Fleshofmyflesh said:

no.



NEXT!!!

Heavenly said:

I believe that deep down, people don't want to see other people happy if they themselves are not happy.
I detect some jealousy in many of the responses.
I think it's a riot how analytical some of you tried to be about racism, when it was so not about that.

And if I was baiting, ....look how many I caught.

I'm not sure why people are getting so bent out of shape over this. I love my man, I love his blackness, I love the sheen on his dark shoulders when he's wearing a white vest. I love his two tone feet. I love the curl of his hair. I love his large, soft, lips. It doesn't mean I wouldn't love a white man if I was married to one but this happens to be my situation. Therefore I love my black man too.

couldUB said:

How beautiful is that!
Doesn't it seem hypocritical that black people celebrate the beauty of blackness, which obviously they should, but then some people get so uncomfortable, or angered even, if a white person steps up and says something about the beauty of black.
Is it because it's a white woman talking about a black man?
Are we still back there on this issue?

Rhondab said:

My feelings weren't hurt. I'm happy if this person is happy in their relationship. Of course, that's great. I simply learned the lesson that flesh apparently hasn't. Intention does not have everything to do with it since it's possible to anger people unwittingly. It matters not whether u intended to or not, unless of course you have absolutely no regard for your fellow human beings, in which case you can say whatever you wish despite the reactions, bury your head in the sand and reassure yourself you haven't done anything wrong. Again, whether you're right or wrong it's possible to upset people without intending to. I think it'd be odd not to have at least some concern about upsetting people, why this upset has been caused, and avoiding it in future if possible.

Racially motivated? Again, the proof is in this thread. It obviously doesn't sit too well with many people, so are they all wrong? Perhaps, but perhaps not. At least it may be worthwhile to consider that there may be something there that could be avoided. Sometimes pride just gets in the way of getting along with people. It's not a huge sacrifice or failure to 'keep it real', it's plain common sense for anyone that doesn't want unnecessary confrontation.

Obviously you posted this before later responses that I have now read. The 'Go Rhonda' comments clearly weren't lost on you though. In hindsight you can see a little more insight into the thread's (at least in part) potential intention.

"And if I was baiting, ....look how many I caught."

There it is, put to bed.

Fleshofmyflesh said:

Ok, let me just say, I'm happy you have a fulfilling relationship with your partner. I have no animosity to u personally whatsoever. The jealousy thing is a pretty silly comment since you know there must be many people, myself included, posting on this thread who also have fulfilling relationships.

It's really very simple. I'm inclined to believe that originally you may not have intended anything other than to proclaim your happiness with your current partner. However, you are surely aware of where this thread has gone. Was this your intention? If it was your intention then you were baiting. If not, you must be quite dismayed about where the thread has gone, which is off-topic. In this case, might it be better in future to avoid all such responses by learning from this?

For me this isn't about anyone personally, it's simply about using common sense. All the proof u need that it might be wise to rethink your phrasing in future is right here on your thread, unless u wish for all your threads to end up this way?

As much as Rhonda wants to see it as stating the obvious (superfluous?) I can't help thinking that's being rather simplistic. Am I to believe that the responses came as a surprise? How insightful people can be at perceiving deeper connotations when it suits their argument. Yet when it so suits them they suddenly become like a child taking things absolutely literally. Funny that.

...
[Edited 11/5/04 7:51am]

Hotlegs said:

The R Kelly and Jay-Z thing was a reference to one of my own threads in which in a similar fashion my comment ended up sitting uncomfortably with a couple of orgers. My dislike for these two artists' music is not the relevant thing here. I used the adjectival 'African American' and that made some uncomfortable. As in this case, it's a statement of fact, a descriptive phrase, but it ended up being a bait. Hopefully, I learned my lesson.

Faux said:

Okay, first off - doesn't faux mean fake?

But that's off topic.

Okay, have you considered that perhaps I say what I want to say and will deal with the repercussions?
You sound like someone who is extremely concerned about what other people think.
This is where we differ.

Perhaps it's because I've been with MY Black man for over 17 years. When you're in an interracial relationship you face opposition all the time. Do I welcome it? Of course not. But do I shy away from it? No, I don't.

I know my thread was provocative. Most of my threads are.
I'll be the first to admit that I mainly have 3 objectives on this website.
The first is to laugh and try to make others laugh.
The second is to share news and feelings about Prince.
The third is to instigate dialogue about issues I feel are important.
I think we all learn and grow from that.
Yes, it may be painful for some, including myself some times.
But pain is growth.
If we only talked about things that were sure to not offend ANYONE, where would we be? When there is no growth, there is no change.
Think of some of the most important changes that have occurred in the world.
Do you think they came about because people tapdanced around issues and made sure no one's feelings got hurt?
[Edited 11/5/04 7:54am]

Faux said:

I think we have different definitions for "bait". I understand your point but I don't completely share your views.

Rhondab said:

Lord Jesus....why? Why?

Can we all just get along?

....


..

And why couldn't you just say "I love my man?"

lnteractive said:

In that case, I shouldn't have said man either.
It's too descriptive.
Actually love is kind of strong too.
I guess I should have said "I feel an affinity for my sexual partner"

Fleshofmyflesh said:

Yes, that's the meaning of Faux.

I too am in an interacial relationship. My wife is Thai. I understand what u're saying about important changes in the world being brought about by growth through friction. However, this is the general discussion forum of a Prince site, not parliament. You have the right to start provocative threads if u like, of course. I simply don't like the threads where two sides form and start egging each other on. I'd rather we didn't have them and that's just how I feel. I know my dialogue may even perpetuate this sometimes, but sometimes I just feel I want to voice my opinion. All I was concerned with was your intentions for this thread. If there was no intention to be provocative it seemed your thread was going in the wrong direction. Now u've told me your intentions I can understand what u're saying, but I don't see that the provocation has brought any worthwhile dialogue, just a lot spent energy and some inane comments. Still, at least I've come to understand your position re this thread through your last response. All the best.

Faux said:

Much love.
See how nice we worked that out?

Rhondab said:

All I am saying is what is with this possesive thing. "My" who said anything about race.. That was your assumption, not mine.

Sheis a baiter, and I chose to ignore her from this time forward.

And you know that I am very relaxed...

Fleshofmyflesh said:

I feel the love From now on I'll make it my mission to start arguments with every orger until they like me.

Faux said:

Careful.
Won't work on everyone.
Just open minded, cool people like myself.

sag10 said:

Oh, okay.
So you must be against saying MY MOTHER or MY HOUSE or MY ASS too.
I've been married to MY man for 17 years. I sometimes call him MY husband too.
Does that also offend you?