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This is for all the str8 guys.... **DISCLAIMER**
The views expressed in this post are not nesessarily my own, Read at your own risk. **** ***** **** "This is getting to be too much. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world! Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the "Retrosexual movement". The Code: A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit the term only because they are female. A Retrosexual DEALS WITH IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking scotch, I salute you. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals only need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods). A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "DEALING WITH IT" portion of The Code. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness to get women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear. Guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot. There are very few reasons when a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is cussing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets), or loss of a major body part. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress. NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i. e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT! I am proud to say that i am never unsure of my manliness and I dont need to take ANY online test to know that I am 100% Retrosexual."  | |
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Nikster said: **DISCLAIMER**
The views expressed in this post are not nesessarily my own, Read at your own risk. **** ***** **** "This is getting to be too much. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world! Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the "Retrosexual movement". The Code: A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit the term only because they are female. A Retrosexual DEALS WITH IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking scotch, I salute you. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals only need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods). A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "DEALING WITH IT" portion of The Code. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness to get women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear. Guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot. There are very few reasons when a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is cussing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets), or loss of a major body part. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress. NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i. e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT! I am proud to say that i am never unsure of my manliness and I dont need to take ANY online test to know that I am 100% Retrosexual."  Good for you hun  | |
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48 veiws
2 posts one from a girl. 
where are all the str8 guys? Fuck the funk - it's time to ditch the worn-out Vegas horns fills, pick up the geee-tar and finally ROCK THE MUTHA-FUCKER!! He hinted at this on Chaos, now it's time to step up and fully DELIVER!!
KrystleEyes 22/03/05 | |
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muirdo said: 48 veiws
2 posts one from a girl.
where are all the str8 guys? You won't be giving up your seat on the bus. Not unless you've got a cushion to cover your lap! | |
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The writer complains of categorising when that's exactly what they are doing! | |
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Nikster said: **DISCLAIMER**
The views expressed in this post are not nesessarily my own, Read at your own risk. **** ***** **** "This is getting to be too much. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world! Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the "Retrosexual movement". The Code: A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit the term only because they are female. A Retrosexual DEALS WITH IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking scotch, I salute you. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals only need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods). A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "DEALING WITH IT" portion of The Code. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness to get women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear. Guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot. There are very few reasons when a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is cussing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets), or loss of a major body part. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress. NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i. e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT! I am proud to say that i am never unsure of my manliness and I dont need to take ANY online test to know that I am 100% Retrosexual." I'm with ya bro - it's just not that important 2 me. To each his fucking own. | |
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 One here | |
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The Retrosexual man is the preeminent destroyer of planet earth. A man whose complete self-worth is dictated by his ability to earn income. A man who buries emotion so that he can present a front seen as strength. A man who has endangered every species, including his own. A man who subordinates women and makes her believe its flattery. The Retrosexual man is only concerned about POWER. A Retrosexual man with POWER will convince one with out that he is the embodiment of Retrosexualness, after convincing him, he’ll send him to kill a whole bunch of Non-Retrosexual’s for the sake of his own profits. A Retrosexual man with POWER will convince a Retrosexual without that he’s just as Retrosexual as him. A Retrosexual with out power will pine for the time when Retrosexuals were Retrosexuals.. The single embodiment of Retrosexuality is the actor John Wayne; a man who simulated the death of hundreds of people in his movies The Retrosexual man thinks Fox News is fair and balanced. The Retrosexual would like to see the retro-i-zation of certain laws and rights obtained by Non-Retrosexuals.
The views expressed in this post are my own opinion. The person who wrote this is a bitch whose ass I would kick.  It’s seems pretty clear that the author is against a particular lifestyle.
A wanna be tough guy said: Every time my TV is on How bout reading a book. foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui
Xenophobe bogus definitions have taken over the urban and
suburban world! The Retrosexual seemingly still lives in the sticks a new offensive in the culture wars
I think it’s obvious what kind of person wrote this, that’s one of their code words. Culture War [Edited 2/13/05 14:59pm] | |
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So the flower arrangement is right out then? | |
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"This is getting to be too much. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual - bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world! Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture wars, the "Retrosexual movement". The Code: A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE. A Retrosexual man opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit the term only because they are female. A Retrosexual DEALS WITH IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT. A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself. A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking scotch, I salute you. A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals only need an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods). A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30 years old. A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "DEALING WITH IT" portion of The Code. A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on national TV. A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness to get women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it. A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you. A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey. A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot. A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are. A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear. Guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot. There are very few reasons when a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is cussing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets), or loss of a major body part. When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face. A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress. NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country. A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner. A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i. e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance. A Retrosexual man can drive in snow without sliding all over or driving under 20mph, without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride in a snow bank. A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. Wherever it lands is where he darn well wanted it to land. A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or the other person deceived him. A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT! I am proud to say that i am never unsure of my manliness and I dont need to take ANY online test to know that I am 100% Retrosexual." The guy who wrote this calls himself Graumagus and his site is http://www.frizzensparks.com/, his retrosexual code has been spreading all over the net, the content doesn't seem extreme, but here are some of his links.  http://www.hilldabeast.com/
http://www.metrospy.com/ 
http://www.georgewbush.com/blog/ 
http://www.blogsforbush.com/ A seemingly benign commentary like the The Retrosexual Code can spread all over the internet and end up in a General Discussion Boards, but it is really part of a disguised right wing agenda. | |
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JDINTERACTIVE said: The writer complains of categorising when that's exactly what they are doing! Thats exactly what sprang to my mind too. Retrosexual basically means being old fashioned. Thats it! Why the fuck did I read this? | |
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Uhhh...I posted this as a joke. | |
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OK .   Jeux Sans Frontiers | |
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Macho guys. 
Gimme a dude who's sporting eyeliner over a lumberjack any day of the week!  "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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The retrosexual man needs a goddamn uppercut. ~ I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR ~
| |
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A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe
designed to conceal himself from prey. Although I must admit, this rule does apply to my entire wardrobe. ~ I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR ~
| |
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meow85 said: Macho guys.
Gimme a dude who's sporting eyeliner over a lumberjack any day of the week! What if the lumberjack is sporting eyeliner?? | |
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Nikster said: meow85 said: Macho guys.
Gimme a dude who's sporting eyeliner over a lumberjack any day of the week! What if the lumberjack is sporting eyeliner?? I love this thread NIKSTER and I'm gay. I read off the requirements of a retrosexual to a co-worker. She wants to know if she can get one on EBAY. 
[Edited 2/17/05 15:39pm] [Edited 2/17/05 15:39pm] MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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I am joyful 2 say my man is 100% ALL MAN !!!!
Be Joyful Be Joyful | |
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RhondaJoyDiva said: I am joyful 2 say my man is 100% ALL MAN !!!!
Be Joyful well there u have it, baby. all man over here. my beloved says so, and i'm a pretty motha f@%ka good fun nikster!!!
always smiling, james aaron | |
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This description fits me to well, about 85%. For a minute there you had me feeling ashamed that I'm straight. But I’m tolerant so you should be to. I am old fashion because I do open doors for ladies, my wife never pumps gas, she never has to wash her car or do any type of maintenance on it, I’m a 6’3” black man that don’t mind flexin’ when I have to, I was an airborne infantry soldier that was well trained in weaponry of all sorts, I keep some 12 year old scotch on hand at all times, I wear wingtips to the office and all my pants have pleats and cuffs.
On the other hand I like cooking, interior design and architecture I know how to match my clothes, I’m compassionate and a good listener which was proven when my daughter decided to come out she confided in me. Stereo-types of any kind are bad. | |
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CptMorgan said: This description fits me to well, about 85%. For a minute there you had me feeling ashamed that I'm straight. But I’m tolerant so you should be to. I am old fashion because I do open doors for ladies, my wife never pumps gas, she never has to wash her car or do any type of maintenance on it, I’m a 6’3” black man that don’t mind flexin’ when I have to, I was an airborne infantry soldier that was well trained in weaponry of all sorts, I keep some 12 year old scotch on hand at all times, I wear wingtips to the office and all my pants have pleats and cuffs.
On the other hand I like cooking, interior design and architecture I know how to match my clothes, I’m compassionate and a good listener which was proven when my daughter decided to come out she confided in me. Stereo-types of any kind are bad. The description fits you 85%, you say, but Man you are 110% man. BE PROUD. It's great to hear there are men like you around. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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meow85 said: Macho guys.
Gimme a dude who's sporting eyeliner over a lumberjack any day of the week! 
 I know the truth now
I know who you are And I don't love you anymore | |
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lecoq said: meow85 said: Macho guys.
Gimme a dude who's sporting eyeliner over a lumberjack any day of the week!
 "A Watcher scoffs at gravity!" | |
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