There’s this girl “Julie” who was my agent in getting the job I have now. I don’t like her. I feel that she was a horrible agent for me, never helped me when I was in a bad position here before I got hired. See, I was laid off over a year ago. I just happened to get a temp job here…a covering for a gal who was on maternity. I was making the low level pay, as I was just to “cover”. But from day 1, I was doing more than that, as I used to work here, so I got more to do. Upon discovery that I was basically doing all of the work for an exec here, I asked for a bump in pay. It got negotiated to inbetween what I was making and what I should have been making as it was told to Julie that I would be hired full on in about a month. That never happened. What did happen was that I had to wait 6 mos down to the last minute to get hired on (I had to be hired w/in a certain amount of time to bridge my time here). Julie never once stepped in and negotiated that I get paid more or help facilitate my getting hired or anything. I ended up taking a job I didn’t want, but things had gone so far that I really couldn’t back down (LOOONG STORY). She also never stepped in to negotiate anything about my current position or the amount of pay I’d get (It had already past the required amount of hours for them to get a bonus…so theys got their money already, so they could care less).

During all of this, she said she’d sent emails and phone calls etc…and NOONE ever got back to her. This is her schtick as I have heard from others. She says things she never did. The epitome of this is she kept trying to send me a “thank you” something. I never got anything…nor did I want anything. One day I was looking to get a temp and was given to Julie who was Miss Happy face to hear from me. She asked me if I ever got her thank you gift in the mail…some gift certificate. I said I hadn’t. Apparently she had sent it to the wrong addy. This is an exec recruiter…yet she can’t send emails, voice mails or regular mail out correctly EVER. I’m like “update your address book bitch” So to make up for all of it, she decides to take me and my boss (who I really can’t stand) out to a fancy lunch. They had a good time. I was like “let’s get this over with”.

So, I did something not too nice today. I called the agency for a temp for the holidays and completely avoided talking to this girl/agent. I got a call later today from her thanking me for the business (I think she’s onto my avoidance). I got another call form someone else about the temp who starts tomorrow, and he said Julie would be my agent…UGHHHHH! I asked him if I could have a different one. That I just don’t really care for her. I told him I never gave this feed back to Julie herself (I am sure she is wondering why I am avoiding her). I also told him what I did not need was a call from Julie asking why and what did she do wrong. He told me that would not happen.

I feel awful. Like I should have told her myself, but I just don’t know how to tell her she failed on me…and then annoyed me with her constant half baked attempted flailings to “thank me” and “congratulating” me on a job I hate. Maybe I am being too much of an ass…I mean Was I a dick? I just felt it easier to just not deal with her. I also don’t think she’d get it either.

Your action was understandable. That's for sure. But maybe you should call her herself and tell her the truth. Unless you hate her so much you don't think she deservs this openness from your side...

I don't think it was bad. It's not a friendship that you ended like that, it's a business relationship. You can choose whoever you want to perform that task. Given the experience you had with her, you chose not to give her repeat business. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, or that you need to explain to her that she doesn't do her job very well.

LOL, Madartista's opinion is completely different from mine. Or not?

MarieLouise said:

I don't think they're completely different! He definitely could tell her, but I don' think he has an obligation to tell her.

Don't worry about her calling you. She'd probably call the wrong number

madartista said:

One could say that the two answers are definitly a male and a female talking

I want to tell her, cuz that's the person I am. But more so I want her to leave me alone and not have to deal with her.And I am going with the Professional coldness that comes with working in an executive world...sometimes you may never know how someone feels about you or the reasons they choose.

I was told I pissed someone off because I "hover"...basically waiting around (unobtrusively) for someone to get off the phone, so I can ask thenm a question. Many do that around here...or worse...don't even ask if you are busy or on the phone and just start talking to you. I also found out this same person HATES stuff put on her chair...I never knew. She was disliking me all along.

Heavenly said:

ha ha right? But it seems as though that wrong number only works when she's trying to say thank you.

superspaceboy said:

For me, it's more of an I-don't-like-confrontation thing than a male/female thing. In your shoes, I would probably feel the same way, that I should tell her, but in the end, I probably wouldn't. Looking at it from that perspective, you probably should tell her. I guess I'm being a little schizophrenic today! Either way, I still say you don't have an obligation to tell her.

madartista said:

The thing is...if I were Julie, I'd want to know. But sometimes those that do want to know...really don't

superspaceboy said:

True. And you did say that you don't think she would really hear what you have to say. That's definitely a consideration.

madartista said:

Oh yes, that is so true... On the other hand, what is the most important to you: to considerate what you'll say or to considerate what she'll hear?

MarieLouise said:

To considerate what I say. I hate being one of those that doesn't take one's own advice (this time it's to not be passive aggressive, which is what I was doing). I pride myself with being as upfront as possible...when it's necessary..and when it won't end up biting me in the ass.

If this were a friend, I'd say something for sure...if I cared for that person and they truly were my friend. It comes down to telling people as you see it..and what you see about them. And what they're actions are doing to others. Not always an easy thing....

About 2 years ago, I was going through...I guess a mental meltdown. I was really depressed (bursting into tears out of nowhere...yep that's depression) and had a really BAD BAD BAD living situation. My friend came up and visited. It wasn't the best of visits...as I was depressed. Well, something crawled into my friends butt and stayed there. She was bad mouthing me, saying to those at home what an ass i was this and that yada X 3. She was mad at me, and instead of confronting me about it, decided to bitch about me to another sympathetic ear (who also had issues with me...somewhat, but he's easily led). So easily led,that he visited everyone up here but made certain I did not know.

Anyhoo, noone said anything to me at all. I just knew my good friend wasn't calling me or taking my calls. That added to the depression made it worse. It was decided that ALLLL of my friends were to get on a special conference "intervention" to tell me what a jerk I had become. To confront me and tell me how I was acting towards people apparently everyone on the call felt this way or something. No one knew that I was really depressed..nor knew that my behavior recently was caused by this depression. But everyone felt that I needed to know these things. I was devastated. Talk about making a depressed person feel better.

And all this was done becasue my friend didn't ask me or take the time to know what was going on with me. All has been forgiven etc. But I really felt betrayed. I mean sure..we all say things to our friends all the time...but never was I mean or anything. Sometimes I say things out of turn (I am the king of tact...NOT)...but the intent is never to hurt. But these poeple have known me for YEARS...it's how I have always been. A Gang-up is not what I needed.

Sometimes, one has to be very careful with how one words things about the actions/behavior of others.