i had no idea throwing out a bed was so stinkin' complicated.

all i wanna do is get rid of my big ol' bed so i can rearrange my studio apartment and start using my sofabed as my new bed (i'm gonna throw a featherbed on top of the mattress and make it all comfy-cozy) and have all kinds of room...but it's like sending a man to the moon to get rid of a damn bed!!!

i can't just throw it out or else my landlord will get fined. we don't have any dumpsters that the landlord would care to point out to us. i tried contacting the city sanitation department and you'da thunk i was asking them if purple unicorns were trotting out of my butt! my landlord mumbled something about moving it on a weekend and it's gonna cost ten bucks to have someone pick up my bed or some shit, but he didn't seem to know what he was talking about, either.

who knew it was so hard to get rid of a stupid bed?!

You could try selling it, or just donate it to Goodwill or some other charity that takes in furniture.

MrJoker said:

i wouldn't wish that bed on anyone. to paraphrase ab fab, it's just one hot date away from growing a tail and wriggling off in search of an ovum.

how about a campfire?

Heavenly said:

BONFIRE!!!

Too bad you don't live in my old neighborhood, all I had to do was leave whatever old piece of funiture I didn't want outside and mysteriously it would disappear that same day.

Shit, I left a door and some old kitchen cabinets on the front lawn of my new place stufff vanished too!

magnificentsynthesizer667 said:

can i fed ex my bed to you and you can just leave it in your yard?

Anxiety said:

Errr....NO!!!! You might want to find a nuclear dump for that thing.

Besides, that would be the one time that shit wouldn't disappear, it would just sit there like a lawn ornament.

At the risk of sounding like an axe murderer...

Cut it up into small pieces and throw it out over time...

Revolution said:

i don't have an axe, all's i got is an X-acto knife.

magnificentsynthesizer667 said:

...at least you didn't say NUCULAR....

Anxiety said:

just be glad I didn't need to put the word weapon's after it.

Chainsaw, chainsaw, chainsaw!



That or VERY large food processor.

all's i know is, the damn bed is taking up a third of my apartment and my place will be 33% more awesome when i figure out how to get the freakin' thing out of my space.

What if someone "stole" it?

One morning you wake up you have no idea what happened to it but it just happens to have been gone?

Maybe it made it's way to a street corner up the road...or a landfill somewhere else.

To you though, it's been stolen and you're not sure it's worth it to try to get it back.

subhuman09 said:

or i could just drag it out to the middle of the street really early in the morning and pretend to wake up in it and have a panic attack because "oh my god, someone moved my bed into the street...WITH ME IN IT!!!"

and then when some kind soul offers to help move my bed back upstairs, i could feign tears and say "no...the bed is tainted now!" and stumble off dramatically, leaving everyone to deal with my bed out of pity.

i think this is the best plan so far.

Anxiety said:

...and the Oscar goes to...

subhuman09 said:

ooh, ooh! who is it?! i hope anxiety gets it this year, i can't believe how they snubbed him the last two years. he way deserved it for last year's "Moderators-The Untold Story". what a great movie! hey, pass the popcorn.

fantasyislander said:

I heard there's a buzz.

fantasyislander said:

i think i'm a shoo-in this year, after i took halle's advice and did the weepy sex scene with billy-bob thornton in "moderator's ball". if i win an oscar, do you think someone will come and take my bed out of my apartment? if so, i guess it was worth having to do the wheelbarrel with billy bob on film.

subhuman09 said:

great!! now we got popcorn, where's the beer?

Uh...something's wrong with althom:

Post it to an orger!!!!!

Sometimes a charitable organization will take it, or give it away through a newspaper ad.

althom said:

You are so BANNED

Anxiety said:

Laughing out loud at 4am when I have roommates DamnU

I actually don't know the correct answer but we had a water bed and our cat loved it too, so she made little holes in it with her nails. So we had to get rid of it because it began to smell bad, so we just rolled the matrass so tight we could and dumped it to our dumpster before we left to our summer holidays and there was no other rubbish on the bin, so it went there easily. Sometimes I wonder what the rubbish-man have thought when he has seen it