I said the final (I think) goodbye to my father tonight. I DID go to my sister's and we had a great time all of us, despite the fact that Tyra was grumpy as hell. Dad had a few drinks with the others, but he behaved very well. I have to give him that much. Anyways, when I was going to drive him and mom home I was backing the car up so another car could come through, and he was on the outside and started yelling at me "what the fuck are you doing?". Right then I decided to NOT get yelled at anymore, NOT being told there's something seriously wrong in my head. When we were at my place to drop Uzie off I dropped everything I had of his in his lap and told him that I won't take his disrespectfulness anymore, and I mentioned what he'd said to me. He was virtually speechless, all he said was the very quizzical "ok, good that you told me." Anybody's guess really but I think he meant that it proves what he feels, that I'm fucked up in the head. I'm not budging though.

So goodbye dad, hello independent Jen


But it's still a VERY sad day for me today... he's a big part of me whether I like it or not. Which I don't. Shit.

Teacher said:

My dad is the SAME way with me, only he never gets nice so I never have to regret the things I say to him... Your dad obviously needs some help, but you shouldn't be the one burdened with giving it to him. You've done nothing wrong. I'd suggest counseling. Getting him there will be tricky, but a therapist could help him while you get on with your life. Good job putting your foot down. Maybe it seems evil to do such a thing to your father, especially on Christmas, but I understand exactly where you're coming from. I'll probably be doing the same thing in a few hours... Keep your chin up. We're all here for you. Good luck, independent Jen.
[Edited 12/25/04 9:02am]

I said the final (I think) goodbye to my father tonight. I DID go to my sister's and we had a great time all of us, despite the fact that Tyra was grumpy as hell. Dad had a few drinks with the others, but he behaved very well. I have to give him that much. Anyways, when I was going to drive him and mom home I was backing the car up so another car could come through, and he was on the outside and started yelling at me "what the fuck are you doing?". Right then I decided to NOT get yelled at anymore, NOT being told there's something seriously wrong in my head. When we were at my place to drop Uzie off I dropped everything I had of his in his lap and told him that I won't take his disrespectfulness anymore, and I mentioned what he'd said to me. He was virtually speechless, all he said was the very quizzical "ok, good that you told me." Anybody's guess really but I think he meant that it proves what he feels, that I'm fucked up in the head. I'm not budging though.

So goodbye dad, hello independent Jen


But it's still a VERY sad day for me today... he's a big part of me whether I like it or not. Which I don't. Shit.

We love you Jen!