I've been thinking about this quite a bit recently. Everyone seems to have a different definition.

For me, growing up with modest means (and a father who drank and gambled away much of his actually quite substantial income), I never aspired to much in the way of material wealth. And considering how modest my dreams/plans were, I've basically acheived them. I've lived on my own since I was 18 (with just a few stops back at my parents from about 19-22, but no more than a few months at a time). And I have enough money (or credit ) to do the things I want, whether it's picking up a new CD, DVD or book when I fancy one, a new outfit now and again, a nice meal out with friends, shows and concerts when I want to, etc, to the bigger things like traveling quite a bit - sometimes short weekend trips to close places like Chicago and all the way up to 3 week adventures across Europe. But with all of these things, I find myself with very little material possessions (except clothes, CDs and shoes ).
Now, I don't think it's wrong to want a certain amount of financial success and material goods (I have a friend whose dreams were recently met when she bought her first home and first Mercedes in a manner of months and while that's not for me, I'm excited for her accomplishment) but that's just never been something I aspired to. However, now I'm finding myself unable to give up the small amount of comforts I currently have. In deciding it's time for me to move in another (possibly completely different) direction career-wise I'm finding myself quite scared at the prospect of potentially starting over and giving up many of the things I've come to depend on. Not to mention the fact that I'm reaching an age where I really need to start planning for my future. I have a 401k and I'm fully vested to the point where if I were to find myself out of work, I could live off of comfortably for at least 4-5 months, but then I'd find myself starting completely over again. Not to mention, I've no idea how I will ever be ready to retire. I've been living paycheck to paycheck all of my life but I'm not sure I have the discipline to really give up some of my comforts to start more of a savings for stability in the future.
I know in many ways, I'm very lucky as I have much more than plenty of people and yet I can feel satisfied in knowing I've worked hard for what I have. And I can also afford to routinely give to charities as well as political causes I'm passionate about, I'm spending even more time volunteering than I used, etc. Yet there are people out there who would find my lifestyle quite crude as well.

I guess I've reached a point where I need to make new goals. But I'm so bad at goal setting. I'm used to doing as I please and always landing on my feet somehow...

So what's your definiton of financial stability and/or financial success?

Financial stability to me means that I can buy those shoes that I like and buy my son a bunch of new clothes without worrying about how I'm gonna pay the rent

I'm definitely not rich or exactly where I want to be financially, but I have what I need and it's enough now. When I get to a point where I won't have to worry about bills, then I would consider that financial success.

Smooches;)

For me, financial stability/success is when I have peace of mind about my financial situation...mainly, that all bills are paid on time, rent/mortgage is never late, and with enough disposable income to allow for both a retirement fund of some sort and the occasional splurge here and there for things like traveling or vacations. How much that will take will depend upon the standard of living I desire...and thankfully, I've never been very heavy into the material things in life.

I feel like I'm well on my way to that goal, and even better is that I'm doing it by working for myself...

CarrieMpls said:

"Financial stability": You can pay your bills and are not in debt; you have a good nest-egg for your retirement.

"Financial success": This is of course different for everyone, but to me it means "fuck you" money.

I'm so looking forward meeting you in Amsterdam

It never has been that much of an issue for me. Growing up modestly and confident enough as a kid not to get riled by kids in school claiming I had the wrong shoes & stuff. Later on i found it more important to spend my money on going out and buying music instead of getting my drivers license.
Became a father 6 months into my first full time job. Now I love my job (cancer research) so that more than cmpensates for the shitty pay. Anyway, priority was on being a family, raising my kid. Had to take loans to move to a better place.
We couldn't afford anything we wanted, or even some basics (at least what other people would call basics). So no luxury, but no poverty either; Always had food, were able to go on vacation etc etc.
And now we´re steadily climbing up financially ! My gf found a job as well and by now I´m getting paid more. So again our priorities change. Spending more on luxury or fun things. And I think we´re enjoying them and various small things even more because we know how it´s like without it.

Financial stability: knowing you can at least pay the rent, have food on the table, take care of my family
Financial success: I just want to have that degree of succes as to be able to do things i want, and by now I´ve learned what to want.

I'm not gonna lie about this


I've always had the thought that I wanted to be filthy, stinkin' rich before I die.


Hasn't happened yet.

gemini13 said:

I have many dreams and lots of stuff that I want. I love gadgets and expensive toys and machines. But I'm in no way materialistic, since I can live comfortably without those things and will not miss them.
As long as I have a roof over my head and some food. I'm good to go.

i think it's different for everyone, and i think no matter what level we're at financially, we tend to want better for ourselves. i mean, i feel like i'm broke half the time, but i also know i have certain things that i'm accustomed to because i can afford them.

i don't really think too much about being financially successful - i think more about being able to one day wake up and know that what i do for a career is something that brings me joy. if it happens to pay less and i have to do away with some of the creature comforts i've become accustomed to, i'm willing to make those sacrifices, because i know i'll be a happier person.

My idea of financial wellness is a good credit rating/history. Having more than enough money to pay all of my bills and having some sort of a savings account that I only deposit funds into and not withdraw. Owning/maintaining my own home is something that I consider to be the pinnacle of financial success.

CarrieMpls said:

I am where you are in being content with being able to afford my luxuries like you. I basiclaly don't have to budget anymore to buy a CD or go out for dinner. My partner and I live only really a paycheck ahead now (better that pay to pay...but we NOT financially sound). If I can live like I am now for the rest of my life incl no car or house (but definitely a better apt) I'd be fine.

Right now we are looking for a bigger place...more rent. And my partner desperately needs another job...and wants to temp after we move. That's a burden we'll have to bear. I am a bit scared as though I KNOW he'll do ok...it won't be a steady job...and there may be lean months. I am aslo scared that he'll never get a full time job that will make him happy nor will make the income close to mine...but that's another story. So I do have this fear of not being able to have the things I will want to get. But we need a better lifestyle...and that's more important than money.

How to set yourself up for retirement. KEEP YOUR 401K. If you are over 30...try to keep it if you can. Did you know that a 25 yr old putting less into savings will save more over time than a 30yr old putting in more...but obviously starting earlier. Compounded interest You will need at least a million dollars to retire...maybe more. That's a LOW estimate. So keep your 401K. At some point you should look into a small savings plan.

Good luck in your endeavors.

CarrieMpls said:

I've made a LOT of financial mistakes since I was 18 years old which resulted in me filing bankrupt...my definition of financial success now would be learning from the mistakes you make

AlfofMelmak said:

I'm looking forward to meeting you too! And congrats on working your way up while staying focused on your career. That's the part I'm having difficulty with.

Anxiety said:

That's what I'm really struggling with right now. I'm not happy with my work. Up till about 2-3 years ago I was perfectly content. I've never felt defined by my job and always just thought of it as a means to everything else I wanted in life, but now, I just want more.

TwinkleBitch said:

Thanks for sharing. And very good advice. Really, these are all things I know. But that tends to be my eternal struggle in life. I almost always know what the right thing to do is, I just can't always make myself do it.

Natisse said:

Oh, I've made plenty of mistakes along the way too. But yeah, I've definitely learned from them.

CarrieMpls said:

sorry hon I hope that didnt come across badly I meant everyone learning from the mistakes we make

Natisse said:

It didn't come across badly. I was just letting you know I know where you're coming from.

I cannot believe the amount of people that I know (and I know some of you
are in this category) that live paycheck to paycheck.
I've certainly not made a ton of money, but you have to have your checks and
balances in line. I don't need a lot of the latest toys that come out. Never been that way.

Financial stablility, to me, is not living that lifestyle. Having enough
cash (NOT CREDIT) to buy what you want, when you want it.

Financial success...hmmmm...let's just say that I don't place any MORE value
on a successful professional than anyone else.

Impress me with your heart, not your wallet.

Financial stability is still having bread, two weeks after payday.

I've got no pension plan, no savings, no shares, no equity...

I've got £4.03 in the bank and about £7.00 in loose change. That's it. All the money I have in the world.

I've got to walk to work the rest of the month as I can't afford the bus. An hour's walk there and an hour's walk back.

I haven't had a week's holiday since 1989. I've managed to have "long weekends" but I haven't been able to spend a week away from my hometown since I was 17.

I spend about £15.00 a month on things that I don't really need like CDs and magazines. I haven't bought any new clothes since last September. If friends invite me out, I'm sat there constantly adding up how much I'm spending. I only really get out once a month. I haven't seen a film in a theatre since last June.

I hate my job and can see no way out whatsoever.

CarrieMpls said:

that's how i'm feeling too - i feel like even though i make decent money, i'm getting too old to spend 1/3 of each waking day in a place that has nothing to do with what means shit to me in life. on one level, it has little to do with money - but the idea of blowing off the ol' 'nine to five' in order to follow my bliss doesn't exactly account for how i'll be paying my rent, bills, grocery bills and all those damn bowie reissues that'll be coming out this year.

BinaryJustin said:

Please don't take this the wrong way...but with that outlook on life you won't ever see a way out. Or find one.

The best way to make more money is by getting a better paying job. It's called giving yourself a raise. I learned that from a great book I read called The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason. Very easy read..but presents just common sense and talks plainly (well parable like) on how to get wealth and how to retain it. It's a really cheap book too. And all it really does is plant nuggets of information anyone can apply.

BinaryJustin said:

Do U have a roomate?
If not, is your place large enough for a roomate?

I've rented one of the rooms in my house out now for 2 years.
It gives me an extra 500 a month bump.

Plus, if your job doesn't give you ANY benefits, leave. It's a frightening thing to do, but you got to do it.

When I was 20, I lived in a small rundown apartment, waited tables and felt trapped. I finally joined the military just to get out of there--it was a scary dicision, but now I'm making good money and my expenses are somewhat undercontrol.

You really should leave your job--you're never as trapped as you think. I thought I was once but I realize there are ALWAYS options.

AsianBomb777 said:

Exactly. If you don't like you situation...change it. If something is unacceptable...don't accept it. It's a frame of mind I think to not settle for what's shoved to you under the door on a paper plate.

TwinkleBitch said:

I'm not on fucking welfare! I've had to struggle just to get where I am right now. Nothing I have has been handed to me on a plate - paper or otherwise.

My choices of career are limited as my "education" stopped at high school. I don't have certifiable skills of any sort whatsoever. I can't even drive a car because I have a habit of fainting once or twice a year.

I could go to night-school and study just to get more certification in a specific field - but you know what? You're right - I'm not in the frame of mind to do so.

I'm in the frame of mind where I wake up from one day to the next, wishing that I hadn't. Dragging myself to work to be insulted, patronised and under-paid and then coming back home to an empty apartment. I'm completely depressed and wasting money on books of chicken-soup philosophy isn't going to help.

I am looking in newspapers (and online) at job vacancies but I'll admit that my heart isn't in it. I have to set my alarm for 06:15 every morning even though I don't have to leave for work until 08:00. I need all that time just to psyche myself up and get out of bed.

Nobody speaks to me at work. I think that my ex has dissed me to everybody in our department, when it was he whom dumped me. I spend lunch-breaks on my own, chain-smoking in the car park. When I'm at home, the only time friends phone, text or email is when they want something. I think the phone's rang twice this week.

The only thing that's keeping me sane is this website, to tell you the truth.

i'm struggling to make a decision based on finance myself do i stay here where i have virtualy no friends and absolutely no family but have a very succesful business which allows me to live very comfortably and selfishly or do i pack up and go back home to my large and loving family and pick up with my old friends but have to find employment that i know will not pay me what i am able to earn now and have to give up a lot of my extravagances? i have financial security thanks to my success,a lot of people do,the scary thing is it could all go up in smoke at any minute.

BinaryJustin said:

I didn't mean it like that. I was using a metaphor (obviously not a good one)I just meant don't settle for less than you're worth. You're a really nice guy from what I gather and I hate that you are in the situation you are. You don't deserve to get treated the way you do.And It's hard to pull oneself out of a funk esp if it's lasted for a while.

You seem to need a new outlook on things...a boost in life. I think a new locale and a new job would suit you good. I know times are tough for you and these aren't easy tasks...but I think they would do you a world of good.

Seriously, I only want you to be happy.

Financial Stability/Success

Funny you should mention that! It is all I have thought a out as of late.I was married most my life. I am now 39 and have been single for 5 years. I by far didn't realize the toll and difficulty that was in store for me in restablishing my family. My children needed my full attention and so I began to work far less. The toll to my emotions was thrown on the back burner and left smoldering. ( Long story to short) I began charging the bills and also failed to alter my old lifestyle in a timely manor. I sunk myself but good.
I finally have come out of a fog and self imposed exile to examine where I am at and where to head from here. I have spent the last year clearing the cobwebs and facing the music. As I neared the surface from the hole I had dug I began to indulge in wine more often and realized sloooowwwwlllyyy that I had began to seek it out for avoidance therapy. That being a huge no no I have decided it was time to face what is haunting me. The weight of carrying my family on my own is more then a wrenching responsibility. Living in California is expensive (Granted I am well paid.) but many a night in recent time I walk through this house and think all this is my burden. So I began to strip it of its material build up. ( Man did I load it down in my past "Money is My God" phase.) Suddenly all that crap was a burden. It just didn't hold anything for me anymore. I now realize I still walk the floors and it wasn't REALLY what was troubling me. Like you Carrie, I live paycheck to paycheck so to speak. God forbid I took ill or anything. This place is 1700 a month etc..... I don't have family money to save me or child support.... Although living well, I also have always lived to the end of my means. Knowing that the nest egg I have created is of great comfort I decided not to squander it on trips but store it for security. Though it pained me to cancel my trips and disappoint people, I have this secure feeling that I can hold my own in the face of an emergency. Something I have not known in 5 years. Yet and again I realize that it isn't the solution just a wise move. I am trading time for dollars. I have run out of time so I need to switch careers too. Which means I need to hunker down and study and get the job done without comfort zones for a while.
I believe it is important to safeguard your future more now. I don't know if we can count on Social Security or if that is really a survival method even IF you lived meager and humble. My grandparents are 87 and still able to live alone and well with the money they tucked away for these years. My grandfather had a heart to heart with me over Christmas. He believes that my future is in Real Estate. That owning property is the way to go. ( As he has done.) I have decided I agree with him. Its a great concept for me. Therefore I am going to have to make some serious changes and pull a rabbit out of my hat.

superspaceboy said:

Me too.

Thanks.

BinaryJustin said:

Hey man, I know you don't like me for my bluntness but maybe you should come over here and have too much beer and I'll give you a pep-talk..... Also, try to step away from this site a bit more. With a mindset like that it can become addictive & unhealthy.....you, like anyone else, deserve to be happy!

and I do that too, with the alarm-clock.....not to get psyched up, I just can't get up immediately when the damned thing goes off!