I havent seen him in 4+ years. We havent really kept in touch. He is bringing his 'new' family along for the trip here, he emailed me today to tell me he wants to see his granddaughter for the 1st time.

Its a strange situation, I am not sure if I want to see him. Let him back in when its convienent to him.

What do you do in a situation like this

so why have you not seen him in 4 years ...

what happened 4 years ago ?

my first impression is ... he is "reaching out " ... greet him ... see if you cant repair some of whatever is hurt ...

but its always hard ... when you dont know the whole situation ... etc ...

do tell ...

I haven seen him because he live 2000 miles away, I try to make time to meet up with him but he is always to busy.

He has a wife and 2 children I have never met, and he has never gone out of his way to introduce to me. He has been in the area at other times and never thought to get a hold of me.

I was excited when i graduated because he said he was coming, and then I found out it was because it was his parents 50th wedding anniversary, it just happened to fall on the same weekend.

I have just been informed that the reason he is coming home is becuase its his class reunion, glad that takes top priority


rant over sorry

Still, you should grasp the oppourtunity, let him see what he is missing. Then he might come back next time, just for you.

PREDOMINANT said:

See I am not sure about that, I have tried over and ove again, and he treats me the same way, just a little leary no need to open a closed wound again ya know?

ella731 said:

Is it possible to be open and welcoming without exposing youself to dissapointment. Try to take it for what it is, or the worse case scenario. Then it should all be good.

agree with predom ... so i am not gonna add much more ...

as a father ... it breaks my heart to hear of your situation ... cannot imagine ...

it is so hard to imagine how ... somethin could become like this ...did he hate your mother ??? again ... hatred is such a strong word ... but ... i always think .. it has to apply ... in instances like this ... why else would a father not want to see his daughter? ... brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it ....

again .... i go back to what predom said ... be positive ... think of the worst possible scenario ... and then ... when that does not play out ... it wont be so much of a disapointment ....

I've had very similiar experiences my whole life and I'm really done dealing with my father. IMO, actions are speaking louder than anything he can say and I've decided to use him as a reference on how not to be a father. If his health starts to fail, I'm not sure that I'll give a shit and that just seems cold but after 35 years of being treated like he doesn't care, why should I?

Be strong and hang with other family, in my experience it helps.