And I can't wait until meeting all of you who are coming over to the Amsterdam Invasion! April 29th/May 1st!

Remember; Queen's Day 2005 is OURS!

Yay, great speech !!
I always thought you should do something with these skills !!
I missed you last saturday !! Where were you, we had great fun !!

And I can't wait until meeting all of you who are coming over to the Amsterdam Invasion! April 29th/May 1st!

It’s hard for me to realise that this time last year my mother was still alive. February 2004 she passed away after an intense battle with cancer. Whenever I see the pics of Xmas last year it just crack me up; it hasn’t been a year!

So this thread is to remember the ones that we have to miss, not only people we just recently lost. It is to help you remember that even if you are not into christmas, it is a wonderful opportunity to look around you and realise how lucky you are with the people you love and the ones that love you.

I want to shout out to the people who are going through these similar happy/sad feelings, like I am that it is okay to be sad, but that we have to remember the joys of being alive, most of surrounded by the ones that we love. And that we are loved by them or otherwise that there are people somewhere that do.



My family is still in a state of shock. I have been uneasy ever since we placed my mother’s ashes in my father’s grave. We all kind of needed time out from each other, as we have never been a family that was cuddly and cosy.
But since last week the new headstone that also includes my mother’s name has been placed and it strangely feels quiet in my head ever since.

Of course, my family and I need to redefine the word ‘family’ now my mother’s gone. She was the one that initiated most get-togethers and now this void has to be filled with the need of us, the children, with the want to be a family.



And then, just this night, as I was tossing and turning in my bed, I woke up to the realisation that so many of you here have been so encouraging. So mindful and sweet. In a way; a family. Just separated by long distances, bonded by a love for someone’s music.

I can hardly name every person that sent his or her love, but I would like to especially thank a few people here.

Jürgen and Maarten, two Orgers that have become so much more than just friends. My close friendship with these two guys signify how a ‘cold’ place like internet can be the birthing-ground of something lasting and worth while.
Nathan and Patrick, whom have shared words and emotions beyond any other could give or understand.
And Phil, who reads between the lines and keeps checking up on me with sweet org-notes. And Darin, who possibly does not realise how his sweet music and ‘wall flower’-words have been a soundtrack that warmed my cold bones.

So, just before christmas, before you start moaning about the things ‘you have to’, like visit her family, visit his family, just count your blessings.

And enjoy the coming week! Don’t stress out over pressies! Christmas is not about presents; it’s about getting together for the feast of light.

Truly a light in darkness.







first typo-edit
[Edited 12/21/04 1:11am]

You have brightened many of my days as well.

and chocolate

You are right Gooey, it has been a shitty year.
This was truly the year of death.

endorphin74 said:

No nights?

Beautiful thread, Gooey. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and thanks for the reminder. I'll be spending Christmas away from my family for the first time in my 34 years -- first time any of my mom's kids aren't home for Christmas. It'll be a different one for me, with plenty of time to think of all that I am grateful for.

I am absolutely in love with his children so I'm doing my best to focus on that.

Big s to everyone ~ when we lose a loved one it's never good-bye...