Okay. I'm a nice guy, i try to be at least friendly with everybody. So i just lost my virginity this summer and told my friends, and now all of a sudden they start offering me sex and asking when we can have sex. Now they know how i am, i'm not a fucker, i'm a love maker, and when i lost my virginity it was with someone i REALLY liked(not that jerk in my other thread, someone else i was on the side..). So then i started telling my friends and they were like "Okay, Cool. so when can i hit that?"....Excuse the fuck out of me...I seriously value all my friendships, and i want to keep it that way, and i feel that if i make love to a friend, that they will confuse it with me being in love with them, and then after they found out that they were just a piece for me, they'll feel hurt because they'll think that i just used them, and i'm trying to avoid that and i'm not like that at all, and then when i say "No sex with friends, sorry" they get all mad and act like i'm being selfish and get offended and say stuff like "well, you have sex with other people" and yeah, but that was deeper than a friendship. It started out as one, but we started to become more than acquaintences, and we're not together now and i don't regret it at all. So am i being a jerk for this? Or am i right to stand my ground and risk losing friends because i won't have sex with them?

uhhh, i dunno. what are MY chances?

Sounds like the making of a "great" After School Special.

Sex does affect the friendship, unless you are two VERY mature and consenting people that honor and respect each other. Sounding like you are a seemingly young individual...I'd leave it alone and adhere to your own advice and NOT sleep with your friends....especially since you are quite new to this.

I think it can go both ways....personally i have had friendships that just got stronger guess it depends on the people and how you handle it....you gotta be ready for that i suppose

Anxiety said:

..was it good for you baby??

glamslamkid said:

i think my penis just time-traveled to the land of the lost.

DexMSR said:

yeah, it does sound like an ASS. but to me, sex is meaningful, and for me to have sex with them would mean that we've transcended friendship. to me at least. and since that's not the case, i want to avoid sex.

glamslamkid said:

I hope you guys don't mind that I watched that.

Anxiety said:

...i don't get it.

madartista said:

madartista said:

only if you taped it.

glamslamkid said:

try again, then:

madartista said:

what the hell happened to my serious thread. i tell ya, only on the Org.

Anxiety said:

okay. after 3 minutes serious fucking, i need 8 hours serious sleep.

Anxiety said:

I thought I saw a Sleestak running around with it in his hand.
[Edited 11/1/04 17:42pm]

MrJoker said:

he's going to sacrifice it to the god in the pit!!!!


(if i had a nickel for every time this happened...)

i've slept with so many of my friends...my boyfriend teases me and tells me that i don't have any exes, i only have friends. its almost true. none of my friendships suffered from having sex and most of them went right along as friendships with no future committments. the most convenient tryst was with a friend/roommate. we didn't even need to leave the house for a booty call, yet we were both completely comfortable NOT being a couple.

its not for everyone though so stick to your feelings and don't worry about your friends getting salty about not getting a piece. if they are really your friends they will not let this get the best of them.

SassyBritches said:

true. true. true..and all i want to know is...since when am i a slut?? i give out to two guys, and now it's a social injustice that i don't share with everyone? i seriously don't know who these guys take me as.

glamslamkid said:

2???? You slut!!!! No wonder your friends are pissed.

Anxiety said:

Got that shit on Tivo! Minus the commercials...

I think Land of the Lost is a lil old for our friend here.

madartista said:

Oh yeah once you go past one...slut city. All after that...you a ho

superspaceboy said:

AMEN.

Hey hon--you HAVE to go with your inital gut feelings. Some women can have sex with friends and without commitment but I personally can't. I think many women also think they can do it and then once they start, they find feelings coming about out of no where. Go with your gut and do what you think it best for you mentally

ok, serious answer -

when i was in college and for a few years after, there was a lot of, ahem, co-mingling among my friends. it was no big deal. usually it was just something to giggle about over the phone after a big night out, which would begin with "guess who's sleeping in my bed right now....NAKED?!?!?" and after the initial scandal wore off, nobody really gave a crap, and yeah, it kinda made us all the closer, i suppose...

i think it's all about comfort level. sex can be a fun kind of casual bonding activity if there's a comfort level and trust between the two people, and it's the kind of thing where you know when that comfort level is there, and more importantly, you know when that comfort and trust is NOT there with certain people. and it doesn't make those people bad or untrustworthy - it just means that in a sexual situation, you think it would get weird with certain people...and usually, instinct pays off.

and of course, there's the simple possibility that you just don't find the friend attractive, in which case that person just has to deal and get over it, and realize that just because you don't find them attractive doesn't mean someone else won't.

sex can mean a lot of things to a lot of people in a lot of different situations...if the context feels right and the person gives off a vibe you feel comfortable with, then hey - do whatcha gotta do. but if someone can't understand when that vibe's not there for you, it's not your obligation to knock yourself out explaining why it's not gonna happen. you aren't obligated to sleep with all your friends just because you slept with one or two. that's just silly.

Have sex with all your friends and they will leave you for shur Find someone outside your circle of friends.

I think how it turns out depends a lot on who'se involved, their maturity, what their expectations were going in to the deal. There's so many x factors involved with sleeping with you friends.

I've had sex or fooled aorund with a few of my friends. With a few, it made everything weird between us, but with most of them, nothing's changed.

Sorry but why did you tell them? I'm blonde, I know, but I would never tell my friends about that (and didn't btw), I think it's too personal to share.

CAn be bad can be good, I think often it's fine if you are sure of the situation before you get into that kind of thing. I have several friends who I slept with on nights out in the past and they are still great friends now. If you are sound in your feelings then the outcome is generally good.

jenet8701 said:

who said anything about women? i'm strictly dickly up in this bitch..and up in other bitches too. Okay, but for me, i see sex as something that i shared between two people who love each other. I mean, i love my friends and all, but i don't want to have sex with them(one i do), and to me, if you fuck with me, you stuck with me. basically. if we have sex, that means we're a couple. and if you're less than a boyfriend with me, that shit is not going to happen....and 2 people makes me a slut? geeyot dayum. so no more sex until i'm in a relationship. and that's word. NO SEX WITH FRIENDS...but if i'm drunk, and there's a penis around..hey, a party's a party..