The thin ones don't see that they are more accepted than the larger women.

They really aren't! Ya have to see that they are saying the same thing as you. "they feel" a lack of acceptance. If you are too thin or thin without shape society is just as cruel! There are always exceptions to all rules.... However in basis life can seem cruel on both extremes...

Herein lies the problem, we in error seek to get in where we don't fit in! As well as we take the "get in where you fit in" offensively! It is meant to implicate there is something out there for everyone! I fully recommend the book He is just not that into you to every woman. It will help you surf through male selection without wasting anytime.
Ace and Joey are two prime examples of men on both ends of the spectrum. .
I may think Ace is hot as hell but he is clear on what he likes. I don't have to choose to see that as personal rejection anymore then he should if I thought he wasn't!

I think as people we are driven by the desire to be appealing to the masses. Why? I personally don't want your husband ....Your love ... your money ... your car..house..kids.... I want what is mine to have! I want Karen's.... I have no interest in enticing even for causes of acceptance, what God intended for you.
Though it may not be in my face right now, I know in my heart of hearts what is mine to have is out there. ( As far as love goes...) I will not gain a sense of self by enticing someone else's joy. ((You nay sayers can check with ALL who interacted with me to be certain I am not blowing smoke up your collective asses!)) It is a new realization for me. I no longer go in rooms seeing what is in it for me but what may I bring to the room.... I feel that what is mine will come to me in time. I have learned that inadvertently life is more drawn to me now. I look flagrant and out on display but that is a result of both who I am for me and the area in which I live. I will not be self loathing to make those that are, comfortable in their own skin anymore then I am high on myself. I am way over that vibe since I was 11.

We are all seeking the same thing... Love and acceptance for whom we are. It starts at home people. Home is within your skin. Stop the hate. Ya can't stop the hate until you reconcile with yourself! Be at peace within. What it is you seek will come to you. First we have to do our part to be what it is we are asking for in return.
[Edited 11/11/04 17:19pm]

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

s

Thank you for all of that you have a way of stating things that makes me really stop and think. And I like that.

And about this: "I know longer go in rooms seeing what is in it for me but what may I bring to the room..."
I know you certainly brought laughter to the Org Invasion, you just exude (sp?) warmth and fun

~ Gretch

meow85 said:

I see your point, but it is a reference to "Society's" pressures on women period to have that skinny supermodel look, and not much of society on a whole fits that mold. Give me some curves anyday!!!! Yeah Baby!! I'd break a skinny chick!

applekisses said:

Can I see your curves Applebaby...whap!

meow85 said:

Meow85, I've dated a woman who dealt with the same issue as you. In fact, a total stranger suggested I take my g/f out to eat once, as if it were a matter of life and death.

The key is to be confident in who you are. God made you beautiful.

I think that society at large discriminates against the bow legged amongst us..and I'm tired of it I tell you. Tired.

Lleena said:

it's going to be alright.

I think I may be the only one who will speak the truth on this one.

For the longest time, stores did not accommodate women with larger frames. Clothes were cut to size women 11 and lower. And "we" thick chicks are tired of it. I sucks going into stores and not being able to buy stuff off the rack. So when I come out of the dressing room and see a skinny women standing there, you are right you are going to get evil looks because I just took an hour to try on different clothes that has thirteen on the lable but cut for your little behind. It is just the frustration of it all. I would not go so far as to saying anything too you but I do feel cheated. What skinny women are experiencing is the backlash of about thirty years of being left out of the main stream in everything from Barbies, commercials, clothes and a bunch of other junk. It is not fair but turn about is fair play. I am sure it will change once again but I say do what we have been doing for years! Ignore it and strut your stuff anyway! And the comment Real women have curves implies to your neighbor, coworker, sister, mom, friend and aunts. The people you see everyday are real not what you see on TV. Especially, women of color who are not overweight just made differently. Women of color can have a seven size waist and an ass that is a thirteen. I have yet to find a pair of jeans I can get over my butt without having to go up four sizes bigger than my waist. Until J Lo, I don't think designers knew that shapes like that exist. Thank God for Apple Bottom jeans.

So to my skinny sisters, ignore the stupid comments and just try to understand. It is only out of frustration that these things are said. Do not take it to heart. The tables will turn once again.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

I love this line too!

ShySlantedEye1 said:

I completely get what you're saying. I know the dirty looks etc. are done out of frustration -but they're not necessary. It's not any more my fault that a bigger woman has a hard time finding clothes to fit than it is theirs that I have a hard time finding clothes to fit.

I have the same problem with sizes in reverse -I can't find anything small enough. Because not only am I skinny, I'm shorter than Prince and most 12 year olds -4 feet 11 inches tall, thank you. I'd be a hobbit if I didn't have such purdy feet.

Most clothes labelled "small" and even "extra small" fall right off me. I can't buy off the rack most of the time either. After 8 months of looking, I had to buy my graduation dress in Chinatown in Vancouver -at a children's store. So this size issue works both ways.
[Edited 11/11/04 18:29pm]

FullLabios said:

Just think back in the day, I had to color my Barbie with a black marker to make her look like me!?! And then to add insult to injury the clothes were just not for me. We evolve and move on! It is because of our differences that we make impact! If it weren't for J Lo showing her big ass it would have never been popular. Now it is a cool thing! Ass, lip, hips, calves and these other new implants are scary! Why would anyone want to have big lips I will never understand. We folks that have do not think they are the greatest thing. Try sucking on a bottled soda and see what happens! Sheesh!

ShySlantedEye1 said:

I respect what you're saying, but it's a shame women have to give each other evil looks. Is is directly her fault that clothing designers have been so narrow minded? not really. The implication that only real women have curves is ludicrous. I understand the statement, it's meant to empower women who dont conform to silly media stereotypes, but still, I think that by empowering one group of women, it insults another. So it's kind of redundant.


I DO understand your point.
[Edited 11/11/04 18:44pm]

I think a lot of the time this is a line used by husbands and boyfriends to make their partner feel better about their ample figure.

But yes, real women have curves.

ShySlantedEye1 said:

I don't get people who say J.Lo has a big ass. Curvy? Yes. Big? Far from.


BTW, has anyone besides me noticed that Mattel has only recently begun using different moulds for the non-white Barbies than they do for the classic white, blonde version? Growing up in the 80's, I had a few Barbies that were apparently supposed to ethnic, but the faces were identical with only slight variations in the pigment.
[Edited 11/11/04 18:37pm]

meow85 said:

And I'm still waiting for a better redheaded Barbie. Real redheads don't have tans..... ever.

Tom said:

This is not a generalization I'm comfortable with. I do not make negative comments on others' body types. I am uncomfortable enough with my own that I know the same sorts of comments that meake me unhappy would make others unhappy.

RipHer2Shreds said:

Fair enough however, I can't figure for the life of me how you could feel that about yours!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Yeah, I got issues, and I'm working on them. The point I was trying to make is that I try to keep them my issues and not project them on to others.

RipHer2Shreds said:

Would never have thought otherwise for a single second!

ShySlantedEye1 said:

That's the heart of what I was trying to get at. Thank you, hon

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

You're a sweetheart...and a foxy one at that!

RipHer2Shreds said:

She is a TOTAL fox!

meow85 said:

Understandable. Totally.

You know, I certainly find some body types more aesthetically appealing than others, and I think that's fine, but what disturbs me is this sense that people should feel bad or less because of what they look, or don't look, like.

This is a nice thread. Usually when this topic comes up people get nasty. It's good to see people being thoughtful about what they say. Yeay org!

tackam said:

People are behaving themselves today. It's a nice change.

It's just something people say to make themselves feel better. Kinda like ugly people saying looks don't count. Why care what other people think of you as long as that one special person in your life thinks you're the shit.
[Edited 11/12/04 2:19am]

JoweeCoco said:

Co-sign. My thoughts exactly...