Mine is through laughter and avoidance.
The shell is very strong.



[Edited 12/19/04 16:46pm]

Any way I can...

Usually by taking on way too many responsibilities, acting really hyper, or simply avoiding people and hiding, or acting really hostile if people try to call attention to it.

I have a very thick shell sometimes...

asking people about themselves. it takes the focus off me. when people want to know about me-i kinda clam up-or work on wood projects. no one talks to someone using tools

Mine's very thin. I use avoidance quite a lot. And action.

I have the thickest shell ever right now, I'm untouchable,

How did i construct it, well i got hurt really badly and the shell is really all that remains of me. People try to get to me to help and i can't let them in i don't want them to know how fragile, hurt and destroyed i am.

lollyp0p said:

You're a strong person, you'll be fine

AndGodCreatedMe said:

I'm sure i will be, i just can't see it yet. thanks petra you are very sweet

lollyp0p said:

I know how U feel.

U can trust me on this one.

I tend to avoid conflict with my friends and family at all cost. If someone is critical of me, I generally shut down completely and refuse to talk about the situation, assuming it will pass. And it usually does. Not the healthiest, but it gets me by usually.
And I tend to let very few people really get to know me. I have lots of friends, but only a few with whom I feel really close. I like my alone time.
I tend to avoid relationships as well. I do this easily by spending my energy having crushes on people who (I feel) are unavailable to me, for whatever reason. The funny thing with that one is, when I get the guts to speak up about my crush, I find out they aren't as unavailable as I originally thought and then I really get into trouble cause I don't know how to really have a relationship. I've spent so much of my life "alone" I don't really know how to give of myself in that capacity.

Wow. I was so serious there.

CarrieMpls said:

I LOVE BEING ALONE.
I mean even when I have one of my usually disasterous relationships, I have to have tons of me time. I simply don't know how to work through my issues with other people, and I'd rather do them myself. When I'm stressed, you'll never hear about them--I run and run and run until I've resolved my problems, before coming back to you. It's as if I don't want to burden you with "ME", and I want you to only see one side of me--the happy one.

In some ways, those closest to me see me as a tragic figure, someone to recieve pity. Very perplexing becuase it's not like I'm some ugly quazimoto creature that needs to hide in the bell tower--I just need to be alone alot.

As for being emotionally unavailable--I don't seek that out, but I tend to be just that kind of person--absent. I have actually gone weeks without speaking to people. Very strange becuase I'm a riot at nightclubs and parties sometimes...but on my own time, with my own schedule.

[Edited 12/19/04 13:09pm]

lollyp0p said:

I'm glad you're still around. Sorry to hear you feel so bad, wish I could do something, if you know how I could tell me, if you don't know either hang in there. Know you are loved even by people that don't know you that well.

For me it used to be by being so rude and mean to people 99% of them left me alone. The remaining percent were my friends, who stayed despite the way I acted. Then I changed it to being so honest with people when they for example asked how I was, and that scared them away instead so I was left alone. Then the shell grew softer, but of course the core did as well so then I started getting hurt. Then I hurt people right back much worse than they had me, so they left me alone... See a pattern?
Now I'm trying to not be like I have been but it's hellahard. Staying around people long enough to find out if I like them and they like me is nerve wrecking, I still freak out in irregular intervals. I've gotten better at saying I'm wrong and the magic "I am sorry", and that has improved my life immensely.

I, like you AsianBomb like to be alone, I always have. When I was a child I'd rather sit inside reading a book than go out to play, and even in crowds I am solitary, a fly on the wall kind of person. I don't do well at parties cos I tend to float apart from people and I often end up leaving without people noticing.

lollyp0p said:

...all I can say is I'll be there for you, hon, when you do want to let us in I'll be waiting

Teacher said:

Same here.

Avoiding most social situations

simple detachment


serves one well when invited in


Peace !!

AsianBomb777 said:

If I'm really upset with myself over something I shut the world out for a few days and completely drop out of everything. Turn off my phone, or stop answering. Don't leave the house. Don't talk to anyone. If I'm upset about something other than myself, I can talk about it for hours with a few good people. I just don't want to burden people either. And somehow, I refuse to believe that anyone would really care...

And there are nights when I can be the belle of the ball, the quintessential party girl, social butterfly extraordinaire and other nights when I'll shoot venom from my eyes for someone who mught suggest I snap out of it and have some fun. But I've learned to just stay home when I feel like that.

Interesting, the things we do.

My shell...i dont think i have a shell but over time, from feelin thwarted back and forth, i have discovered how to be frank without sounding offensive. It's tactful, it's about wording what you think and feel and sayin whyz and whatz. It seems to work very well for me, and i think i'll stick to dat.

Why do you have JD's pic as your avatar...PS I am no freakin turtle so I do not have a shell and I do not do construction either.

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

U got a shell.

U believe me, U got a shell.

Only sluts don't have shells, and that's only a small percentage of sluts.

I don't have one. I really don't.

AsianBomb777 said:

How do you know I am not a slut?

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

Dook has not tried to get in your pants yet. He normally stalks orgers he thinks are easy.