This am I went to see my new therapist, who's a drug and alcohol therapist both for people who themselves are addicts and people like me who're co-addicts. It was the first session, just scraping at the surface, but I REALLY like this woman She said some stuff that made me think again and reevaluate other things, and it felt SO FUCKING GOOD to have somebody who's on your side and not trying to be objective. In this forum I can rant and rave, ask questions and answer those posed to me. It will hurt like hell but I will be sooooo much better off once I'm on the other side.

I am also now in a programme for people who grew up around abuse of different kinds, we're in Swedish referred to "grown up children", in the sense that we were parents to our parents and siblings and therefore were deprived of a childhood. The actual sessions are 10 times of 2,5 hours each week, and in between I'll go talk with the therapist once a week also.

As homework I am supposed to go to an Al-Anon meeting or more, to at least listen but also participate if I want.



I just wanted to share this with you since Supa's great thread became such a forum for us who were never children and those who suffered abuse once grown up also, and to say that there IS help out there, it took me some time to realise what I needed and I was fortunate enough to be able to get EXACTLY the help I want and need, but now I'm on my way for real. Away from the meaty sound of a human body getting beat on, the sight of my father in a drunken sleep on the toilet and my memory of hitting my mother unconscious. Away from those images and memories and a thousand more like them, once I get out on the other side my baggage will be so much lighter. Keep working towards something better people, it IS out there.
Much love to all,

Jen

I so wish you health, and peace of mind..

Good on you!!

Teacher said:

Best of luck to you. I can't imagine how your childhood was. I am so lucky to have had a fairly normal childhood with loving, responsible parents. Several years ago I wrote a letter to my parents thanking them for always being there for me and for being such good parents. They are not perfect, but they were and still are wonderful parents.

I sincerly hope your therapy sessions are successful. All the best to you.

teach

Good luck Teacher!

I'm so glad U're feeling better Teacher!
/peace Manki

Hey, congratulations on being strong and working on getting through it. Sounds lie you had it pretty bad.

so glad to hear
best of luck

pain and remembering pains ... stretch us to grow


you'll bloom into a beautiful rose

Thank you everybody, I feel really good about it. Of course this morning I had to put down one of my cats, Figaro, so now I feel really bad and missing him.

Teacher said:

I am really happy you have found something that will help and make you understand and deal with the shit you have been through honey..

Poor you and Figaro.. Are you ok?

Love you to bits xx

REDFEATHERS said:

Love you too honey, I am ok but the tears are close all the time.

And thanks for everything, for always being my friend. :F:

Never had addiction therapy (although I should for CDs and DVDs probably).

I've been there, bought/burned the t-shirt though.

Much success for you in this journey.

You learn things you never knew-and the sense of self awareness is a huge gift.

subhuman09 said:

Funny how that seems to work with the whole cyberspace deal

Excuse me, I have to go burn about 20 cd's now

good stuff teach,

I can't (don't want to) imagine a funless childhood

PREDOMINANT said:

Then imagine not having one... me and many others were adults at the age of 3 or 4 or 5 or... you get the picture I don't even remember ever thinking as a child, everything was risk and danger assessment.

Thanks for the hug dear

Teacher said:

I meant I can't as in, it's a horrible thought. I am glad you are benefitting from the current though.

PREDOMINANT said:

I know sweetie, I just meant that I didn't have a childhood period. I would have traded a funless childhood or any childhood for that matter, children seemed to have so much fun when I was little.

Jen, you have no idea how happy I am to hear this I truly feel that through our experiences we are able to help pull others though. That is such a blessing.

I love hearing you talk about being on the other side. It's a miracle once you are standing there. It can feel like trying to get to the moon. Impossible. But even the journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step. We cannot change the past, but we can use it to create our future

Teacher said:

I can relate to this... I started doing all the things I missed in my childhood when I was 23...

I did everything, I swang, I played in the sand, I laughed, I ran through a field with my arms wide open... I caught butterflies, I ran through water hoses..

Try it! It will set you free.

sag10 said:

THATS so awesome !!

i do that 2 w/my 2 yr old granddaughter

who says ya cant feel like a kid at 40 ??

I just wanted to say your post was an inspiration. I too grew up in similiar circumstances, with an alcoholic father and a mother whose philosophy it was to "just ignore it and accept that's 'how he is'". There was some degree of physical abuse (depends on a person's viewpoint, I think) though it was mostly emotional and mental. So I know difficult it is to get past that and shed all the baggage. I'm still struggling after all these years and in fact just began with a new therapist today, myself.

Well, didn't mean to go off about my own situation. Best of luck to you and congratulations on your new therapist. You sound like an awesomely strong person.

ps - I am sorry about Figaro.

it is always key when going into this undertaking to have the right help.

a therapist that you can relate to and trust makes your experience flow.

do not be afraid to voice your opinions and speak your mind.

hans unfortunately decided to defecate in a flower pot.

i was going to use it to plant roses, sadly.

SnowQueen said:

Thank you, and it's GOOD to talk about yourself, we come from the same circumstances Good luck to you with your new therapist, I hope you have the same luck that I had. If you want you can orgnote me as you make progress and I can do the same, just an idea

It's ok about Figaro, he was ok with going. He needed to sleep.