She's been uber sensitive the past 4 months and jumps down my throat whenever she doesn't agree with me. Today she wanted to argue about tea , yes, I said TEA... and I wasn't having it. I made the "reoww" cat fight noise and told her to settle down. Now she's "hurt" and went running to the boss.

So what do I do. Do I just snub her and eat breakfast and lunch somewhere else so I don't have to deal with it, or do we go head on for the full out arguement? Thing is...she's very good friends with the boss outside of work...

If it was me, I'd say "fuck her and her inability to interact"

that's just me though

I kind of enjoy arguing, so give it to her.

I doubt you would get fired over it.

Kick her ass!!!

Just kidding.
Talk to the boss. Maybe the boss knows what her problem is.

Hhmmm tough situation ...

would an honest calm talk about how you feels towards her be good ? explain you dont wanna cat fight about every litle thing that blows her skirt up ?

anyway ... good luck with working that out hun

ahhh I am so glad I dont work wtih girls anymore....


I would just let it rest, or ask her to go to lunch together and talk calmly, especially if she is the bosses friend

gemini13 said:

The boss already came in to talk to me. I told her how I felt and she just kinda stood there not saying anything. It's like everyone is afraid to voice their opinions around this woman cuz she'll just jump down your throat. She's in her 60's, she's an old nit pickity woman and I'm not gonna let her boss me around and tell me how to think. Everyone else shys away and says "oh, you're right"

I'm tired of it. I wouldn't get fired if I duked it out with her but something tells me that if I just ignore her it's gonna make her even more upset and right now I think that will make me feel better! It may not be right, but I"m fuming right now and I may say something I'll regret later.

I would say smooth things over by saying something like: "Sorry...I didn't mean to offend you earlier...I hope things are ok." And be diplomatic and civil to her at work...but, limit your time spent with her outside of work.
You didn't do anything wrong, but sometimes you have to play the game to keep things sane for yourself.

CarrieLee said:

Man, I wish I could work with you for just one day. I'd set that bitch straight for you. You know what makes people really angry? Just laugh at them. Laugh at her when she starts yelling at you. Tell her you don't have time to argue about idiotic things, and then laugh, shake your head, and walk away from her. No need to stoop to her obviously lowlife level.

You have to day to day interaction with her, so you might as well NOT ignore her. That takes a lot of energy, too. And with her being friends with your boss - be cautious.
I would talk to her after I simmered down some. You're probalby still too angry to talk to her without it possibly getting ugly. If you do talk to her, try talking to her in "I feel..." terms, instead of "You make me feel..."
That way, she won't feel like you're attacking her.
Also, she may be the kind you need to kill with kindness.
Good luck.

If all that fails, tell her to have a look at your avatar!

gemini13 said:

Haha!! I've known so many people like that. I mean come on, it's just work. You go, do what you can, then leave. Have fun, shit!!!! If not then it's time to look for something else.

Miguel

In a way, I'm relating, Carrie! There's one woman I work with who's always playing up the fact that she's "almost 60" and "can't keep up" so that she can get away with being a total bitch to everyone when things are hectic in the clinic. Then when things calm down, she acts like nothing happened, or she talks about how hard she's got it all of the time.

She retires in 2 yrs, so she's holding on till then. At one of our meetings her bad attitude was brought up, and many people said, "well, that's just Julie, you just have to joke around with her". I was like, "I'm not gonna kiss the ass of someone who treats me like shit! If I treated people the way she does, I'd be fired!"

Her supervisor acknowledged ot me that she has received complaints from clients, volunteers, staff, everyone, about this person and she has just put off having a "talk" with her. I think because of her age, people feel sorry for her (although there are several others at the clinic her age who don't behave that way!)

I would give her a Purple Nurple

Stax said:

Stax said:

Yeah yeah yeah do that to her

AnotherLoverToo said:

Isn't it frustrating? Ugh, I don't know why everyone backs down from her, especially my boss. It's quite pathetic.

I won't apologize because I did nothing wrong. And I won't be the first to approach her either. It's probably a good thing because I"m tired of all the gossip at the breakfast table anyway. From now on I"m going to get my tea and go to my office and do my work. They can sit in there for an hour to gossip, bitch and moan. I want no part of it.

Thanks for all your responses guys.

applekisses said:

But that's what EVERYONE does, so we get nowhere and it just continues. She needs to just stop.

CarrieLee said:

But, if you are the one to make her stop...will you get fired? Will your boss treat you differently?
I totally understand where you're coming from...but, sometimes at work we have to decide whether or not things will be better if we rock the boat.

AnotherLoverToo said:

I dont know if it is related to age but I taught a woman who was in her fifties..she would constantly undermine me in the class and mutter things to other students. I know it made the others feel uncomortable too. She had this notion in her head that because I was younger than her I couldn't possibly teach her anything. She had a problem with the whole teacher student dynamic.

I bent over backwards to accomodate her, not wanting to treat her any differently from the other students despite her behaviour. When the course was over I didn't have to see her again. I felt guilty, thinking It was my responsibility and that it was my job to make things better.

applekisses said:

I won't be the one to make her stop, maybe make her stop and think a little but she'll never stop being the way she is. And it's only gonna make me more aggrivated so I'm just not even gonna try to have conversations with her anymore. I'll do my thing, she can do hers.

Lleena said:

This really doesn't have anything to do with age, she's just a little knit pickity ya know...like an old lady. I can't really describe her personality to you guys but there are a lot of factors that are making her like this. She gets walked on at home by her children and then comes here and takes it out on us. She's just miserable and I want no part of her.

CarrieLee said:

I dont know why she runs to the boss everytime instead of discussing any issues with you. anyway, at the end of the day it is his responsibility to sort out any problems amongst his staff. That's one of the duties of being a boss! damn! You shouldn't have to deal with it. I would talk to him and tell him how you feel and that he should talk her as it is affecting the working atmosphere.

As for her, it seems that her problems at home are spilling over to her job and she needs to talk to your boss too.

I would wait to see what he does about it.

she sounds like a grumpy English granny, we have plenty of those. Send her over here, she'll be right at home.
We can moan about the weather together over tea.

I'll adopt her
[Edited 2/7/05 10:58am]

I am in my fifties, and honey, I wouldn't want anyone to allow me to treat them that way..

CarrieLee you express yourself.. This Boss, friendship things sucks.

Lleena said:

My boss is kissing her ass right now. I can't even believe it. Whatever, there's nothing I can do. I already told my boss that this woman needs to seperate her home life from work life and to stop taking it out on us here. She just nodded and didn't say anything. There's nothing I can do, especially not today so I'm not gonna worry about it. I'm just gonna keep to myself and spend more time online than at the breakfast table

next time she starts argueing...simply say

"No offense, But I think we should just agree that we disagree. I really don't want to argue or debate this subject as I am really busy and I seem to say things that hurt your feelings. We can talk about something else, but I have to ask you that we keep our conversations neutral. Please try not to take this the wrong way. How was your weekend?"

Good idea to ignore her, Carrie..

When she says why aren't you talking to me, blast her with the truth.

superspaceboy said:

I've tried the "agree to disagree" thing months ago. She can't let it go.

CarrieLee said:

Ah...she baits for an arguement? Don't give her any. Try not to anyway. The moment she starts to argue...just say. "Oh I never thought of it that way." Or something that gives her nothing.

superspaceboy said:

She totally does. I'm just not gonna make myself available and stay away from her.

thanks for the advice

applekisses said:

This tends to work best, and if that doesn't help beat the bitch with a heavy teabag.