I sense fear in your post, and I have two theories about this....

A coworker of mine thought I would mesh with a friend of hers and we went out for the first time tonight and he analyzed every word that came out of my mouth. FOr example, I mentioned I as turning 30 this year and he said something like "I sense fear in your voice and I have two theories about that..."

After a few drinks, I said I was tired and ready to go. He insisited on walking me home (that was nice of him) and when he asked me if he could take me out again, I said I didn't think there was anything more there than a friendship. I extended my arm to shake his hand - I wanted to end the night on a polite note for the sake of my friend. So what happens? He freaks out on me! Starts analyzing (at the top of his lungs, by the way) why I decided I didn't want to pursue the "potential relationship" and said "I just don't have time for this" and walks away.

I was so riled up after that and came home and had a few glasses of wine so don't mind me. I'm just venting, babbling....I always feel like I"m the bad guy but I hate games and I felt that I did the right thing by being honest.
[Edited 2/3/05 20:14pm]

Gypsy, I've been on a few Blind Dates From Hell, too. However, from what it sounds like, this guy was just following a lot of bad habits that many men have:

1. Condescending you--that shit about "I have theories about that..." is him trying to sound like he's smarter than you. Many men HATE IT when a woman is smarter than them, so they stupid shit like that to make it appear that it's not the case.

2. The At-the-Door Freak Out--Men HATE rejection. It's like getting a kick in the balls. Men are pussies.

Anyway, sorry you had a bad time. I've been there.

Case said:

I can't quite agree with that....

1) Many men DO feel intimidated with an intelligent woman, I agree...but I didn't get the impression that her blind date was acting the way he did because of her intelligence. It could simply be a personality "quirk" about him...

2) I think both men AND women hate rejection...lol...being told in essence that you're not "good enough" hurts no matter what the gender...

Byron said:

i actually don't have anything to contribute here, i just wanted to list things in two as well...

1) this is the first line

2) this is the second

see how they are numbered? this is fun!

So, did you shag him?

Case said:

I can't quite agree with that....

1) Many men DO feel intimidated with an intelligent woman, I agree...but I didn't get the impression that her blind date was acting the way he did because of her intelligence. It could simply be a personality "quirk" about him...

2) I think both men AND women hate rejection...lol...being told in essence that you're not "good enough" hurts no matter what the gender...

So, did you shag him?

Thanks for all your feedback. Believe me I know rejection sucks - I've been there! But at the same time, why waste your time and theirs? Why say "i'll call you" if you really won't?

bkw said:

twice.

1) No, I still think it was a way of trying to be condescending or appear "deep." I've witnessed that ALOT with men, so I don't think it was just a "quirk." It's something that many, many, many men do.

2)Oh, yes...it's true that women get rejected too. But I think that when a woman rejects a man, the man takes it much harder than if it was vice-versa. Men are used to being dominant, in-charge and the Pursuer. When a woman tells a man "no," it's an afront to his masculinity and he feels threatened...so he acts like an ass. I've been rejected a few times in my life by women and I took it VERY HARD. In contrast, when I've been the Rejector...the women mostly take it fairly well...

A coworker of mine thought I would mesh with a friend of hers and we went out for the first time tonight and he analyzed every word that came out of my mouth. FOr example, I mentioned I as turning 30 this year and he said something like "I sense fear in your voice and I have two theories about that..."

After a few drinks, I said I was tired and ready to go. He insisited on walking me home (that was nice of him) and when he asked me if he could take me out again, I said I didn't think there was anything more there than a friendship. I extended my arm to shake his hand - I wanted to end the night on a polite note for the sake of my friend. So what happens? He freaks out on me! Starts analyzing (at the top of his lungs, by the way) why I decided I didn't want to pursue the "potential relationship" and said "I just don't have time for this" and walks away.

I was so riled up after that and came home and had a few glasses of wine so don't mind me. I'm just venting, babbling....I always feel like I"m the bad guy but I hate games and I felt that I did the right thing by being honest.
[Edited 2/3/05 20:14pm]

Case said:

1) He may have been condescending (not sure about that) or wanting to appear "deep" (that seems more likely), but I'm not convinced he was doing it because he didn't like feeling like she was more intelligent than he was...

2) There are tons of horror stories from both sides of the gender isle when it comes to rejection...lol

Byron said:

1)Ah. But I think that wanting to "appear deep" is a form of condescention. "Appearing deep" is basically a euphanism for "trying to look smarter than you."

2)We CERTAINLY agree on this one. I have many female friends who have literally been spat on by men when it comes to doing the dating thing.

I've never been on a blind date. (I'm talking pre-marriage of course).

I think it would be fun!

bkw said:

Fun? Not really. I once went on a blind date with a girl who chewed an entire pack of gum at once. No lie.

Case said:

What else could she fit in her mouth?

Look at the drunken married Aussies fantasizing about girls with big, drooly, gummy mouths!

Case said:

What else could she fit in her mouth?