CookieMonster said:

No Herman. That isn't what I said.

I don't think or "see" kissing a man as anything. When I'm in love with somebody I don't "think" at all. Thinking has nothing to do with it. Somebody whom does think about what other people may think obviously isn't that much in love with the person they are in a relationship with.

I was talking about the heterosexual majority's perception of homosexual intimacy when I used the word "political". So long as there are still laws in place (which discriminate against people whom identify their sexual orientation as being non-heterosexual), then it's political. To me, holding hands with somebody you love is affection.

Personally, if I could put something in the water to make every gay or bisexual person's hair turn bright green - I would.

A lot of the time, homophobia is a prison of our own design. So long as there are men and women whom choose to hide their true feelings, it feeds into the myth that homosexuality is perverse, amoral, unnatural and wrong. If everybody in the world came out tomorrow, it wouldn't be an issue.

CookieMonster said:

I don't.

I just couldn't understand why I couldn't hold hands with somebody I love in a restaurant.

If I was talking about a woman and I said that everytime I went to kiss them or hold hands with them, they pulled away, you would agree with me that the person is a cunt.

BinaryJustin said:

When you're in public, doing stuff like that, you never know when some hyper-christian nutcase is gonna spot it and come running over and give you some inane lecture about how evil and disgusting you are.

Yes, I agree, same sex couples should be free to show simple signs of affection in public, just as heterosexual couples do, without reprimand. But we're not there yet where everyone is relaxed and accepting of same sex relationships. Sometimes gay couples may not want to be bothered with a possible confontation with anyone at that moment, and just want to enjoy their time together.

There's also people who are somewhat cool with it all, but actually seeing gay folks making out, is a bit too much for them. Not wanting to do stuff like that in public might not necessarily mean that someone is ashamed of it, but rather they're just trying to be a little considerate of others around them. We're not all on the same page these days, maybe 10-20 years from now, the climate will be more accepting.

I'm not that touchy feely either and certainly not in restaurants or
public places. I just can't stand it whenever a guy grabs my hand or
even puts their arm around me in a restaurant or cinema.

I freak out when that happens. I'm usually very comfortable with myself
and with being gay and would gladly admit that I am to anyone who came
up to me and asked.

However, I feel very uncomfortable being in a restaurant and having a
guy just hold my hand or touch me or *ugh* try to feed me lol.

That makes other people stare and makes me not want to be in that place
anymore at all. It makes me so uncomfortable that I don't even notice
the person anymore that I'm with or the conversation we're having.

And that's nothing to do with some internal homophobia, it's just to do
with me being a very private person. Whenever I attract attention in a
place for whatever reason I feel uncomforatble and ashamed.

Let alone when I'm walking down the street with a guy and he takes my
hand or touches me intimately or something in broad daylight where
everyone can see.

Previous boyfriends would hug me in a bus or on the train, or try to
take hold of my hand out on the street whilst we were walking 3 ft in
front of a 25 head hooligan crowd and shit like that.

I think a lot of guys do it just to provoke a reaction and I don't
like that. In fact, I hate it. If it's really just an occasional case
of someone having an outburst of jitters and grabbing a hold of you
cuz they feel very happy at that moment then I'm okay with that. But
please don't try to prove a point or take a stand through me



But it's not just same sex affection I get disgusted as well when
I'm at a restaurant and there are guys who just can't leave their
girlfriend's hands or ass or neck or hair or whatever well enough
alone.

Or those couples that smooch and kiss and *god forbid* french kiss in
public places.



I think that's just bad taste. Don't even ask me why, I just feel that
it's something you're not supposed to do. Well not unless you're 16 or
something and even then it's sorta tacky.

To be honest I'd rather have couples have a hardcore full on fuck on
the table next to me in a restaurant than to have those lipsmoochers
sitting there cuddling and kissing and whispering and laughing all
nite long.

To cut a long rant short: the only time you'll see me hugging and
cuddling on the street is when some cute puppy comes along.

Tom said:

I'm sorry but if some nutter even suspects you of being the slightest bit faggy, they'll have a problem with you just breathing - let alone touching another man's arm or whatever.

I'm not a touchy-feely person. I don't want to mince down the street holding hands like Dorothy, the Tin-Man and all. It's just that when I have absent-mindedly grabbed out for somebody else's hand I don't want somebody to freak out at me. With my last partner, it was three occasions over two months - I'm hardly a fucking octopus.

I'll kiss whomever I want, wherever I want and if any spectator had a problem with that, I'd wrap the nearest chair around their head. I'm not above defending myself.

Why be "considerate" of other people? Considerate for what? Who gives a flying shit about other people's phobias?

Next time you walk down a street, look at how many straight couples are holding hands or have their arms around one another - or whatever. Really, really look. The fact is that you've grown so immune to this behaviour being "normal" that you don't even notice it unless you look for it.

Tom said:

Hiphip hurray for Holland. I never had to suffer religious nutters that way!

IstenSzek said:

And attention due to the fact yer an awfully cute guy? That okay?

GooeyTheHamster said:

well that would make me blush

IstenSzek said:

Awww. That would make you even cuter....

Then again.... you did not even show on my birthday last year....

GooeyTheHamster said:

I'm so very sorry. I will show this next birthday!

I've just had to deal with a lot this year and I've

not had that much time for "me".

But next year is gonna be all about studdying and

workin and in my time off from those, doing the

stuff I usually never do.

so beware

Zelaira said:

What....? To Play...?

Depends if his Mommy and Daddy allow him to

Janfriend said:

i think there's common displays of affection, and then i think there are PUBLIC displays of affection. when i see someone leaning up against their sweetie, or holding hands, or something simple like that, it just tells me that they're fond of each other and that they're comforted by each other. now, when i see people mowing down on each other's tonsils in the middle of a restaurant and getting all stank and nasty with each other at the bus stop, that's when someone needs to turn the hose on 'em, cuz nobody needs to see that stuff. this has nothing to do with gay or straight - it just has to do with tact.

Anxiety said:

I U

Now I will kiss your feet in public, LoL

Anxiety said:

I love to see public displays of affection.. It gives me hope for humanity..

Mach said:

Personally I don't think it's anyone else's business whether a gay person comes out or not.

We do like to categorise people and have them fit into the stereotypes we create for them but no two people have the same thoughts and experiences, so "to each his own". We should become more tolerant of the decisions other people make, and less judgemental.

Also, it seems strange that we feel the need for gay people to come out to us and yet we don't feel that it's necessary to straight people to tell us about their sexual experiences and thoughts. Double standards.

sag10 said:

i do too, but i don't like seeing people concieving a baby at the taco bell.

well if your family is a bunch of haters and bashers no, but why not come out its who you are.

Anxiety said:

That is extreme.. Your avatar is festive.


A person should come out when they feel the time is right for them.. Tis nobody's business but theirs...

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and sexuality; for there are only two mistakes one can make along the road to the hole of your choosing: not going all the way, and not starting.

True that is OWN's Own Business. I want and I think anyone who can help with Organizations whether they are GAY or STRAIGHT...AIDS is what we should all help to Prevent. HIV and Breast Cancer and PETA. GREAT Charity Work. I feel if a Man I LOVED was Gay he should COME OUT! However , well that is his Business and well Showbiz has Many Gay Celebs so That isn't any Issue. In Regular Life as we are NOT Celebs I think Men should Tell their Wives or Girlfriends because Once you sleep with them or have kids and Then find out well it's too late if you don't wanna share.

Zelaira said:

Don't forget testicular and prostate cancer too, Zel.

Anxiety said:

YEAH ANYWAY

YOU BE ALL KIND OF THING NOT JUST ONE THING!

LIKE HOW POOK MONKEY

BUT POOK ALSO FUNKY!

SO WHICH ONE POOK?

POOK FUNKY MONKEY SILLY!

IstenSzek said:

POOK said:

Yes, but Pook, I think we need to draw a distinction between sexual orientation and sexual identity. I think people are getting confused.

You could have a bisexual orientation but a homosexual identity or a homosexual orientation with a homosexual identity or a bisexual orientation with a heterosexual identity...

In any case, the orientation will always remain with certain parameters whereas your identity is completely changeable.

Zelaira said:

Embrace your manhood, Zelaira. Do not be afraid. It will continue to function whether your attire be skirt or trousers. The path to the hole of your choosing is of no consequence to the minds of others. You choose the brown pill in a world dominated by pink pills, but do not be afrain my son. Think of yourself not as a man trapped inside the cage, but as a man who judges who can enter.

BinaryJustin said:

i don't know that i'd agree with that. i think one's sexuality has the capacity to be completely fluid. i don't know if there's much of a distinction between one's sexual orientation and one's sexual identity.

I think that people should do what's right for their life. For me, coming out was the best thing I could ever have done for myself.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes and I suggest Zelaira get it over with and do the same

BinaryJustin said:

YOU MEAN IF YOU BINARY BUT PEOPLE THINK YOU GAY?

THAT CONFUSE POOK

MAYBE YOU JUST BE JUSTIN!

AND IT ONLY MATTER TO GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND

ive heard loads of excuses for not coming out - 'unfair to older relatives', 'upset the relationship i have with whoever' and although it bugs me that they are not being themselves in order to please someone elses bigotry and ignorance, i accept it is their decision.

If someone was going to 'out' me when i was 16, i would have been afraid of the consequences with friends, family, school etc. Maybe because i had no-one around me to back my argument up that it was ok. There was loads of discrimination back in the mid 80s from every angle it seemed, even from left wing comdeians eager to critisize racism.

But over time i have met hypocrites (many married) who go down gay bars and pick up areas, that want their cake and eat it. They are homophobic at work (stating it proudly) as if they have the luxury of being seen as straight and get their kicks by taking a small detour on the way home, or by saying they have to work late and go shag someone in the spare time.

So the only people who should come out are those who are publicly homophobic. I agree with Outrage on this issue. The rest - when they feel comfortable or happy in themselves.