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Thread started 12/16/04 9:37pm

RipHer2Shreds

Celebrity Urban Legends That Won't Go Away!

There are many, many bad (but funny) ones. Where to start? Thank Goddess for www.snopes.com. My favorite of the far out ones is the accusation that Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermie. Consulting Snopes, we find this (partial article, the whole thing can be found here):

Origins: Whatto make of the child of two successful and famous actors who grows up to achieve an equal measure of fame in the same field? What if this gal has a boyish-sounding name and adopts children rather than bears her own?

A rumor, apparently. And not a very nice one.

So? Is she, or isn't she?

We may never know. No one but Ms. Curtis, her parents, and her doctors has the definitive answer to this one, and none of them is talking. Curtis has repeatedly declined deigning to provide a response to this rumor, and her physicians — even if they had something to say and wanted to say it — are bound by doctor-patient confidentiality strictures.

Okay, so we simply don't know. Why, then, is this rumor so widespread?

Two facts lend an aura of credence to the rumor that Jamie Lee was born with both male and female bodyparts. The first is her two-way name: According to the rumor, a boyish appellation was bestowed upon her by parents who hadn't yet decided whether to have a boy or a girl "made" of their baby and wanted to be prepared to go either way, but that wasn't the case of it. Janet Leigh explained how she came to choose the name:

"At that time, we didn't know ahead of time if it would be a girl or a boy, so when I was pregnant with Kelly, my best friend Jackie Gershwin said, "Why don't you call the baby Kelly, so if it's a girl, it works, and if it's a boy, it works?" And she thought the same thing with Jamie. The babies were named before they were born because Jackie said, "This way, we won't have to worry about it!"

The second fact that supports the rumor is Ms. Curtis' own children: They're adopted. Though couples opt for adoptive children over natural progeny for any number of reasons, it is true the operation necessary to correct dual gendering in a female infant would leave her unable to bear children.

Degrees of intersexuality vary in intensity from presence of an additional Y chromosome to being born with a mixed set of genitals. Treatment of cases of blatant intersexuality is generally (but not always) surgical in nature, with reconstruction performed on the infant patient to add or remove body parts so as to end up with a child completely male or female in physical appearance. Hormones are also given towards this end, but there is a limit to what can be corrected medically. Though an appearance of sexual normalcy can be constructed, fully functional reproductive organs cannot.

Intersexuality is a reality; some children are ambiguously gendered at birth. However, one particular point needs to be made, and made quite vehemently: The existence of such medical conditions is not reason in itself to suppose that Jamie Lee Curtis has any of them. Using the one to bolster belief in the second is akin to claiming the existence of the Atlantic Ocean somehow proves a particular ship sank in it.

As only someone who has seen True Lies can say, if that's not all woman, then maybe we need to rethink what is. And while we're at it, let's see if we can't rethink what's a fit topic for gossip and what isn't.

Barbara "unfit for humane consumption" Mikkelson


I think a large part of this legend is attributed to her androgynous appearance. Personally, I've always thought she was gorgeous. shrug Got a favorite one? The Richard Gere/gerbil story will never go away, and it still makes me laugh.
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Reply #1 posted 12/16/04 9:43pm

Anxiety

i'm really proud of JLC for not confirming or denying the rumor. she's a badass of the highest degree - there were red carpet clips of her on VH1 and she doesn't take shit from any of the reporters or paparazzi, and she's a hilarious smart-ass to boot...you'd have to be, i guess, to be married to christopher guest! (that's her hubby, right?)

and really, intersexuality is more common than most people may think. it's not such a scandalous thing, and really, it's nobody's freakin' business.
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Reply #2 posted 12/16/04 9:46pm

RipHer2Shreds

Anxiety said:


and really, intersexuality is more common than most people may think. it's not such a scandalous thing, and really, it's nobody's freakin' business.

Amen to that. That is why the rumor will never go away - people wanna think it, but nobody would be stupid enough to ask her that. She'd kick some ass. She's long been one of my favorite actresses, and though she's made her share of bad movies, she's one of the smartest people in Hollywood.
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Reply #3 posted 12/16/04 9:47pm

sosgemini

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http://urbanlegends.about...091797.htm


By David Emery

Okay, it's time to deal with it. I've put it off as long as I can.

I don't mean to be cranky about this, but it's a fact that whenever I meet someone and confess I write about urban legends, the first question that always pops out of their mouth is: "What about that thing with Richard Gere and the gerbil? Is it true?"

You learn a lot about human nature in this business. Or should I say, a lot of your worst suspicions about human nature are confirmed time and time again.

For instance, people everywhere are ravenous for gossip about sex. Weird sex. The weirder the better.

When I first began writing this piece I checked the list of Top Ten Urban Legends that was then published weekly by the AFU & Urban Legends Archive. "Gerbilling" ranked Number One out of hundreds of legends and hoaxes on every possible topic, with nearly double the hits of the nearest runners-up. The nearest runners-up, incidentally, had to do with penis length and a recorded phone conversation in which Prince Charles allegedly uttered the word "Tampax."

How many here already know what "gerbilling" is? Raise your hands...

See what I mean? (I am going to answer that question about Richard Gere. Be patient!)

What I'm trying to hammer home here is that, as a species, we're obsessed with sex, the lot of us. That obsession sometimes outstrips our capacity for rational thought and makes us a wee bit gullible in the face of lurid gossip.

So. How many here already know what "gerbilling" is? Raise your hands.

Okay. Now, how many of you actually believe that anyone really does this sort of thing on a regular basis?

I see. Well, shame on you.

For those of you still sitting on your hands, here's a definition: "Gerbilling" (sometimes known as "gerbil-stuffing") is the practice, always attributed to gay men, of inserting a live rodent into one's rectum (or that of a partner) for erotic pleasure.

And what are the facts about gerbilling? In reality, it's not a known "practice" of any group of people, gay or otherwise. And while it's certainly possible – even likely – that someone, somewhere in the history of humanity has tried such a thing, it is not, if I may repeat myself, a common erotic pastime in any known culture or subculture.

The burden of proof is on those who claim it is.



If you ask me, these rumors are purely homophobic in origin. The Internet, to single out just one arena of popular culture, is rife with them. The stories are always supplemented with comments like, "Believe it or not, homosexuals really do this sort of thing!"

Oh, yeah? You know that for a fact? Based on what? Perhaps you'd like to offer some proof! Otherwise, it's just ignorance begetting ignorance. It borders on flat-out, blind bigotry.

Far be it from me to deny there are homosexuals who insert strange things into their rectums. The thing is, there are heterosexuals who do the exact same thing. In spite of what homophobics would have us believe, anal eroticism isn't unique to any one gender or "sexual orientation." In terms of sexual activities generally, the difference between straights and gays is not so much what they do, but with whom they choose to do it. And there's no evidence I'm aware of to show that homosexuals are any more inclined to sexually abuse animals than heterosexuals are. Correct me if I'm wrong.

End of lecture. On to Richard Gere.

The rumor that started all this fuss goes something like this:

When the surgery was over the medical team was sworn to secrecy (unsuccessfully, we must conclude)

Several years ago, "they" say, Mr. Gere was admitted into the emergency room of a Los Angeles hospital with a gerbil lodged in his rectum. Gere was alone when he arrived, some say, or with a partner (e.g., former girlfriend Cindy Crawford) according to others. It took a whole team of surgeons to extract the animal from Gere's posterior. Some variants say the gerbil was found to have been shaven and declawed; others claim the animal had been placed in a special plastic pouch. And some say the poor creature was Gere's own beloved pet, aptly named "Tibet." In any case, when the surgery was finally done the medical team was sworn to secrecy (unsuccessfully, we must conclude) and Gere went on his merry way, suffering no permanent damage other than to his reputation.

"Is it true?" you ask.

No, of course not.

Not a shred of evidence has ever been uncovered to support it. While Gere himself has never confirmed nor denied it — nor, indeed, spoken of it directly at all — neither has any credible witness come forward to give firsthand testimony proving it actually happened.

Because it didn't happen. It's an urban legend.



How and where did this rumor originate? No one knows for sure. It is known that shortly after Gere appeared in the film Pretty Woman and joined the media's hunk-of-the-month club, an anonymous hoaxer forged a Fax alert from the ASPCA deriding him for what it called "gerbil abuse." The accusation was circulated from one end of Hollywood to the other, and beyond. But whether this was the legend's actual point of origin is uncertain.
\
I don't believe a single word of it. There's no such thing as 'gerbilling.' \Why would someone invent such a story? For the same reasons any vicious rumor about a celebrity gets started. Movie stars are wealthy, powerful people, always in the public eye and always, therefore, the subject of envy. They're walking targets for defamation. There happen to exist in this world people who need to bolster their own self esteem by trying to grab a bit of fame and glory for themselves — that is, the illusion of it — by sullying other people's reputations. It's been so since time immemorial.

The Gere story bears every earmark of an urban legend. While the essential narrative has stayed consistent through the years, smaller details have varied and mutated, exactly as one would expect in a constantly retold story. It found its way into the mainstream of popular culture through the usual means, a long chain of person-to-person communications by word of mouth, fax, and email. And, like all classic urban legends, the tale conveys an implicit moral message, articulated half-facetiously by Cecil Adams as: "Stick to mammals your own size."

Lastly and most poignantly, the claim that the Gere story is authentic (with one odd and highly suspicious exception I've found — I'll get to it in a moment) always rests on the alleged personal experience of someone who was "there when it happened," but who happens to be at least two or three acquaintances removed from the person actually telling the story — "a friend of a friend."

Here are some verbatim examples culled from discussions in Internet forums:




"A friend of mine's aunt is a nurse at the Los Angeles hospital where Gere was brought into, and confirmed that he was brought in after "playing" with a gerbil. Several nurses on staff went to get his autograph, and were shocked when they discovered his condition."




"Over the Christmas holidays I was talking to my sister about Urban Legends and the Richard Gere gerbeling incident came up. Her friend swears she was there at Cedar Cyni (someone help me with the spelling) in Los Angeles when it happened."


Most everyone I've questioned who reports having heard the story offers some variation of the same litany: "I know someone who knows someone who was in that hospital when it happened." There must have been a hundred thousand people on duty that night.


have also, as I hinted earlier, come across one atypical "first person" account of the Gere/gerbil story on the Internet. You'd think the testimonial you're about to read would be worth its weight in gold, but, sadly, its source is about as credible as your average tobacco company executive. Read on...

I was very disappointed to hear Mike Walker deny this story (perhaps for the legal reasons he mentioned?), tarnishing his integrity (if that's possible for a gossip journalist/broadcaster).
In 1990 I worked at the West Hollywood hospital where late one spring night Richard Gere was admitted to the emergency room with a retained gerbil up his arse. Best joke to quickly make the hospital rounds later that day: 'How come gerbils don't drive? Because they can't get out of Gere.'

So anytime a gossip journalist denies the Richard Gerbil story, I check him/her off the trustworthy list.

It's tempting enough to dismiss this firsthand report for the bad joke alone, but much more damning is where it originally appeared: in the alt.fan.howard-stern newsgroup. Howard Stern, for those who may not know, was radio's original "shock jock" and remains a consistent purveyor of half-baked rumors and scurrilous urban legends on his syndicated talk show. He also has a loyal and mischievous following of fans, denizens of this very newsgroup, who revel in staging public pranks and put-ons. It's ill-advised to take anything posted in the newsgroup seriously.

But enough of this baloney. If you haven't had your fill of rodents, rectums and Richard Gere, do visit the Gerbilling department of the AFU & Urban Legends Archive, where a crack team of urban legend experts labors ceaselessly to dislodge the truth for you. Sex columnist Dan Savage doesn't mince words either when it comes to debunking myths about gays and gerbils.

And if you'd to bone up on the sorts of things all kinds of folks really do put in their hineys for fun, go (if you dare) to the Rectal Foreign Bodies home page and have a look around. It's an eye-opener.
Space for sale...
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Reply #4 posted 12/16/04 9:57pm

RipHer2Shreds

sosgemini said:

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/weekly/aa091797.htm

Some variants say the gerbil was found to have been shaven and declawed; others claim the animal had been placed in a special plastic pouch. And some say the poor creature was Gere's own beloved pet, aptly named "Tibet."

falloff
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Reply #5 posted 12/16/04 10:01pm

CliffClaven

This is crazy.
[Edited 12/16/04 22:02pm]
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Reply #6 posted 12/16/04 10:14pm

applekisses

A) I worship snopes.com

B) Has Madartista seen this thread? lol
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Reply #7 posted 12/16/04 10:15pm

CliffClaven

applekisses said:

A) I worship snopes.com

B) Has Madartista seen this thread? lol


I agree - snopes is one of the best places to go on the world wide web. In a side note - hello applekisses....the name's cliff...nice to meet you.
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Reply #8 posted 12/16/04 10:32pm

applekisses

CliffClaven said:

applekisses said:

A) I worship snopes.com

B) Has Madartista seen this thread? lol


I agree - snopes is one of the best places to go on the world wide web. In a side note - hello applekisses....the name's cliff...nice to meet you.



woot! SNOPES!

Hi Cliff wave Are you sure we haven't met somewhere before? hmmm
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Reply #9 posted 12/17/04 3:39am

VoicesCarry

Jamie Lee kicks ass. That is all.
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Reply #10 posted 12/17/04 6:32am

JediMaster

avatar

Ahhh, two of the greatest urban legends about celebrities EVER!! Good job, guys!

I'd like to add a few:

Who can forget the rumour that Rod Stewart was admitted to a hospital complaining of stomach pains. When the doctors pumped his stomach, they found A GALLON OF SEMEN?!?!?!?!? omfg Ummm, yeah. Sure. Is it even possible for anyone to suck enough cock in one evening to get a gallon's worth? And, being that its a fluid, wouldn't the body digest that pretty quickly? Like, too quickly for a gallon to amass in the digestive system? Pretty stupid. I would like to point out that every few years this legend mutates into a different celeb. In my lifetime, I've heard it about David Lee Roth, Michael Jackson and Marilyn Manson.

Speaking of Mr. Manson, howzabout some of the silly stories about him? Like the one that he had two of his ribs removed so he could suck his own dick?? Who's the quack doctor who would actually perform this surgery??? He must work at the same hospital that admitted Richard Gere and Rod Stewart. Oh, and what about the one where he was the nerdy kid on The Wonder Years? (even though that was a completely different person, and the ages don't match, but okeydokey).

While we're discussing rockers who supposedly were former child stars, let's not forget about the classic that Billy Corgan is, in fact, the boy from 80's schlocky syndicated sitcom Small Wonder? Wow! Was Courtney Love also Blair on The Facts Of Life??

I knew one guy who swore up and down that he knew FOR A FACT that Jodie Foster was actually born male, but her parents had her sex changed (methinks this is a mutation of the Jamie Lee story). I guess he was acually working in the hospital when the procedure was performed? Probably the same hospital that admitted Richard Gere and Rod Stewart.

Keep 'em coming folks, these are too good.
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #11 posted 12/17/04 6:41am

RipHer2Shreds

JediMaster said:

Who can forget the rumour that Rod Stewart was admitted to a hospital complaining of stomach pains. When the doctors pumped his stomach, they found A GALLON OF SEMEN?!?!?!?!? omfg Ummm, yeah. Sure. Is it even possible for anyone to suck enough cock in one evening to get a gallon's worth? And, being that its a fluid, wouldn't the body digest that pretty quickly? Like, too quickly for a gallon to amass in the digestive system? Pretty stupid.

I remember seeing an interview with Cher several years back, and she mentioned this rumor. She said something about being at that same party where it supposedly happened, and she didn't recall seeing him go down on anybody. lol
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Reply #12 posted 12/17/04 6:46am

endorphin74

lol It amazes me what people will believe!
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Reply #13 posted 12/17/04 6:48am

JediMaster

avatar

RipHer2Shreds said:

JediMaster said:

Who can forget the rumour that Rod Stewart was admitted to a hospital complaining of stomach pains. When the doctors pumped his stomach, they found A GALLON OF SEMEN?!?!?!?!? omfg Ummm, yeah. Sure. Is it even possible for anyone to suck enough cock in one evening to get a gallon's worth? And, being that its a fluid, wouldn't the body digest that pretty quickly? Like, too quickly for a gallon to amass in the digestive system? Pretty stupid.

I remember seeing an interview with Cher several years back, and she mentioned this rumor. She said something about being at that same party where it supposedly happened, and she didn't recall seeing him go down on anybody. lol


Can you imagine? There would have to be guys lined up around the block to get a blow-job from Rod!!
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #14 posted 12/17/04 9:06am

CliffClaven

applekisses said:

CliffClaven said:



I agree - snopes is one of the best places to go on the world wide web. In a side note - hello applekisses....the name's cliff...nice to meet you.



woot! SNOPES!

Hi Cliff wave Are you sure we haven't met somewhere before? hmmm


shhh
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Reply #15 posted 12/17/04 9:12am

sag10

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Hermie!!! Is this about 2the9s? giggle



.
[Edited 12/17/04 9:13am]
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown
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Reply #16 posted 12/17/04 9:50am

sosgemini

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Donna Summer was born as a man named “Charles Thomas Walker” in Detroit, Michigan.
Space for sale...
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Reply #17 posted 12/17/04 9:53am

FunkMistress

avatar

Anxiety said:

i'm really proud of JLC for not confirming or denying the rumor. she's a badass of the highest degree - there were red carpet clips of her on VH1 and she doesn't take shit from any of the reporters or paparazzi, and she's a hilarious smart-ass to boot...you'd have to be, i guess, to be married to christopher guest! (that's her hubby, right?)

and really, intersexuality is more common than most people may think. it's not such a scandalous thing, and really, it's nobody's freakin' business.



nod

Exactly. All of it. Anxy, stop making me want to be you.
CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.
The Normal Whores Club
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Reply #18 posted 12/17/04 10:08am

ReturnOfDOOK

Well, he's not really a celebrity per se, but there's that whole Urban Legend that Anxiety is an 18 year old female (at least that's what I think when I'm pleasuring myself to his posts).
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Reply #19 posted 12/17/04 10:09am

FunkMistress

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ReturnOfDOOK said:

Well, he's not really a celebrity per se, but there's that whole Urban Legend that Anxiety is an 18 year old female (at least that's what I think when I'm pleasuring myself to his posts).


hmm Now that you mention it, in person he does look a little....nothing like an 18 year old girl.
CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.
The Normal Whores Club
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Reply #20 posted 12/17/04 10:16am

Handclapsfinga
snapz

FunkMistress said:

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Well, he's not really a celebrity per se, but there's that whole Urban Legend that Anxiety is an 18 year old female (at least that's what I think when I'm pleasuring myself to his posts).


hmm Now that you mention it, in person he does look a little....nothing like an 18 year old girl.

giggle
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Reply #21 posted 12/17/04 10:17am

Taureau

avatar

Anxiety said:

and really, intersexuality is more common than most people may think. it's not such a scandalous thing, and really, it's nobody's freakin' business.


Yeah you're right. I heard that she had a Y chromosome (i.e. XXY), which doesn't necessarily mean she would have male anatomical bits, but hormones could go loopy during adolescence. But anyway who cares nod

ok i just read ALL that article and it mentions it doh!
[Edited 12/17/04 10:18am]
jerkoff.....drool BULLSEYE! cool
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Reply #22 posted 12/17/04 10:18am

ReturnOfDOOK

FunkMistress said:

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Well, he's not really a celebrity per se, but there's that whole Urban Legend that Anxiety is an 18 year old female (at least that's what I think when I'm pleasuring myself to his posts).


hmm Now that you mention it, in person he does look a little....nothing like an 18 year old girl.


Stop! Don't ruin it for me! This is all I have! sad
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Reply #23 posted 12/17/04 11:12am

RipHer2Shreds

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Well, he's not really a celebrity per se, but there's that whole Urban Legend that Anxiety is an 18 year old female (at least that's what I think when I'm pleasuring myself to his posts).

lol
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Reply #24 posted 12/17/04 11:14am

RipHer2Shreds

Anxiety said:

and really, intersexuality is more common than most people may think. it's not such a scandalous thing, and really, it's nobody's freakin' business.

On a semi-related note, Middlesex is an amazing book on this very topic!
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Reply #25 posted 12/17/04 11:42am

Slave2daGroove

I say whatever happens between a man and his shaved, declawed, defanged, gerbil using a toliet paper roll with a flame at the open end, is his own business.
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Reply #26 posted 12/17/04 12:52pm

JediMaster

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Of course, the celeb with the greatest number of rumours about him has to be Michael Jackson. His weirdo behavior just lent an air of believability to stories like "Michael sleeps in air chamber" and "MJ goes door-to-door in disguise to witness for the JWs".

Who would ever believe back then that his real life was far stranger?
jedi

Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
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Reply #27 posted 12/17/04 6:58pm

Anxiety

i like the 'celebrity legend' about courtney love locking kurt cobain in a dark room with michael stipe, because c.lo wanted kurt to have a gay experience.

of course, i think i heard courtney tell that story, so i guess it doesn't count as a 'legend'. lol
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Reply #28 posted 12/17/04 9:53pm

RipHer2Shreds

Anxiety said:

i like the 'celebrity legend' about courtney love locking kurt cobain in a dark room with michael stipe, because c.lo wanted kurt to have a gay experience.

of course, i think i heard courtney tell that story, so i guess it doesn't count as a 'legend'. lol

I was gonna say, I read an interview with her, and she was saying those things.
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