Wow, you poor thing. It can be good, and you can't see how. OK, it hasn't been 7 years for us yet and our 3 kids are still small, but we are striving to be like our parents are now, surrounded by their extended families and loving it - could be a mediterranean attitude perhaps? (we are not american), we did marry as adults in our 30s and were financially independent, had travelled, had had previous relationships. We see great opportunities for us to take up as a team in the future. I guess we did not have unrealistic expectations that marriage would be the thing that would make us happy (we were already happy people). Marriage is something that has to be worked at, like anything, and we do it because it brings great rewards.
I come to the org sometimes because I enjoy different viewpoints, to read what people do in different countries, to joke around and pass the time while the kids watch a video and my husband is at work. I guess I don't have an interest in "chat" so to speak, probably because I am not here to "pick up".
My 2 cents worth.

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[Edited 11/22/04 19:49pm]

What? You don't believe me?

Listen...I'm not saying it isn't so...

I'm not saying that.



I don't buy what you're saying though...not all of it.

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Walk away nicely DrBigFun... and you know... why don't you go have some fun!

Ps~ My computer sucks donkeyballs.

You're not getting a rise out of me! I really like my life, everyday I say to myself "things couldn't be better".
I am sure when the kids grow up and become sullen adolescents you can ask me again and I would say something different, but since I can only answer for right now, I wouldn't want to be anyone else, anywhere else.

Okay, I will say this again.

I'm happy in my life.

I'm just not ignoring the stumps, rocks, mountains...blah..blah...blah.



Why are you chatting right now?

..

And why are you?

Wow...that's really sad jedi ..... I mean to blessed with children but to view it that way.... that's really sad... for both them and you.
[Edited 11/21/04 21:35pm]

Mannnnn ... Now you KNEW.....I was gonna respond to this:

*ahem*

Marriage.....relationships.....child rearing..... What have you encountered...that you didn't have to work toward or strive for have you appreciated?

I'm gonna go deep first and then skim the surface with regard to the "if they were happy they wouldn't be chatting part" ...I'll save that for last


Let's start with "fear" ..... what interferes and inhibits with most relationships (only in my opinion) is entering into the relationship too soon and much of that is because we tend to even if subconsciously adhere to societal preconceived notions of the "norm"... instead of searching for our true soul mates... and ooooops yeah love button ... the mate that "God" intended for us to walk through life with... we yield to timeframes that society dictates... (i.e., high school graduation, college graduation, job, marriage, family) ...

first of all, none of us are perfect ..... however when we look around or examine ourselves....quite often we think in terms of what is "expected" or eve what preconceived timetables we've set for ourselves.... also coming into play is sterotypical scenario's where hellacious sex and/or someone who makes us think that for whatever reason we want to have that association for the rest of our lives....takes over the assessments that we should be going through internally with respect to compatibility..... goals, mutual beliefs... oops...here i go again C ... (knowing this is like garlic to to vampire .... RELIGION (but having those beliefs in common ....or the lack of those beliefs in common ...truly come into play)....

having gone through divorce, i feel i can speak on this C...but whatever you do in this world.... you can't group every relationship into a neat and all inclusive category..... nor can u shun the concept of marriage in an effort to justify your repelling it.... should you choose to not marry... let it be merely your choice...don't assume that everyone else isn't happy just because you don't believe you could be....AND ... be open to the idea and perhaps the desire to hold someon above all the rest may touch you on a deeper level too and ya just might find someone that you can "walk with ..... not leading nor being lead" ..... "relate too and strive with to achieve the life that you both have set out to realize and to share with your children"... and "that just might turn some of the bitter taste in your mouth to sweet"

I'm not saying marriage is for everyone... but by the same token, you can't say that everyone in marital union is unhappy C... that's not fair.... and albeit not for everyone... it's not a viable all inclusive categorization....

as for the chatting...

perhaps they are chatting while their spouse is working or out of town .. or their children are sleeping and perhaps.... with computer communication being part of the american way these days its a past time not an escape

and

kids will suck you dry and demand every ounce of you.....but asking you ...one parent to another...baby would u have it any other way ? and have you ever known such joy?????

u know i lubz me sum u ...but i believe your running C... and without getting into the convo's we've had before ..... no matter how many people jump on the bandwagon here...and co-sign that marriage is the work of the devil himself and it's pure hell and no one will ever be happy ...yada yada yada... u know! and i know! sometimes... it's "us" and our "preconceived notions that impede our own happiness" .....mannnnn go on and marry dat woman