32 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE:

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Insist that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniff incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more at any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.







Got an annoying habit that should be listed here? Tell us about it!

You are SO right about the Lego thing...

I thought maybe it was just my younger bro who did that when we were growing up. Actually, thinking about my younger bro throws up at least another 32 ways to annoy, but we'll come back to that.....

Send jokes or excessively friendly e-mail to people who hate you. If they (repeatedly) tell you to stop sending them e-mail, (repeatedly) respond with excessively joyful phrases, such as "I'm so glad I could brighten your day!"

Pick names at random out of the phone book, and enroll them in audio cassette/CD clubs.

Watch a favourite film with friends saying every word a few seconds before the actor woudln't catch me doing that



well only with dirty dancing


wrong whistle edit
[Edited 1/20/05 6:51am]

lollyp0p said:

that shit is annoying!









ok. so i've done it once or twice.

listen to music with ear phones and sing really loud and all the wrong words preferably in a public place such as on a train or in a bank

I know someone who finishes a lot of his statements with the phrase...


How does that grab ya

it really is annoying

or failing that he uses

and what do you think about that then? I don't think anything i tuned out after the 3rd word

Mimic the actions strangers on a bus.

Number32 said:

well, I've practiced all of those

especially the "turn signa" thing is a hoot. try it when someone is coming
up behind you real fast. you know the ones, the speed maniacs that go about
60 miles faster than they're allowed.

once they're about 40 meters away from your car, quickly switch on the
turn signal as if you're gonna go to the left lane to overtake another
car.

and then, when they slow down, just keep to the right side of the road
until they pass you, looking all mad and frustrated.

Number32 said:

I think I went through a phase like that as a kid



That reminds me of my hometown, Key West. It's 90 miles from Cuba and in the early 80's there were a lot of drugs coming into America through the Keys so the U.S. government put up road blocks to stop it. That also stopped a lot of the tourism, which is a huge part of the economy. Needless to say, locals were not happy. So they seceded from the union and declared war on the United States.
A minute later the Keys surrendered and demanded financial aid as a "war-torn third world country".
We still call ourselves the Conch Republic, have our own flag :, call natives "Conchs" (which is why my username used to be conch) and have a president who lives in a trailer/caravan downtown.
True story. I love my hometown
[Edited 1/20/05 23:44pm]

Stand outside a church with your cd player playing Marilyn Manson with the volume maxed!

or arrange your friend's carseat to where it's tilted to the extreme forward, then watch them get in their car and hit their head on the roof.

In the supermarket, ask the salesperson where you find something that is right in front of you and when they tell you where to look, continuously look on the shelf just above where it is. They'll eventually get really pissed off!

Number32 said:

amcam said:

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."


My exboyfriend and I did this for 2 days once we still do sometimes when we are around strangers

lollyp0p said:

It'd be like watching movies with my sister-in-law

Now, THESE R funny. Almost like the ol' KING SAUSAGE & 2 the 9's threads changing princes songs 2 humorous titles. I was lucky if I hit the bathroom in those days...Its great 2 laugh, NO?

Put mustard in the shampoo bottle.

When in the elevator dance around and pretend you are holding in your pee

Stare at someone until they look back at you, then look away. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Fart in a crowded elavator and then get off on the next floor