any of his friends? Maybe you can discretely get some info, like if he's seeing anyone.
[Edited 2/26/05 20:07pm]

Try being his friend first. Your thinking process is moving WAYYYYY too fast. You don't even KNOW this guy. Don't let the way he looks fool you into thinking that he's a "dream guy". I learned that lesson the hard way.

gemini13 said:

i agree. just hang with him for a while until you really know what he's about. You don't even know if this guy is a serial killer or something. Ask him questions about himself, feel him out first before saying prematurely that you "like him". Looks don't really matter if his personality is completely full of shit.

gemini13 said:

gemini13 said:

Thank you for that. I'm not trying to move to fast or anything. I'm just mentally trying to figure out how I will approach this situation. Keep it comin on the great advice. I'll probably need it for the future too.

You mentioned that you have a few things in common. Since you're learning to play the guitar and he's a lready a guitar player, strike up a conversation about that. Ask him for a few pointers. He might even be flattered that you aksed him, people like to feel knowledgable. You both also have a love of music, you can probably talk endlessly about that. While you're talking you can slide some personal questions in there without being too obvious. He might even volunteer the information you're seeking.
You won't know if there's anything there on his end unless you talk to him. Maybe he feels the same way and you just don't know it because he doesn't give any indication.