right now, i am slowly dying.
i recently discovered that my best friend, who i love with all my heart, has cancer- bone cancer. its killing me 4 several reasons: 1)she has had somehting wrong with her leg 4 at least 7 months and they just now figured out what the fuck it was 2)this is her 2nd semester of her senior year 3)she will have 2 b gone 4 6-8 months up in seattle and i have no way of seeing her...
i just feel like i cant do anything cause i cant be there 2 support her...i tell u, i spent at least an hour the other night on the verge of tears. i think im sad and angry at the same time. at least i can email her, its just not the same as talking u know.

i have never felt so helpless, and i tell u, i would do anything 2 make it me in that situation instead of her.

what am i gonna do...?

darlinkia said:

Oh sweetie....that is so sad. What you're gonna do is be the best friend you can be. It's scary and it sucks and it hurts. Just don't let yourself get too scared to be there for her. Big, massive hugs for both of you.

Just be a friend at heart, and talk to her on the phone whenever you can.
Wishing health for her and all

If you need a place to stay in Seattle, let me know. . .

darlinkia said:

The best thing you can do for her and for you is just be there when she needs you.
for you both

sounds old fashioned i know, but write her letters!

it's something physical you can hold on to and she can read them and re-read them when she feels like it. hopefully she will write you back... it allows you to pour out your feelings on to paper. talk on the phone and email too... but nothing beats getting a letter from someone you care about.

it won't be easy, but that's why you are friends... because it isn't always laughter and goodtimes.

mdiver said:

Agreed. May the Lord grant her and you strength through this. Hang in there.

hang in there, and my prayers are with you

I'm so sorry about your friend.

I agree with the above comments about just being there for her as much as you can be emotionally: do what you can to keep her spirits up, to help keep her motivated to do what she must to get through this, be her sounding board if she needs to vent or cry or whatever to release & express all the feelings she will undoubtedly experience in the future as she tackles this challenge. Also, be patient with her if she ever seems cross with you for no reason or just in general...believe me, she's going to have a lot of difficult emotions to sort through and deal with regarding what she's going through now/what she will be going through and sometimes that - coupled with feeling physically ill - makes a person not always so pleasant to be around or to understand, but she's going to really need all the support and strength she can muster from within herself and from those near to her and who love her.

You sound like a WONDERFUL, caring friend to her and she's very blessed to have you right now.

As for your being unable to actually be with her right now, I agree with the above suggestion to write her letters. Emails are nice and are convenient, but there's something so special and comforting about holding that piece of paper and seeing actual handwriting, not to mention how it brightens a person's day to find a letter waiting for them in their mailbox. You can make your letters really cheerful and fun, too, besides being supportive - some ideas:
a. find colorful, cheerful stationery to write on, use fun stickers or things to decorate the envelope, etc.
b. If you run across pictures in a magazine or an article somewhere that you think she'd enjoy or find interesting, you can cut them out and send them with your letter/s.
c. Get those cheap disposable cameras and take lots of photographs of things..mutual friends, photos of places you two would go together and had fun at, or just whatever things/people/places/objects you think she might enjoy. Pictures like that can really help a person's morale and cheer them up, not to mention they will remind her of fun, happy times you two shared and WILL SHARE AGAIN, plus it's always good to see pictures of friendly faces that you are far away from at the moment.

Another idea is you could make her audiocassette or (if you have a video camera) video letters. It might feel weird at first to talk into a tape recorder or videocamera, but getting those cassette letters from you where she can actually hear your voice or see you will really make her smile, I guarantee it.

I know how helpless and frustrated you are feeling now. But be strong, your friend is going to need that strength.

Again - you're a wonderful friend. I hope you'll keep us abreast of your friend's situation. I'm sending her (and YOU) all the positive thoughts I can.

BCorgman said:

SAME...

Let her know that although you may be separated by distance, you will be there for her to talk to any time, day or night. Sometimes the most someone can give you is their time, and it's the most precious gift of all.

... and call on your other friends to support you through this too. It's a tough thing to go through and you'll need to be able to vent at times too.

God bless
x

thanks 2 all of u 4 ur luv and support and wonderful ideas. it all is really appreciated!!! i think this is 1 of the most difficult things i have had 2 go through.

question...how far of a drive away is bellevue from seattle? (cause apparently that is where my friend is staying 4 right now)





spelling edit
[Edited 2/14/05 23:58pm]

Call everyday, say I love you always and pray your heart out for release and peace of mind.

darlinkia said:

Bellevue is on the other side of a large lake, and the bridges that go over it are busy during commuter hours, but it's actually quite close. I live on the Seattle side of the bridge nearest Bellevue, and it takes me about 15 minutes to get there when there is no traffic. Can take more than an hour in bad traffic.

Really, let me know if I can help somehow.

I agree that letter writing is the best, they can be held on2 in times of need.
Also, consider IM (instant messaging) It is free on Yahoo and MSN and probably others I haven't heard of. My prayers are 4 u both

tackam said:

thank u...ur 2 sweet




its been over a week and i still havent heard from her


this is making it hard 4 me 2 concentrate on my school work