Here's the deal. I live in a house in Thailand with my wife, her parents, her brother, his girlfriend and their baby son. A while back when I was in England on holiday, my wife told me her mobile phone had gone missing. I just thought she'd lost it, as she is prone to losing things. A little while after she said 1000 baht had gone missing. She suspected her brother's gf had stolen it.

When I came back to Thailand I was suspicious about it, but still put it down to my wife losing stuff. I didn't want to accuse anyone of anything until I was sure. I like my brother in law and am always trying to help him out. When his son was born I paid for his hospital fees as he couldn't afford them, and when he's needed to borrow money I've lent it to him, charging no interest, and let him pay me back over the course of a year. We're always looking after their boy when they need us to, and regulary buy nappies and milk for him.

My brother in law works at a hotel as security and doesn't make much. His gf doesn't work and sleeps most of the time while my wife looks after the baby. When they get his pay at the end of the month it's usually all gone by the end of the first week of the month and they ask his mum to lend them some. I know they have money troubles, but still find it hard to believe this girl would steal from us.

However, recently my wife noticed some of our noodles were missing and asked the girl if she'd taken them. She said she'd bought them down the road at the store, but when my wife went there she found that they didn't sell them. Pretty innocuous, u might say, but when my wife asked her again she admitted she came into our room and took them without asking. Shortly after, a 100 baht note went missing. We went out for dinner for 2 hours and when we got back it had gone from my wife's bag. We had locked the door, but suspect she got a spare key from downstairs where my wife's mum keeps some keys.

Now it seems clear that she is stealing from us, and may well have stolen and pawned the mobile phone as well as taking the 1000 baht, last year. My other brother in law thinks we should borrow his video camera and set it up to catch her stealing from us. I think this may work, but I'm worried about what the consequences will be. I fear my wife's father will kick them both out of the house, and I worry about how they'll manage to take care of their baby.

What do u think I should do?

Is there any other possible way to confront her, possibly after you had taken video of something in progress? YOu are in a tough situation, Faux, and tthe greatest problem is that sometimes even video is not enough to compel a person to admit what is going on. ON the other hand, I would hate to see her use your nephew as a way to keep stealing from you without you acting to protect your valuables.

Kick her out now! Or report her to the police.

Confront her with it and ask her why she is doing it. Don't get angry, just try to find out what is wrong with her doing stuff like that.
I think she needs help. She probably feels really bad, not being able to take care of the baby herself and not having money to take care of her and her own.
To me it sounds like she's depressed and doesn't care about things that are important in live.

After you did that you could ask her to talk to your brother in law about it, together with you and your wife (but make sure it's not gonna be a fight, you have no need to be getting back at her for what she did, it's her own live she is destroying by doing things like that)

Just make her think about it and ask her why a mother of a sweet little baby wouldn't love herself and the people around her a little more. Ask her to get help!

Well, that's my humble opinion I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. I hope it will all turn out good.

spelling edit
[Edited 2/12/05 2:25am]

Whateva said:

For the most part, I agree with this...
However, I'm also inclined to agreeing on kicking her out.
You could still help out with the baby, if you want...but, you can't have her around taking advantage of your good nature.
As far as sleeping all day goes...well, unless it's because of a medical condition, I'd say she needs to smarten up with that and use that time to go look for work.
And...yes, to the video camera...

luv4u said:

I agree...it sounds cold, but if she can spend time sleeping instead of looking after her son it might be better for her to get off of her lazy ass and get a job instead of stealing from you.
You and your wife have been MORE than generous with your time and money...what a betrayal for her to do this to you.

Fauxie

Whateva said:

I agree...my brother...well you get the picture. I finally had to confront and ask him to leave but in the end it was better than worrying about the other consequences. Wish you well dealing with this...

Thanks everyone.

We've spoken to my wife's father and he is going to sit down and have a serious chat to them. I know he's fed up with her not doing anything around the house and hopefully if they realise he's serious about kicking them out they might buck up their ideas.

I think I will use the video camera, but won't confront them with it if I catch her unless it's absolutely necessary.

...
[Edited 2/12/05 22:59pm]

Just remember, if u gonna use a video camera, make sure it's hidden, or she may nick off with that as well

aww Fauxie... thats a drag ... but i hope the talk w/ the dad will have a good outcome





Fauxie

Mate, at the end of the day we are all responsible for our actions. I would confront them, preferrably with video evidence, let them know you know. Give them an ultimatum..if it happens once more then you blow the whistle and they have to live with the consequences. That way your conscience is clear but they have to live with what they have done.
Good luck mate.

mdiver said:

I like your solution.

HamsterHuey said:

Thanks mate