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New alcohol warning labels I know these are stressful times, and it is altogether too easy
to turn to the bottle to help cope. It is in the spirit of caring friendship that I pass these reminders about the dangers of alcohol consumption on to you. Please do read them and try and keep them in mind. These new alcohol warnings are due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. _____ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. _____ WARNING: the crumsumpsion of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode | |
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Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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moderator [Edited 1/31/05 4:48am] | |
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Heavenly said:  That only makes me want to drink  Here you go Ariel
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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[Edited 1/31/05 4:48am] | |
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Ya cokeheads!!!  | |
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So all that's only supposed to happen when you're drunk?
 | |
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Well...I'm sure you'd have similar problems if you ate paint chips and salsa. | |
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Nikster said: Well...I'm sure you'd have similar problems if you ate paint chips and salsa.
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subhuman09 said: Nikster said: Well...I'm sure you'd have similar problems if you ate paint chips and salsa.
When you woke up this morning, your bra and panties were gone, weren't they?? | |
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Nikster said: subhuman09 said: When you woke up this morning, your bra and panties were gone, weren't they?? Sure, mine. | |
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subhuman09 said: Nikster said: When you woke up this morning, your bra and panties were gone, weren't they?? Sure, mine. ADDICT!  | |
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Nikster said: subhuman09 said: Sure, mine. ADDICT! | |
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. hmmm had experience of this one last night, i nearly got into my first EVER fight  and I'm sure she was alot bigger than me and meaner and all round scarier 
that will teach me until next time  | |
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