tackam said: Ugh.
I understand that kids don't have off-buttons. You can't just "make them stop." Different kids do have different temperments; I don't think I ever threw a fit in public when I was old enough to understand the word "no", but my sister. . .man. Nightmare. And we were raised by the same two people! ![]() And when I go to certain places (family and/or fast-food restaurants, kids movies, Disneyland, malls) I expect there will be kids there. Sometimes I even enjoy watching them. Rarely, but it happens! ![]() However. I think parents have to realize that having kids comes with some sacrafices, including NOT going to certain places with the kids (eg. nice restaurants, most movies, many cafes and bookstores, etc.). And unless you are at Chuck-E-Cheese, the kids don't get to run around and make noise as a way of "keeping them busy." If they can't sit and be quiet, and that's what is required at that sort of establishment, then you need to either not go there or accept that sometimes you will have to leave early, meaning that you spent money on something you won't get to enjoy. Sorry, but what's fair: you don't get to enjoy a meal you paid for because of YOUR kids, or I don't get to enjoy a meal I paid for because of YOUR kids? Example: I went to a fairly nice restaurant last night with my husband. We're talking cloth napkins, candlelight, and $18 entrees, but no dress code or valet parking. Follow me? Now, this place has a large dining room with booth seating, and then a smaller, more romantic room closed off from the dining room. The smaller room is prettier and quieter. When you come in, they ask you where you want to sit. So we go to sit in that room, and what do you know, there are two little kids running in circles around the fountain in the middle! DAMMIT! Why would you take your kids into the pretty room? There was plenty of space in the dining room. Answer: the parents didn't give a fuck about anybody else, THEY wanted to sit in the pretty room. Sorry, you decided to breed, you don't get to sit in pretty rooms for 12 or 15 years. That's your problem. Don't make it mine. AND, repeat after me: employees are NOT BABYSITTERS. Working reception at a vet hospital, parents made us deal with their bratty kids constantly. They would make noise, freak out the animals, make a mess of the lobby, and parents acted like it was our job to watch the kids while they were in appointments and clean up after they left. Fuck that! If your sick dog pukes, fine, I'll clean it up. This is a business for sick dogs. But if your sick kid pukes, clean it up your own damn self. I can be sympathetic when kids are being noisy/cranky in public and parents are stuck and are trying to deal with it (public transportation is a good example), but in situations where parents are basically being selfish and inconsiderate. . .grrr. . . Your feelings are very understandable and believe me, I don't take my kid to every restaurant (I'm not stupid). However, Red Robin IS a very family themed restaurant....Helicopters hanging from the ceiling, crayons, play area. So, even if I was there without my son and I saw another kid acting up there, I would not be upset about it. You can't expect to go to that type of restaurant and NOT encounter kids. I realize that everyone has their own opinions on the matter and how they would handle the situation. ![]() Smooches;) | |
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AzureStarr said: psychodelicide said: True, I understand that it's not the right thing to do in public, but there are ways to handle kids who misbehave. I don't have kids, but I have watched my brother and his sister-in-law discipline their kids. If one of their kids misbehaves at my mom's house, for instance, instead of spanking them in front of everybody, they will take them into the bathroom or into another room to do it. Understandably, if you are out in a public place, there may not be a place in which to spank your child (if that is your way of disciplining kids, some people don't spank). But there are other ways to deal with it, as Handclaps said in her previous post. I have also noticed that my brother and sister-in-law don't tolerate it when their kids start hollering or making noise, they tell them to be quiet. The kids know that if they don't shut up, they will be punished. I know it's not easy to discipline kids, it's a 24/7 job, no doubt about that, but there are ways to get your kids to settle down and behave. Yes, there are many ways to get kids to settle down and behave... some kids just won't behave. What works for one child may not work for the next and so on. But, there are those children that, no matter what you try, simply will not listen. My friend's boy is a perfect example of this. His other children are very well-mannered, him and his wife are together and have raised their children in the same manner... this little boy of his, who is a complete terror, simply won't listen to anyone - his parents, the teachers, etc. He takes the punishment, what ever it is, and it means nothing to him. He knows that there isn't anything that anyone can do to him really, other than spanking, taking away this or that, or being sent to his room, etc.. In fact, he told the teacher that the other day, I guess when sent to the office. He told them that there wasn't anything that anyone could do to make him do his work. His parents are at wits end. I dunno... my whole thing is the reaction as if it isn't difficult at all to bring up a child who is well-behaved. Thankfully, I didn't have much of a problem with my two, but I see it happen and feel horrible for parents who are trying and it's simply not working. It's not always easy, like you said, but it can't always be corrected, and by no fault of the parents. Telling a child to stop "or else", doesn't always work and you can't always leave your child at home. (Pretty kitty, by the way, on the other thread) ![]() That is sad, when no matter what the parents do, the child will not behave. That's why you see so many people on the Dr. Phil show, asking for advice as to how to raise their kids right, since everything the parents have tried does not seem to be working. I feel for them too, they have it very rough, and I don't envy them one bit. You're right, what works for one child may not work for another, since all kids are different and react in different ways. I guess I'm used to seeing parents who know how to handle their kids and make them behave, but I know that that is not always the case. I realize that you can't always leave the child at home, since babysitters can be hard to find, so the kids come with you. Thanks for the compliment on my cat, I appreciate it. ![]() RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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MsMisha319 said: Your feelings are very understandable and believe me, I don't take my kid to every restaurant (I'm not stupid). However, Red Robin IS a very family themed restaurant....Helicopters hanging from the ceiling, crayons, play area. So, even if I was there without my son and I saw another kid acting up there, I would not be upset about it. You can't expect to go to that type of restaurant and NOT encounter kids. I realize that everyone has their own opinions on the matter and how they would handle the situation. ![]() Smooches;) Oh, I agree, Red Robin is a family restaurant. I think, at ANY restaurant, that there are times when the best thing is to pack up and leave, but if I go to Red Robin, I expect kids. Don't they even have a kids menu? I don't remember, I don't go there often. ![]() | |
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Okay, I didn't want to say this, 'cause of the "sensitive" people in here, but first off, I don't think you should keep your kids at home because of some beavioral issues. Despite what some of you believe, you CAN make your kids behave!!!!! Spare the rod.....get out that damn strap!!!!! For God's sake, tap that ass!!! You don't have to BEAT the kids, you don't have to strangle them, but get out a belt and TAP THAT ASS!!!!! It's just that simple!! Ghaaaaat-dayum!!!!! ![]() They did WHAT??!.... ![]() Org Sci-Fi Association | |
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tackam said: MsMisha319 said: Your feelings are very understandable and believe me, I don't take my kid to every restaurant (I'm not stupid). However, Red Robin IS a very family themed restaurant....Helicopters hanging from the ceiling, crayons, play area. So, even if I was there without my son and I saw another kid acting up there, I would not be upset about it. You can't expect to go to that type of restaurant and NOT encounter kids. I realize that everyone has their own opinions on the matter and how they would handle the situation. ![]() Smooches;) Oh, I agree, Red Robin is a family restaurant. I think, at ANY restaurant, that there are times when the best thing is to pack up and leave, but if I go to Red Robin, I expect kids. Don't they even have a kids menu? I don't remember, I don't go there often. ![]() I bet ![]() Smooches;) | |
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This is an interesting topic because I have never, and I do mean never, had to discpline my daughter past the age of 9 months. Mind you, I would be MORE than happy to lay that smack down across the back of those little legs, but I haven't had the need to. So, she has never had a tantrum, never asked for anything more than once, and even rarely did it then. I guess we just vibe so well, I know what she wants (I would stick with that, but I know all it takes is paying attention). So, as a reward for being how and who she is, she has always gotten a few things without asking. On the other hand, there are things she wanted that she didn't get and accepted it with no pouting. I SO love that little girl... ![]() She's 13 now and is VERY well mannered...my pride and joy for real. ![]() I am MrVictor.... | |
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I take my 2 kids (age 9 and 7) to every restaurant that we go to.
Even when they were younger,this never happened to me. I don't want to start to assume anything, so I just wish you luck. It sounds like you have your hands full. Thanks for the laughs, arguments and overall enjoyment for the last umpteen years. It's time for me to retire from Prince.org and engage in the real world...lol. Above all, I appreciated the talent Prince. You were one of a kind. | |
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kiss85 said: Okay, I didn't want to say this, 'cause of the "sensitive" people in here, but first off, I don't think you should keep your kids at home because of some beavioral issues. Despite what some of you believe, you CAN make your kids behave!!!!! Spare the rod.....get out that damn strap!!!!! For God's sake, tap that ass!!! You don't have to BEAT the kids, you don't have to strangle them, but get out a belt and TAP THAT ASS!!!!! It's just that simple!! Ghaaaaat-dayum!!!!!
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irresistibleb1tch said: kiss85 said: Okay, I didn't want to say this, 'cause of the "sensitive" people in here, but first off, I don't think you should keep your kids at home because of some beavioral issues. Despite what some of you believe, you CAN make your kids behave!!!!! Spare the rod.....get out that damn strap!!!!! For God's sake, tap that ass!!! You don't have to BEAT the kids, you don't have to strangle them, but get out a belt and TAP THAT ASS!!!!! It's just that simple!! Ghaaaaat-dayum!!!!!
![]() ![]() ![]() There's not enough violence if they are still misbehaving ![]() | |
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CinisterCee said: irresistibleb1tch said: ![]() ![]() There's not enough violence if they are still misbehaving ![]() My mom used to wrap duct tape around my mouth, tie my hands behind my back, and throw me in the trunk, while they went back and finished the meal. ![]() no, but she did force me to watch The Young & The Restless with her while she did laundry, if I was bad. | |
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My parents made me miss Solid Gold. Different punishments for different people. | |
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CinisterCee said: irresistibleb1tch said: ![]() ![]() There's not enough violence if they are still misbehaving ![]() A-men. ![]() They did WHAT??!.... ![]() Org Sci-Fi Association | |
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bkw said: JasmineFire said: i'm sayin'. get him the hell outta there. I truly believe that they should make restaurants with children and no-children sections. The children's section can all kinds of things that'll keep a kid occupied and should be surrounded by soundproof glass. the no-children section can be like a normal restaurant. I hope you're joking. nope. i remember being a small child and being as bored as hell in restaurants. i would want to run around, talk to the people in the booth behind me, whatever. My parents, myself, and countless of other people who had to sit near me at that time in my life would have been more than happy if there was a children's section that I could be in that was catered directly to me. I'm not talking about prison here, I'm talking about a section in a restaurant where there are coloring books, games, toys,other children. basically a place where a kid wouldn't be bored out of his or her freakin' mind. everyone wins. | |
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tackam said: AND, repeat after me: employees are NOT BABYSITTERS. Working reception at a vet hospital, parents made us deal with their bratty kids constantly. They would make noise, freak out the animals, make a mess of the lobby, and parents acted like it was our job to watch the kids while they were in appointments and clean up after they left. Fuck that! If your sick dog pukes, fine, I'll clean it up. This is a business for sick dogs. But if your sick kid pukes, clean it up your own damn self. tell me about it. i refuse to deal with children at work if they are having tantrums. If they are well mannered and interested in their pet's health then that's fine. i atually enjoy those children. but if they are acting like terrors then i just ignore them and talk over the racket. If someone asks if they can leave their child in the waiting room i say no because "it gets very busy out here and i can;t keep an eye on them all the time." | |
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question - what would you do if your developmentally disabled teenager acted inappropriately in a restaurant? what about your slightly senile but active grandmother?
at what point were we convinced that physical harm inflicted on small children was ok, even applauded, when we would do no such thing to somebody else with the same ability to handle a certain situation? | |
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JasmineFire said: tackam said: AND, repeat after me: employees are NOT BABYSITTERS. Working reception at a vet hospital, parents made us deal with their bratty kids constantly. They would make noise, freak out the animals, make a mess of the lobby, and parents acted like it was our job to watch the kids while they were in appointments and clean up after they left. Fuck that! If your sick dog pukes, fine, I'll clean it up. This is a business for sick dogs. But if your sick kid pukes, clean it up your own damn self. tell me about it. i refuse to deal with children at work if they are having tantrums. If they are well mannered and interested in their pet's health then that's fine. i atually enjoy those children. but if they are acting like terrors then i just ignore them and talk over the racket. If someone asks if they can leave their child in the waiting room i say no because "it gets very busy out here and i can;t keep an eye on them all the time." If anybody had ever ASKED I would have said no! ![]() | |
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MsMisha319 said: So yesterday me, my son and my boyfriend decide to have dinner at Red Robins (restaurant chain here in Detroit). My son, Erick, was in rare form.....He bit into the balloon that the hostess gave him within 30 seconds...Throwing french fries and crayons all over the floor...screaming! It was pretty horrible. Anyway, one of the men sitting at the bar was the host of a local talk radio show! My boyfriend hears this guy on the radio this morning talking about how horrible this little boy was a Red Robins last night ![]() In Erick's defense, he was tired and he had already eaten ![]() Before I had my son, I was one of those people who would give dirty looks to parents with unruly kids....especially in restaurants.....but now that I'm one of them..... ![]() The next time your lil ones acts up .... just remember how blessed you are that they are healthy ...there's many a parent to a child with disabilities that would love to have that problem..... then give that baby a hug ![]() ![]() ![]() Smooches;) | |
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irresistibleb1tch said: question - what would you do if your developmentally disabled teenager acted inappropriately in a restaurant? what about your slightly senile but active grandmother?
at what point were we convinced that physical harm inflicted on small children was ok, even applauded, when we would do no such thing to somebody else with the same ability to handle a certain situation? You are so wonderful. ![]() I never laid a hands on my kids and they are well behaved. There are other methods of discipline and communication. Seriously, If I hit my 3 year old son I know what he would do, and that is go around hitting kids at creche. I think parents smack kids to make themslves feel better. It is usually done in bad temper. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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JasmineFire said: sag10 said: I also try to take their ages into consideration.
But sometimes they just get so unruly.. Me, I would have removed him from the premise.. No need to make others miserable. i'm sayin'. get him the hell outta there. I truly believe that they should make restaurants with children and no-children sections. The children's section can all kinds of things that'll keep a kid occupied and should be surrounded by soundproof glass. the no-children section can be like a normal restaurant. You are preaching my gospel, just because somebody else chooses to have a kid why should I endure the aggraviation ![]() | |
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bkw said: irresistibleb1tch said: question - what would you do if your developmentally disabled teenager acted inappropriately in a restaurant? what about your slightly senile but active grandmother?
at what point were we convinced that physical harm inflicted on small children was ok, even applauded, when we would do no such thing to somebody else with the same ability to handle a certain situation? You are so wonderful. ![]() I never laid a hands on my kids and they are well behaved. There are other methods of discipline and communication. Seriously, If I hit my 3 year old son I know what he would do, and that is go around hitting kids at creche. I think parents smack kids to make themslves feel better. It is usually done in bad temper. ![]() it's beyond me why pain inflicted by your parents should be a normal part of childhood. structure, boundaries, communication and discipline - yes. pain - no. [Edited 12/12/04 4:07am] | |
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Geez, I just got reminded of today. I was on my way to my dad's home on da train, when i saw this lil bubz- about 2-3 years old..cute lil thing...wandering around the train aimlessly- going up 2 da carriage doors while da humungous mother just stood there and let her go around like dat. Okay, I may not not be a mama to say such a thing, and I mean no disrespect for any parents with naturally unruly kidz, but honestly. I couldnt believe she couldn't keep dat kid to sit in one spot, or at least stand NEAR her on this smelly train. Gawd knowz what diseases da kid can pick up from the furniture on da carriage, plus one sudden jerk of da train and da lil girl would have gone flying!! As if dat were not bad enough...they got off at da same station dat i did...and da woman gave da child such a hit- this big fat woman hitting this tiny lil kid all practically skin and bone ![]() No hablo espanol,no! ![]() Pero hablo ingles..ssii muy muy bien... ![]() ![]() ![]() Missy Quote of da Month: "yeah, sure, that's cool...wait WHAT?! " ![]() | |
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bkw said: irresistibleb1tch said: question - what would you do if your developmentally disabled teenager acted inappropriately in a restaurant? what about your slightly senile but active grandmother?
at what point were we convinced that physical harm inflicted on small children was ok, even applauded, when we would do no such thing to somebody else with the same ability to handle a certain situation? You are so wonderful. ![]() I never laid a hands on my kids and they are well behaved. There are other methods of discipline and communication. Seriously, If I hit my 3 year old son I know what he would do, and that is go around hitting kids at creche. I think parents smack kids to make themslves feel better. It is usually done in bad temper. Well, I was spanked as a kid when I did wrong, and I didn't go around hitting people, because I was taught that hitting others is wrong. When my parents smacked me, it wasn't for them to "feel better" or "in bad temper", it was because I had done something wrong. And please don't tell me that my parents were setting a bad example for me by spanking me but telling me that it was not proper to hit others, because that is not true. My parents were strict, but very loving, and they molded me into the person that I am today. ![]() I think this is an issue that all of us will never agree on. Everyone has different views on whether to spank or not to spank, stemming from our personal views and/or how we were raised as children. [Edited 12/12/04 7:31am] RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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psychodelicide said: bkw said: You are so wonderful. ![]() I never laid a hands on my kids and they are well behaved. There are other methods of discipline and communication. Seriously, If I hit my 3 year old son I know what he would do, and that is go around hitting kids at creche. I think parents smack kids to make themslves feel better. It is usually done in bad temper. Well, I was spanked as a kid when I did wrong, and I didn't go around hitting people, because I was taught that hitting others is wrong. When my parents smacked me, it wasn't for them to "feel better" or "in bad temper", it was because I had done something wrong. I think this is an issue that all of us will never agree on. Everyone has different views on whether to spank or not to spank, stemming from our personal views and/or how we were raised as children. the way i see it, two different outcomes result from childhood abuse - when you were physically harmed as a child, you either continue the cycle, or you come out against it, often adamantly. on the other hand, i doubt that people who were not physically harmed as a child find that option attractive when they raise their children. so hopefully, that would, in the long term, end the cycle. | |
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I see your point; however, I know of parents who were hit as children when they did wrong, but also choose to hit their kid when they misbehave. Not sure how we can end the cycle when the parent disclipines the child the same way they were when they were a kid, but I can understand what you're saying.
typo edit [Edited 12/12/04 7:35am] RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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I agree with everyone here somewhat, however I don't believe in spanking without any discussion. I used to think that spanking was abuse, no matter what, but I do know people who have used it effectively as a last resort or to break a cycle of brattiness previously unlike the child.
I have worked with children and I realize that sometimes certain children can not be effectively disciplined with reason, boundaries, spanking(although I have never tried spanking), and these are the children that should not be in restaurants, even if one would expect them there. Parents should be busy investigating what sort of disorder the child has and searching for treatment, not giving up and being lazy, having no respect for others and making excuses. I think the issue here is laziness and some really twisted current beliefs about parenting. I think that deep down, parents already know this, believe me I've seen the faces of parents who realize (sometimes after 4 kids) that they shouldn't have had any in the first place. | |
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purplelu said: I used to think that spanking was abuse, no matter what, but I do know people who have used it effectively as a last resort or to break a cycle of brattiness previously unlike the child.
That's actually what I was talking about. ![]() | |
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I see alot of theorizing here by people who dont have kids.
As a parent of two young ones I can tell you that the only time i have ever felt like spanking my kids (which I havn't and wont) is when i have lost my cool. Every kid I have ever seen spanked has had it done by an angry parent. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
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very good point bkw. i'm not commenting because i'm a parent, i'm commenting because i'm an impatient restaurant patron ![]() | |
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Here's a thought for the anti-children brigade.
If an airline, restauranteur, business owner or whatever accepts the business of parents with children then that's their decision. It's their business. It's your decision to give them your business! Instead of banning children or putting them in sound-proof boxes for fuck's sake ![]() And what's the difference between smacking a child in public or behind closed doors? I don't understand? Is it to save the parents embarrassment? Using violence to correct bad behaviour is not the answer. | |
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bkw said: I see alot of theorizing here by people who dont have kids.
As a parent of two young ones I can tell you that the only time i have ever felt like spanking my kids (which I havn't and wont) is when i have lost my cool. Every kid I have ever seen spanked has had it done by an angry parent. I still disagree with your last sentence. Kids who get spanked are not necessarily by angry parents, but by parents who are trying to show the child that what they did is wrong. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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