Picture This:

Tonight, Isten decides he needs a new stash of hairgel.
Gets in his car, drives down to the local drugstore and
stocks up on 3 tubes of gel and wax.

At the cash register the shop attendant eyes me with a
look that's a cross between "retart" and "lab rat" and
says:


"Have you got a coupon? These are € 1,50 off each"


so I respond "no, I don't have a coupon, sadly"




"Well then" the ratface sniggers "no discount for you"


and proceeds to hammer the tubes of gel and wax onto
her magic eye like some dumb tithead



so I inform "well, don't you have your latest brochure
lying around here, the one with the coupons in it? if
so, I will take one of those and fill out 3 coupons if
you've got a minute".

after her brain assessed the situation and decided that
I had used too many 3 syllable words, the machinery in
her crackpot brain rattled for a minute and spat out the
eloquent


"No"


"No what?". My nipples started to ache at this point so
I said "Well alright then I'll just have them without a
discount".




"Your choice if you want to pay € 4,50 too much"




Telling the story to my best friend, she tells me that
if you want the discount and haven't got the coupon,
they have got a special complete RACK with all of the
latest coupons in it, which you can take and fill out
for free, as many as you want.

My face went

So this meant the coniving rodent girl had just conned
me out of € 4,50!

The broad was still at the cash register, looking out
of the window with a dazed and confused look.







I went up to her, and stood there, waiting for her to
acknowledge my presence. But it seemd as if she had
lapsed into "economy mode" and was only to be shaken
out of it by me commenting

"Hi, I just bought this as you might remember and now
someone tells me you have coupons right here that you
are supposed to give me so that I can have my discount
so why didn't you tell me? now I payed € 4,50 too much
for my products".


"Well" she snaps back "now you know for next time, don't
you eh".

[combust]takes a deep breath[/combust]

So I yelled for the manager.

The manager comes up, whom I think might have been the
girl's father or lover, or not very unlikely both, and
asks what's the matter.

So I tell him the girl has been rather rude and that I
want my flippin' discount now




"Oh" stammers this jack-ass laughingly "but you don't
seem to understand".

"we do have these coupons, yes, see, here is the rack
on which they are all displayed. And you are correct,
if you fill one out, we will give you the discount".




Yes, well, rocket science. So why the hell am I here,
begging for a discount?

"Because" he whines "we are not allowed to give you
the coupons, you have to take them yourself".

"if you do not take a coupon out of the rack and fill
it out on your own, we can give you no discount".




Only after threatening to drop my pants in their store
and yell bloody murder did he decide I looked about a
nutter enough to go through with it and gave me back
my € 4,50.

After which the tithead at the register said "but you
still have to fill out the coupons now!"



I told them, next time one of their fcking coupons is
delivered to my house, I will proceed to whipe my ass
with it and neetly come and deliver it to the manager
in person.

That's the only coupon I will ever fill out ever again!

I must say

I you, I honestly don't know anyone apart from you and I who have so many things going wrong right now



I'm not alone

oh and you should have made the manager eat the bloody coupon



deep breaths honey

why do you share???

abierman said:

why do you ask?

you don't happen to be the manager I just verbaly assaulted?

do you?

lollyp0procks said:

no, we're not alone.....

IstenSzek said:

no man, that would have been too funny!

IstenSzek said:

I'm glad you share it makes me feel slightly more "normal"

abierman said:

are you sure ???

tiffiny said she thinks we are alone now

lollyp0procks said:

it's at least 3 of us.....Tiffany is in for a surprise now!

ok wait lemme sort this out

1st u get attacked by Hellchild
2nd ya car gets the shit smashed out of it
3rdly u get fucked with no vaseline on a discount


only u Isten... Only u

Thanks for the story Isten.

If you kill anyone, I better get to help.

TheRealFiness said:

I think I must have been a very naughty boy in a
previous life. My bad-karma stamp book must have
been full to the brim by the time I hit puberty.

abierman said:

I just think she needs glasses did you see what she wore on her album cover



our day will come

lollyp0procks said:

one day we will be the ones holding the coupons!

omg, what bastards those two are! i used to work at a walgreens (drug store chain here in the states) and whenever there was something on sale that you needed a coupon for, if a customer didn't have a coupon we actually either:

1) went to one of the racks and got a coupon and scanned it in, or
2) had coupons cut out and ready-made to scan just in case

why didn't they do the same thing????

IstenSzek said:

and then we will find out they expired the day before just when we think we are the winners

abierman said:

I need to hear more stories like this. I think most people put up with others crap too much.

I LOVE the way you write, Isten.

It sounds irritating as hell, but it was friggin HIGHlarious to read!

superspaceboy said:

really, I wouldn't know where to start when it comes to things going wrong or me fucking up.....

... you guys need club cards there if you dont already have them.

and the girl and her father aka lover prolly high fived and did a 3 stooges type dance when you left.

Christopher said:

no comment

Christopher said:

Awww...flipper babies.

=

subhuman09 said:

remember that fish on the simpsons with 3 eyes?

Christopher said:

Blinky!



Gotta love Blinky-Mr. Burns thought he was delicious of course-quite an aerodynamic food shot.

abierman said:

subhuman09 said:

lol didnt they have a fish that had tha science guys head?

Christopher said:

I think so!

Weird stuff.



(Maybe Tony could help?)

subhuman09 said:

he already helped enough! he sent a demo of the new theme song...which sampled his rap from my name is prince...it didnt work out.

Christopher said:

Can you be sued for ripping off yourself?

subhuman09 said:

not really...but let him enjoy thinking so.