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Reply #30 posted 12/27/04 7:52am

DarkKnight1

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ReturnOfDOOK said:

AsianBomb777 said:




Shit dude that sucks. Try this on for size.
My ex got married recently. She's not the current girl that just dumped me, but she is what I considered my soulmate...now married.

As much as I"m supposed to actually be happy for her, and on some level I think I am, I'm mostly angry about the whole thing.

I don't even like to think about it. It made me look at my life and really challenge myself as to where I am and where I need to be.


This is exactly how I'm feeling...it fucking sucks. I was the one that broke up with her, I'm the one who never returned her calls begging me to take her back, etc....now I just feel like shit. I seriously just start feeling sick to my stomach thinking about it.

My college friends had a little pot luck the other night since everyone was coming back in town - I didn't end up going because I know I couldn't handle seeing Kim with the new guy.....I feel like such a fucking whiney pansy.
[Edited 12/25/04 16:23pm]



Its a natural jealous feeling. I Dont think that you love her, you might like her but you really miss the presence of someone familiar. If U had found someone in the mean time, a little jealosy might still remain. Jealousy if the most normal of human emotions. Pain is OK, stay focused and as positive as possible. Soon, the right person will show up when your not looking. You'll always fondly remember her, but eventually lose the pain.
(Insert something clever here)
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Reply #31 posted 12/27/04 9:04am

ReturnOfDOOK

Mach said:

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Here's a photo from our Boulder email group that we have on yahoo of Kim and (I'm assuming) her new man.... sad



(I know, I'm pathetic)



you are not pathetic ( unless thats what you want to be ? ) hug

she is beautiful
he is handsome
they look happy

are you happy for her ?


I try to be happy for her...that's all I've ever wanted for her - for her to be happy. But, she was a very, very depressed girl and she needed someone to really take care of her (trust me on this one - she was very tough to handle). I ended up breaking up with her because the bad barely outweighed the good and I just couldn't be a caretaker for someone with frequent bouts of depression.

So, seeing her how I always loved seeing her (smiling, happy, etc) kills me because those were the things that made me fall in love with her. It was 5 years of really really good and really really bad all at the same time. I really miss the good because she and I just clicked, ya know? But, the bad was really really bad (more than most guys have to deal with).

I guess that's what upsets me the most - the fact that the good was better than I think I will find. I dunno...maybe it just takes time.
[Edited 12/27/04 9:04am]
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Reply #32 posted 12/27/04 9:46am

Case

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Mach said:




you are not pathetic ( unless thats what you want to be ? ) hug

she is beautiful
he is handsome
they look happy

are you happy for her ?


I try to be happy for her...that's all I've ever wanted for her - for her to be happy. But, she was a very, very depressed girl and she needed someone to really take care of her (trust me on this one - she was very tough to handle). I ended up breaking up with her because the bad barely outweighed the good and I just couldn't be a caretaker for someone with frequent bouts of depression.

So, seeing her how I always loved seeing her (smiling, happy, etc) kills me because those were the things that made me fall in love with her. It was 5 years of really really good and really really bad all at the same time. I really miss the good because she and I just clicked, ya know? But, the bad was really really bad (more than most guys have to deal with).

I guess that's what upsets me the most - the fact that the good was better than I think I will find. I dunno...maybe it just takes time.
[Edited 12/27/04 9:04am]


Here's something that might help: How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold Bloomfield (I THINK that's his last name) and Exorcising Your Ex by Elizabeth Custer (this book is aimed at chicks, but it's helpful nonetheless).

And remember what Jay said in "Chasing Amy": 'There's one bitch in the world. One bitch with many faces." (Ok, so he was paraphrasing "The Last Temptation of Christ." Who cares? It's still truthful.)
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Reply #33 posted 12/27/04 10:43pm

grandebelle

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ReturnOfDOOK said:

Mach said:




you are not pathetic ( unless thats what you want to be ? ) hug

she is beautiful
he is handsome
they look happy

are you happy for her ?


I try to be happy for her...that's all I've ever wanted for her - for her to be happy. But, she was a very, very depressed girl and she needed someone to really take care of her (trust me on this one - she was very tough to handle). I ended up breaking up with her because the bad barely outweighed the good and I just couldn't be a caretaker for someone with frequent bouts of depression.

So, seeing her how I always loved seeing her (smiling, happy, etc) kills me because those were the things that made me fall in love with her. It was 5 years of really really good and really really bad all at the same time. I really miss the good because she and I just clicked, ya know? But, the bad was really really bad (more than most guys have to deal with).

I guess that's what upsets me the most - the fact that the good was better than I think I will find. I dunno...maybe it just takes time.
[Edited 12/27/04 9:04am]

Another thought here: Did u ever think SHE might not have been the whole fault HERE??? IT TAKES 2 to make or break a relationship...SHE might not have been happy with U but is now & its killing U that U WERENT THEE ONE 2 B able 2 give her what she needed. She might have felt the SAME about dealing with u. Be happy 4 her as u say...Very FEW peeps R soulmates. Keep the faith dude. Theres more than 1 cover 4 every kettle IMO. Be grateful 4 the GOOD & BAD, as u learned from each and can apply these lessons 2 the next relationship. Its better 2 have loved & lost than 2 never have loved at all. smile
May the BELLS ring 4 U even when ur not in love. hug kisses
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Reply #34 posted 12/28/04 9:30am

ReturnOfDOOK

grandebelle said:

ReturnOfDOOK said:



I try to be happy for her...that's all I've ever wanted for her - for her to be happy. But, she was a very, very depressed girl and she needed someone to really take care of her (trust me on this one - she was very tough to handle). I ended up breaking up with her because the bad barely outweighed the good and I just couldn't be a caretaker for someone with frequent bouts of depression.

So, seeing her how I always loved seeing her (smiling, happy, etc) kills me because those were the things that made me fall in love with her. It was 5 years of really really good and really really bad all at the same time. I really miss the good because she and I just clicked, ya know? But, the bad was really really bad (more than most guys have to deal with).

I guess that's what upsets me the most - the fact that the good was better than I think I will find. I dunno...maybe it just takes time.
[Edited 12/27/04 9:04am]

Another thought here: Did u ever think SHE might not have been the whole fault HERE??? IT TAKES 2 to make or break a relationship...SHE might not have been happy with U but is now & its killing U that U WERENT THEE ONE 2 B able 2 give her what she needed. She might have felt the SAME about dealing with u. Be happy 4 her as u say...Very FEW peeps R soulmates. Keep the faith dude. Theres more than 1 cover 4 every kettle IMO. Be grateful 4 the GOOD & BAD, as u learned from each and can apply these lessons 2 the next relationship. Its better 2 have loved & lost than 2 never have loved at all. smile


No, I totally agree. I couldn't give her what she needed and the relationship was not healthy for EITHER of us. I would get angry at her because of the fact that I had to deal with her bouts of depression, etc....It was definitely dysfunctional at times, no doubt about that.
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Reply #35 posted 12/30/04 9:10pm

NewFace

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Here's a photo from our Boulder email group that we have on yahoo of Kim and (I'm assuming) her new man.... sad



(I know, I'm pathetic)



barf
... would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?
Welcome to "the org", NewFace… they can have you, but I'll have your love in the end.
did I say an hour? My face is red, I stand corrected.
if U feel alright, let me hear U
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Reply #36 posted 12/31/04 2:23pm

ReturnOfDOOK

NewFace said:

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Here's a photo from our Boulder email group that we have on yahoo of Kim and (I'm assuming) her new man.... sad



(I know, I'm pathetic)



barf


sad
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