What If a Man was GAY or Bi-Sexual but Now is Primarily STRAIGHT? And do you think Many Gay men Experiment? I actually Know several who Married and had Affairs and well had Kids and then went back to their Male Friend. What do you think?

Are you trying to tell us something?

i think

to each his own

whatever works for them

they have to live within their own skin and look at themselves in the mirror ...

who am i to say what another should do

sag10 said:

sag10 said:

we all know zelaira is a gay man trapped in a zany woman's body.

seriously, i think a person should define their identity at the rate and by the terms that they see fit. i spent several years of my youth getting comfortable with who i was and playing around with different identities, and enjoying them to the fullest. it was kinda like playing around with the radio dial until you get the right reception or when ya keep tilting a picture you just hung because you wanna get it JUST right...it can take a while, and nobody should pressure anyone into conforming to something they're not ready to define themselves as.

and with some people, it isn't just as simple as being "gay" or "bi" or whatever. some people go through all kinds of different phases, and for them, those phases are their reality. some people are harder to define, and it's not because they wanna be difficult or whatever - it's just what they like. i think people should just be what they are, whenever they're ready and in the mood to be whatever that is.

suck one cock and all of a sudden...you're a cock sucker



embrace you're inner one (whatever that may be. cock sucker or otherwise)

Anxiety said:

well said, anxiety!

Anxiety said:

if only my mom's side of the family would pay heed to this stuff when it comes to me...

Anxiety said:

co sign

thx Anx

Zelaira said:

If someone is gay it's that person's OWN business and you should keep your nose out of it.

It's about privacy.

Did you just watch Mambo Italiano or something?

Zelaira said:

(ssb edited something mean about sentence coherence)

I think that evey one has to come out on their own time in their own way. I think that if a guy is married to a woman and is cheating on her with other men (happens way more often than you think ), I think that's wrong and is not fair to his wife or himself. But still I think that is his own inner struggle, and only he can answer to it. It is a shame that these guys don't feel comfortable to come out, but that's their thing.

It's funny this issue is really big here in San Fran. I know gay guys who keep them selves closeted ...here...I just don't get it. Or I know about specail "get togethers" that happen monthly and you HAVE to be married to a woman in order to attend these discreet parties. I mean these guys are gay and live in a city where "Hey it's OK to be Gay" yet are so conflicted, they simply can't come out.
[Edited 12/14/04 13:08pm]

I think you should stop being such a fuckin'

hey, i read that book. it was good!

Anxiety said:

I haven't read it but it was the first thing that came up
when I googled "fuckin fag hag"

IstenSzek said:

raveon2tnek said:

I agree.

I don't have any time whatsoever for closet cases. I'm not saying you should wear your homosexuality around your neck like a medallion, but if somebody asks - tell.

If every person whom has had a homosexual experience actually admitted it, I really don't think that it would be such a big deal anymore.

No one should be out if they don't want to be and nobody has the right to make someone feel that they SHOULD be out

Janfriend said:

It all depends on your definition of "out".

My last boyfriend pulled his hand away from me when we were sat in a restaurant last June. It caused an almighty argument.

His view was that he didn't feel comfortable expressing his emotions because there were kids in the restaurant... I was not impressed. It wasn't like I was fisting him over the hors deurves.

After we split up, he texed me in August, asking if I wanted to meet up at Manchester's Pride festival. I avoid those things like the plague.

He'd only ever want us to go to gay bars, watch gay films, watch tv shows with gay characters in. I was suffocating in a huge gay bubble. But when it came to holding hands or kissing in the street he became this cagey non-committal asexual robot.

His behaviour made me feel dirty and ashamed.

It's far more of a political statement for two men to kiss in a department store than to march around a puffy la-la land in your underwear, wearing rainbow flags.

BinaryJustin said:

Well, as for the affection in public, I don't believe in showing affection in public and you know him, of course, and I don't, so I'm sure if the reason was solely because you were two men. I would probably make anyone I'm with feel ashamed and dirty because I think it's inappropriate, straight or gay.

Janfriend said:

What is wrong with two people holding hands?

BinaryJustin said:

ok, well, holding hands I can tolerate to some extent, but nothing else and there are times when I don't think people should hold hands, Is it necessary to show EVERYBODY who you are with? Romantic relationships should be private

Janfriend said:

Haven't you ever just been so completely overwhelmed by love that you just want to grab your partner spotaneously?

BinaryJustin said:

No.

Janfriend said:

i dont agree with you one bit, i was with this chic last night just taking a walk and she just grabbed me spontaneously.i had to be nice about it and grabbed her back too even when i dont feel love for her.the thing is we had sex a long time ago and that connection is her basis for her tactile familiarity.
so to just stiffen or refuse her grab her back would amount to impudence!

raveon2tnek said:

Well, I don't get that close or I pull away

Raha, people should respect your thoughts on intimacy, but many people just judge others on what THEY think is proper. Fact is, people are not the same and where Justin seems to crave intimacy in public, you seem confident enough to not need it.

That's no problem. You cannot force your own thoughts on someone else if they are not comfortable with something.

It's the same with being OUT. Some people are not ready. I realise there are many different cases. People who are in relationships should be honest to at least their partner if they harbour any other sexual thoughts besides their partner.

People who are famous; leave them the fuck alone. Just cuz you are out n proud does not mean they have to. They are not obliged to the Big Gay Movement just cuz they like guys (or girls). I for one do not feel the need to wave rainbow flags at every occasion or wear D&G or like Madonna just because I am gay.

So everyhting is subjective. It's all down to every person on it's own.

BinaryJustin said:

As soon as you see kissing as a political statement it ain't intimacy anymore, now is it?

I agree on the rest, btw. But intimacy is not there to be flaunted because you want to make a statement, let it be a "gay"-statement or a "he's with me"-statement.