Maybe reality is as horrific and faceless as it doesn't ever pretend it isn't. A pretty face, of course. Bleeding cancerclusts, full tumours of fear, cracking open black over all silly human notions of 'beauty' and 'truth'. This fear knaws.The scar everyone sees but nobody mentions. The burns victim in everyone. Fields full of boxes and forgotten flesh. My God. Such silly vanity, an astheically-pleasing coffin. Ha. Something's laughing. Laughter is food, so foolish, so wrong. From our cruel creator, this wise father/mother, this blinding truth, there is silence. Oh God.

My parents didn't know what to say when I was five years old and woke up crying on the couch because I had a dream where they both died. I asked them if they would die one day. Why they had to die. Why were they going to leave me. The stone belly horror everything ends. I remember well. Cancerous, every memory toxic. Oh God.

Maybe, one day, my own children will ask me what answers lie outside this burning box we all fit so comfortably into, laughing, joking, forgetting, hiding, lying, making love, spitting in the face of truth and the unquenchable fear that one day, everyone and everything we know and love will be no more, every friend, every lover, every pet, our children will die, our grandchildren, and eventually, then, 100 years or so, we'll all be truly gone, not even a thought or a voice underneath someone's skull. Absolutely forgotten. Pointless. Why live to fall asleep, over and over and over and over again? Oh God.

I want to believe in something now. Truth, find me. Set me free.

Death is the only reason that life is worth living.

Everything that has a beginning has an end.

BorisFishpaw said:

that is a something you can be certain of and that includes physical life itself...doesn't make the pain any easier to bare tho for those who have lost loved ones, unfortunately

Hey, I dont wanna turn this into a religious thing, 'cause I know that it's not the right forum, so don't attack me.

I don't quite know how to say this, but anyway, there are a lot of meanings/understandings about death, and there are many things that can come upon death, and after death.

Look at these and I hope that you find something in this:

JOH 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Because Christ died so that we could be free from our sins, we may only "die" physically, but our spirits/souls would live forever, should we believe in Christ and follow His examples.


JOH 5:24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.

Basically sayin the same thing. You'd have to read more of John as well as other books to fully get the understanding. But basically, the Bible (if you believe in it) teaches that there IS something to live for, and that IS death, because there is LIFE after death. All you have to do is believe in Christ and follow his way/commandments/teachings.
[Edited 11/21/04 20:08pm]

I've lost some very good friends to death! I've stood next to there open caskets and I watch them lay there emotionless and silent. I've tried to to convince myself that they will open their eyes soon but my self realization kicks in that they won't. The character they had the style of talking and thinking and living is gone for good and gone forever.. It takes me many days to accept this usually because deep in the back of my mind I hope to see them alive and kicking as I am only used to seeing them like that!


You know what it all boils down to is I believe in living and enjoying this amazing thing called "LIFE" I appreciate LIFE! If we have parents we should emphasize how much we love them for giving us life and the power to feel it!
Or cherrish our special friends now cuz thing could change instantly!




edit
[Edited 11/23/04 20:34pm]

PEJ said:

I've lost many loved ones, too I know what you're saying. It is good to cherish those still with us (like the saying goes: Give me my flowers while I could still smell them), but on the other hand, we should still cherish those who are in death and the memories that they carry.

sinisterpentatonic said:

Hi you.

"My belief in God makes me happy and if we're all wrong, then so what? At least I lived a happy life with my beliefs. In the end, it doesn't matter." - PRINCE, 1981.

As great a work of art as I believe The Rainbow Children to be, the lyrics exist as fairytaleobtusepsychedelia to me. Cleversillycentipededomino. It's not my truth and can never be. Unless Jesus himself appears to me, like he allegedly did to Bob Dylan in 1978.

"Someone threw a little crucifix on stage one night. I took it to my room later...don't know why. Maybe I do. But that night, there was a presence which entered my room which I knew could only be Jesus Christ. I am his always. He saved my life. He is mine and everyone's saviour." - BOB DYLAN 1981

Even Bob, man. Even Bob. As I said, this fear knaws at the roots of the night, turning truth inside out, leaving its guts spilled over the floor. Do we all give in sooner or later? What are we fighting against? What are we fighting for?I will rage into dying of my light. I won't ever kneel. I'll kick and scream all the fucking way. But like Lennon said "How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?"

applekisses said:

Pope bloodline. Can you heal? I know the Stuarts. Nice family. Nothing special, though.

BorisFishpaw said:

Okay, Obi Wan.

kiss85 said:

Jesus had beautiful hair. In the stain glass windows, anyway. Especially when our solitary supernova is unburdened by cloudcover. Do you think he ever got a raging, throbbing, desperate hard-on? I'm not trying to offend you. It's a valid question.

PEJ said:

You're so fucking alive, PEJ. You crackle. We should meet and shoot the shit just one time. Bring rd. We'll burn God's feet with our light.

Number23 said:

I'm fine, thank you.

Death has plagued my life since I was very young. I lost a lot of people growing up, my first love, my best friend, and many more all before the age of 17. By the time I went to college I thought for sure I was cursed and never wanted to get close to people. Now 10 years later I am somewhat better, but even now I sometimes have a feeling where I want to leave everyone and just be by myself. I feel safer that way, like nothing can be taken from me again. Some can say that you have to get over it, but some things you never get over, or I just havn't figured out how.

Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.

-- Buddha

Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death
- Cold - Annie Lennox

BorisFishpaw said:

That only applys to everything that a humans can hold in their minds. If the universe is continually expanding then what is it expanding into? if it has corners then what is outside of the box? that question is impossible to hold in the human mind - its too big! It is above and beyond human undertanding, just like life itself.

BorisFishpaw said:

I love that song. That line in particular!

Number23 said:

Sure you will! Just keep rising with the sun. We all return to the fetal position.



Maybe, but I'm sure you'll stop once you get there.


[Edited 11/23/04 10:07am]

don't care how or when i die as long as i'm buried in my gucci shoes x

seriously though since we're on the subject of death,,,,i never will understand why some people live into old age and die peacefully in their sleep and others die young and horrificly.why is that?if there is a god this is a question i have for him.life isn't fair and neither is death.

PRNelson said:

Actually the above statement still stands regardless.
It's just that, as you said, the human mind has trouble thinking outside the
framework of the concept of time. Read the statement again and look deeper.

Basically death is the unknown. You don't know when, where, how, or why. It just happens, just like life. We all have different expereiences, and we don't know why, etc...,

I am a christian, but I have always thought, what if we are all wrong. What if it is something we never even thought of. Death is fascinating and scary all at the same time.

BorisFishpaw said:

I have the same thougght about going to heaven or hell. Its forever, and the first thing I think is how long is forever?

Here's something to think about...

Why is it so hard to think that death is the end? That when you die, that may
well be it and you will cease to exist altogether?... (It's a possibility.)

Yet we all have no problem believing that there was a time BEFORE were born
when the same was true, and we did not exist.

How can you have an infinite time (forever and ever) if it has a finite start?
Everything that has a beginning has an end.

Number23 said:

...SUCHA SWEET LITTLE MONKEY!!! i miss you NUMBER23,

silverjean said:

LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!!

silverjean said:

Missed you too.

cammille said:

No-one here could ever answer that, H.
Maybe every breath, every blink, every smile means something, somewhere to someone. Maybe the third dimension is a perfect predetermined system with no errors. Butterfly wings and hurricaines in Tokyo. A dream in the mind of the creator. Quantum Mechanics has frightening ideas. We already knew before, maybe, long before we had faces. Could be ants scattered across the Mona Lisa. No forest for trees. Fateless bacteria. Cancerous. Maybe no right or wrong, even. Just moral conditioning through influence. But at least Brian Wilson finally released Smile.