so for years now, i have been having a battle with the fact that i'm not particularly close to my roots. i don't necessarily feel bad about it i just feel that there is a lot of pressure (or at least there used to be), from the Portuguese community here that i'm not doing my bit to further the cause and that i'm not down with them and their thing.
so for years i have had the attitude that i don't have to be on anyone's side just cuz we are from the same minority group. it's all about inclusivity right? i think that's what is really important.
i mean, it's not unusual for minority groups to not want to be included themselves. yes i know all about segregation but here it's like the Canadians hang with each other, the Portuguese hang with each other, the Filipinos hang with each other and so forth.

does anyone feel the pressure to be part of their roots? or does anyone feel guilty? who has connected with their roots?

Milty said:

and you live on a island???

abierman said:

yes and?

No preasure.


I am now closer to my “Thai” roots than I have ever been, though it took years for me to get to this point.


I grew up in white neighborhoods, went to mostly white schools, had only white friends all the way up until the age of 16. I grew up in the middle class suburbs of Birmingham, Alabama, and from the time I was young up until well into my early 20’s racial shame has been something I dealt with.

I remember the nastiest remarks when I was in middle school and going to an outskirts type of school—full of trash and rednecks and a speckling of upper middle class types like myself. “Chink, Jap, even “nigger-rogyen” where my common nicknames. As a result I tried to distance myself from that “Asian” side of me.

It wasn’t until I had gotten into highschool, where I’d moved closer to the city and went to a much nicer school—ironically, I was pretty popular in High School—that I started to realize that the racial shame that was being shoved into me was wrong. I made my first black friend at the age of 16, and we weren’t the best of friends but we identified ourselves as friends. We hung out from time-to-time and studied together.

One day while I was in line with him at a grocery store buying notecards, I remember there where 3 white people in front of us. The cashier who was white, joked with each of them, but when Brian came up to the counter, she stopped joking and was all business. He didn’t notice, but I noticed right away. THIS WAS WHEN I WOKE UP.

I then noticed that when I went shopping, the same kind of thing would happen to me. This is when I realized that no matter what I did, no matter how well I spoke English, no matter how good looking I was (and I am fine as hell), it didn’t matter to some people—I was just that chink trying to be “white.”

So, after 10 years of reinventing what I consider to be beautiful, what I place value in, I do feel that racial identity is very important. Minorities, no matter where they are at, should be somewhat united, because no matter how politically correct the world pretends to be, the underrepresented will be very weak if not united. And it isnt’ just the “whites” that do it—all cultures do it.

If you look at the rampant homosexual discrimination that is allowed in the U.S. you’ll see that this is not a nation that tolerates things unless it is pressured to.

As for you Milty—do what it is that you feel like doing. But no matter where you go, no matter what you do, you will be judged for the color of your skin, and having a community that understands this and grounds you and backs you up helps.

.

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[Edited 1/22/05 17:18pm]

I've never felt a need or desire to live my life in such a way that furthers the cause of my race or ethnicity...one reason might be because I feel the best way of furthering that cause is for everyone, in every "catagory" (be it majority or minority), to live their individual lives in the best ways they know how...to see the deeper spiritual value in being able to do so...and thus hopefully understanding how important it is to allow and encourage everyone else to do the same.

I grew up in Chicago, then moved to Virginia when I was 7...when I was in the inner city of Chicago, I felt fine, had friends, a loving family...a normal childhood...but when I moved to Virginia, I felt something more, something deeper...it was being surrounded by so much nature. I felt serene, at peace...I often went off on my own into the woods, and just felt completely myself...to this day being surrounded by nature gives me an inner connection to peace and something "else" far bigger than my own existence. As a result, I tend to be drawn towards those who share similar feelings and experience similar moments...their outer appearance, nationality, ethnicity or race completely disappear. When that happens, that peaceful connection to something "else" far bigger just becomes more intense...

So while I've also felt the pressures of others feeling that I'm supposed to live my life in accordance to what is "best" for the whole, I've come to believe that I am already indeed doing just that...the fact that those "others" may not be able to grasp that reality, doesn't mean I'm not.

Byron said:

I admire your attitude about it.
I think you and Milty are similar but different in that regard.
You're steadfastness and individualism comes from honesty and pride.
Milty's comes from evil.

AsianBoi777 said:

It's all how you grow up and are brought in the environment around you.

The kind of shit that you experienced, I experienced in reverse, so I can empathize (<---- 'non-gay' hug )

I've had to deal with that from time to time and it's been especially difficult because i'm mixed. For some reason it's wrong of me to acknowledge both of my roots. The worst of it was in college. I'd get shit for every little thing I did. If i tried to help out or be an active member of the community, no one would take me seriously and i'd have to deal with their insults. Then when I would turn my back i'd be considered a traitor. people need to chill out with that shit. It makes so many people miserable for no good reason at all.

Then I graduated and moved to a place where everyone thinks i;m puerto rican and just leaves me alone.

JasmineFire said:

Jas!

I got a buddy who doesn't like to mix with his own community (which is also mine) because the bruva had to put up with a lot of INTRAracial abuse his way from pompous self-rightous idiots, who only picked up there values from watching Bollywood movies

I felt for him badly but just couldn't reach him

senik said:

that's just the thing. i have more than one community and for some reason it's looked at like frickin' blasphemy to be loyal to all. ah well.

AsianBoi777 said:

see? minorities... pfft.

I don't feel that I have an obligation to belong to any minority group.

However, I love learning about my roots, and any others out there..

Milty said:

My family is Jewish and you wanna talk about pressure to be part of your roots? In case you didn't know, with the current rate of intermarriage (not to mention a little bit of help from ol' Adolph H. back in the day), the race will probably be extinct in the not-too-distant future.

Myself, I am as religious as a turnip (a very secular turnip). While occasionally I feel pangs of guilt because I do love aspects of Jewish culture and I'd hate to think I'm helping racists do their thing, in the end, you've got to be true to yourself. If I ever marry, can I see myself asking a woman to convert to a religion I don't believe in myself? Don't think so.

It's your life. As long as you're not preventing anyone else from living theirs in the way they want to, live it as you see fit.