*cue corny music with fake ass Linn claps...*


Ladies and gentlemen.....boys and girls...dogs, cats, and babies....show this man some love, or you'll all get rabies...GIVE IT UP FOR THE ONE, THE ONLY .....
PRRIIIIINCCEE!!!

*Purple stage lights come on, doves fly from behind the curtains....a heavy fog comes across the stage...and here comes Prince crawling on the ground licking a white substance off of a wooden spoon...he rolls on the floor and freezes in place....gives a cold hard stare to the audience, which is in a frenzy over seeing Prince....He grabs his collar, puts it to his mouth..and says....*

"WHATCHALL KNOW BOUT DIS MPLS COOKIN? I AIN'T TALKIN MAWFFINS AND SHEEYIT, I'M TALKIN BOUT SOME PRANCE COOKIN. YA'LL READY TO EAT? MY COOKIN WILL SINCURLY FUCK THE TASTIN BUDS OUTCHO MOWF!! EEEEYYYYOOOOOWWAAHHH!!!!"

Just then, these 2 bikini clad models strut across the stage and take P's robe off....to reveal his fuschia cooking apron with frills on the shoulders, a huge gold on the chest, which was low enough to expose his chest hairs, and high enough to expose his stomach hairs, some Batman underoos, and some leggins with hot purple jazz warmers. It looks like he's bout to kick ass all over the damn stove...

"SO WHATCHALL WANT TO EAT TODAY? UH HUH, UH HUH," He struts into the audience, one hand on his hip, typhoon hair and ass swaying side to side in sync... He put the mic to this lady's mouth and says

"NOW WHATCHALL WONT PRANCE TO COOK TODAY HEEYUH??"
"OH PRINCE!! I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I LOVE YOU AND HAVE ALL YOUR ALBUMS!!"
"BITCH SHUT UP ALREADY, JEHOVADAMMIT..."

He struts back to the stage and turns the stove on...
"WHILE WE WAITIN FO THIS HEEYUH TO HEAT UP NOW, AAOOWAHH, HOW BOUT SOME 'TAINMENT???" So he whips out his harmonica and begins to serenade the audience with a harmonic version of Wet Dream Cousin. It doesn't take 30 minutes for a stove to heat up...but he didn't care. He's a DIVA!! A DIIIIIVVVVVAAAAA!! So he looks dead at the audience and says...

"I WAS WALKIN DAWN THE STREETS OF MPLS ONE DAY, AND I THAWT TO MAWSELF, AH CUM A LAWNG WAY FROM TREKKING ACRAWS THE SNOW IN KOSOVO DELIVERIN CANNED GUUDS TO M.J., USHOCKA, AND DESTINATION'S CHURREN, AND IT AWCURRED TO ME DAT I NE'ER HAD A T.V. SHOW....SO I PULLED SOME STRANGS, AND OTHER THANGS..AND NOW I'M BOUT TO TAKE YAAW TO PAISUHLEY PAWK KITCHENTIERIA."

He takes 2 eggs, some flower, gizzards, cloves, noodles, peanut butter and some Old Bay...he throws it all in a bowl...of course he's singing the whole time...

"MAAAAANNNNNAAAAAYYYY!! SHE FUCKIN UP MY MAWFFINS!!
GOT ME SO MAD THAT I'M CAWSSIN...
I SPOSDA WINAZZ FOR JAHOVA....
THE BITCH CAN'T COOK, THE MARRIAGE BOUT TO ME OVA...
I CAUGHT HER AT THE GLAM SLAM IN THAT DRESS I DON'T LIKE HER IN,
I'M GONNA FIRE THE BOUNCERS THAT LET HER ASS IN...
SOMEBODY SLAPPED HER ASS, I RECOGNIZE THAT HAND...
NOBODY ELSE BUT LARRY GRAHAM...
AFTER I WELCOMED HIM IN MY HOME...
NOW ALL MY MASCARA GONE..
HE SAID LOVESEXY WAS SO GAY...
I SAID GLAMSLAMKID LIKES IT THAT WAY...
DON'T KNOW WHERE MY LIPSTICK'S AT...
CAN'T WEAR MY HEELS CUZ YOUR FEET ARE TOO FAT...
ATE ALL MY MAWFFINS, DRANK ALL MY GRAPE JUICE...
THROW THIS SHIT IN THE OVEN AND TURN IT LOOSE!! GIT DOWN GUUD GAWD!!
I GOT 2 EGGSS NAW....
OOHWWAYYHHAAH!! THROW THAT SHIT IN THE BOWL...
HEY BOY, I WANNA PUT MY TONGUE IN THE "A" OF YO BAKERY!!
I'M A FUCKING CULINARY WIZARD...
HOOK THIS SHIT UP WITH SOME GIZZARDS!!!!
NOW I'M PUTTIN IN 30 CLOVES,
ONE FOR EACH ONE OF MY HOES....
I GOT A BIG ASS HEAD, THEY CALL ME SKIP,
IF I PUT NOODLES IN THIS SHIT, WOULD IT BE A MEAL OR A TRIP?
PURPLE HIPPIE BITCHES...D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DID I STUTTA???
I CAN FIX THAT.....WITH SOME PEANUT BUTTER!!OOOOOHWWWWAAAAAYYY!!!
SPECIAL INGREDIENT TO MAKE YA'LL GAY???? A MUTHAFUCKIN PINCH OF OLD BAY!!!!!EEEEEOOOOOWWWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!
LET'S PRETEND WE'RE COOKING BITCHES!!AAAAAHHHHH!!!!

He throws the shit in the oven, whips out his flute and gives a woodwind version of Wet Dream Cousin....for 45 minutes...he takes the metallic bowl out of the oven with NO oven mitts on....throws it on the counter and yells out..


"AAAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!! JUGHEAD SURPRISE!!!POOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOMPOOM!!!"

The audience cheers on, and i run up on the stage, say "OH PRINCE..." we have a passionate kiss and these thick clouds of purple fog envelope us as our silhouettes dance in the mist.

I'm seriously losing it. I'll try harder next time!!

Is this a scat thread?

holy shit man .... this stuff cracks me UP

Cloudbuster said:

Nope!! It's a rimjob thread!!

glamslamkid said:

Well, they're kinda related.

Cloudbuster said:

scat is nasty as fuck. i don't care how much i love your ass.

oh shit just that made me laff like a looney!

glamslamkid said:

dogs would do it so y can't u?

glamslamkid said:

Now ya'll know i did not say that. I'll let you fart in my mouth, but that's as far as i'm taking the shit.

That's fucking insane.



(Keep up the good work.)