So, I'm at work right now and my self-review is due on Monday. I absolutely hate the process and I haven't found a whole lot of people who really like it. I think most people just throw theirs together and don't necessarily get what they're supposed to get out of it (ie learnings for growth, etc).

I'd like to tell my company that they can stick my self review up their ass.

I don't have them. My boss just tells me I'm a fuck up and I'm one step away from losing my job. That's enough review for me!!

jerseykrs said:

You're lucky. When we were owned by Target Corporation, we had what were called the "E's of Excellence" and we had to relate our performance to the "e's". There was "Energy", "Enthusiasm", blah, blah, blah. Now we have the "Mervyn's Competencies"....more corporate bullshit.

actually, i prefer writing self-reviews...it gives me a chance to point out the good stuff i did and it also gives me a chance to bitch about what needs to be improved. i wish we had self-reviews at my current job.

Anxiety said:

Well, we don't really get to bitch about what needs to be improved with the job, etc, we just get to explain our strengths, our weaknesses and what we need to work on going forward. I just wish someone would tell me a) how I'm doing b) what I need to do to improve and c) how much my raise will be (in the case of my current job, my raise will be in peanuts. You all are welcome to have a couple if you like).

Just do what Paris & Nicole do: No matter how shitty and lackadaisical your effort is, when they ask you how you think you've done, just answer "A+".

I hate em. Always have and always will. I neve know what to fill out. I'm an admin...I'm not given goals to complete or Managed Business Objectives. I guess I could use it to give constructive feedback to my boss...who SO needs that type of feedback. But how does one say to your boss...you need to be on timke for your meetings or...please read your emails...or stop giving me thing s to do that end with no fruitation. I feel these are FUNDAMENTAL things.

I feel like she drops a box of toothpick and asks me to pick them up only to accidentally drop them again and then not care if they get cleaned up or not. That's my job in a nutshell. She has me supporting this guy who's not even in our department. But everytime she asks me if I am supporting him. I say Yes. She says that needs to stop...but does nothing about it. Too many people come to me for stuff. She sees it as a problem that I should think about and fix...though she's the one that send people to me.

Agian SO many things I could say..cuz she drives me NUTS. I am Super-Admin working for a women on the verge of insanity. So, I did what I always do...

Q. Is there anything your manager can do to help you do better in your job?
A. No.

Q. Is there anything your manager does that hinders your progress?
A. No.

ANd I blame myself when things stay the same. I'm stuck for now until I find a different position.

And what's up with that 1-5 rating system BS. No one ever gets a 5...so why put it there. It's unattainable.

superspaceboy said:

Dear superspace boy,

I liked your review!
Thanks in advance!

Your boss.

althom said:

Dear Althom



Keep the change

Superspaceboy

ReturnOfDOOK said:

I just finished my E's of Excellence review last Friday!! (Had to do it a little early as my boss just retired today.)

And for me it's a mixed blessing. I hate writing them cause I just copy/paste what I put in for the last review and then update with new info or re-word a bit as needed. But if I don't write it well, I won't get a good raise, so I get out of it what I put into it.

CarrieMpls said:

So you know the torture of the E's!!! Hahahah! I hated them! It's not like the new Mervyn's "Competencies" are any better....again, corporate bullshit...I hate it.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Yeah, I love how I have to write a paragraph to justify that I have a "medium high" level of enthusiasm.

CarrieMpls said:

He he! I just had my appraisal last week. I think the worst review is that you have to assess your appearance as follows...

*Excellent

*Very Good

*Poor

*Very Poor

Not wishing to sound arrogant I ticked 'Very Good' but was told my appearance was excellent. I was pleased because it's casual dress at our place.

What happened to 'average' though!?

superspaceboy said:

We have the opposite problem where I work...the grading is so inflated that hardly anyone gets less than a 5!!