I will let Dook lay out his specifications.
I think this is of the utmost importance, so please don't delay.
Dook - what city do you live in?
Girls - who's up for it?

Come on, you greedy bastards.
This is the season of giving!!!

- I live in Oakland, California.
- I play volleyball.
- I smell nice.
- I'm funny. Sometimes.
- I have a cat.
- I have nice hair.
- I can juggle.

Okay, now.
Let's start the bidding.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Bea Arthur is too good for you...

Byron said:

Noted.
Now what's your bid?

I bid a package of Charmin w/ aloe. Brand new never opened.

Nila said:

Okay, do I hear Angel Soft? Is there an Angel Soft?

Fleshofmyflesh said:

Hey! I said w/ aloe. That means I care.

Nila said:

True. And Charmin is the most expensive brand, with or without aloe.
One ply or two?

Fleshofmyflesh said:

2 baby.

Nila said:

Damn.
You really do care.
Okay, do I hear 3 ply?
Do I hear a hand sanitizer thrown in?

Looks like I'm going to win this one.

Byron said:

Going once.....
Going twice.....

Nila said:

Yay! I may have an org-girlfriend!

is the bidding over yet? I wanted to up your Charmin to a box of Pampers.

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Nila, are you sure you're ready for the Dookster?

superspaceboy said:

No, the bidding is still open.
Huggies, Luvs or some store brand crap?

superspaceboy said:

Ooooooh! Pampers!!! That means I can poo myself all day! Tempting,,,,very tempting.....

Fleshofmyflesh said:

No female can handle the Dookster....they can only hope to contain him. I will make them squeal like little piggies! EEEEE!!!!!

ReturnOfDOOK said:

As long as you make me squeal from laughter or pleasure that's cool with me.

Nila said:

Or both! SPROING!

ReturnOfDOOK said:

I'm laughing already.
Not at you though baby.

Nila said:

As long as you occupy him long enough so he can stop wasting our time with his "threads"

Nila said:

Wait til I get nekkid - you'll be laughing your ass off

ReturnOfDOOK said:

Well at least we'll keep the relationship interesting.

Oakland...humm.. I up the bid to a Nations Cheeseburger with fries and a whole cheesecake!

Geritzla said:

Easy, Nila.
Don't grease him up yet.
We have a higher bid.

Fleshofmyflesh said:

I bid an aromatherapy candle (jasmine scented), a duraflame lighter, and a jar of Tucks hemmorhoid wipes. Because remember, I CARE!!!