I have no real place I fit in.....I don't belong to any groups or hang with family or friends...I used too but even then I was never fully comfortable with it. I would end up wandering off to a dark corner or somewhere off alone. I decided to make my own group....my own spot and let people come in and hang with me instead of the other way around. That didn't work either unless they were outcasts like me...I have always been accepted into almost all social circles I never felt excluded, but I just don't enjoy being around it for some reason. I am extremely comfortable in my own skin and don't mind being with just me, myself and I....So last night I was thinking I really don't have a place to go....Just to the place I made for myself and Im the only one there. It's a bit difficult to explain so sorry if this does not make sense....

For me it's about respect.....If I don't respect you in some shape or form I don't want to be around you. Even then if when I do find friends I respect I can only tolerate being around them for only so long before I got to go or they got to go. Im still getting used to this attention I get now because of my looks...I have been ignored in that area for all my life and since I turned 25 I have started getting attention from women. On the org it's a big joke to me the attention I get...I can't take any of it seriously though flattering as it is I know my limits and have a realistic view of myself, and my confidence does not come from others so I don't buy the hype. But now that at work and other places im getting talked to and approached more it's a new and strange experience for me.

I feel bad for my poor cousin he tries to include me in family stuff (his side of the family) But I don't have time most of the time to go and if I do I just sit there.....So people of the org tell me....are you a alien outcast like me? Don't feel like you belong to the human race?

sinister said:

I understand where you're coming from more than you know

How we're not seperated at birth I don't know, sin.





(Same story for me too-almost eerie.)

I am an outcast (thank goodness)... and for whatever reason... it all fits and I am totally accepted/appreciated for who I am.

Do you want to have breakfast? Or... is it the latter in what you just said?

I wouldn't say that I'm an outcast, but I've had many people tell me that they've never met anyone quite like me (which I take as a compliment!)....ain't nothing like adding a little spice to life!

count me in too.

Great thread Sinister....

I put my faith and belief in myself and do not follow any social cliques. I never have for I am not a sheep to follow, I'm a leader and those that I choose to have in my life can join me on my ride. I won't waste my time on someone soley based on their social status etc... I look for quality & purity within.

I am mine.

PanthaGirl said:

...and there you have it

I think I'm a social incast.

But I also love my time alone.

Natisse said:

subby says:

Very cool you two. Now go check out that Metallica thread and share your thoughts.

i felt very alienated my first couple years in chicago, like my new york-programmed way of doing things were alien to people in the midwest, and i was speaking some other language or had wings growing out of my head or something. then eventually i gave up on being so conscious of how different everything was and just started doing my thing as if my behavior were the most natural thing in the world...once that state of mind became habit, it seemed like everything else fell into place, and i finally feel a lot more comfy living here now.

Anxiety said:

weirdo!

bkw said:

oh yeah? how's this for ostrasizing:

BANNED!!!

Anxiety said:

That is very cool Anx....wish you lived in Phoenix we could hangout!

Anxiety said:

i am unique. if people like the person i am then great...if not they can go fuck themselves. i don't search or actively go out to meet new friends...but i wouldn't really classify myself as an outcast. i'm selective...i have very few close friends but the ones i have are golden and have been there always. i think my newest cherished friend has only been around 7 or 8 years...the rest all 10+ years. i am social...sometimes i crave attention but i spend most of my time alone...i like the person i am and enjoy my own company.

take from that what you want...i don't want to be put in a box, a label...no classifications here!!

bkw said:

Man I wish we could hangout!

lillith said:

I just find my thinking alien compared to others but I know what you mean about sticking with friends....Unfortunately my old friends became assclowns over time so I decided to cut them loose....

assclowns....


i have been blessed with a very diverse, intelligent, beautiful/handsome and loyal group of friends...i choose well!!

I definitely don't fit in in my neighborhood. My god, I'm shunned by everyone on my block, outside of a friend about 6 houses down. I am the only one without a George Bush sign in the front yard. I think I live on the most CONSERVATIVE block on the face of the earth. It's like being plopped smackdab in the middle of the crowd at the Republican National Convention, every single day.

Outside of this block, I guess I'm not really an OUTCAST, but depending on my current level of self-esteem, I can be really shy and end up talking more to the floor than the person I'm talking to. I'm best with one-on-one conversations. But then again, I can sort of disappear if I'm with a big group of people. Then, at other times, people sort of put me on a stage and expect me to say something funny. I HATE that. Too much pressure.

I have a close group of LONG time friends. I've known them for a decade, or more. Once in a while someone new pops in my life, which is cool, I guess. I generally feel that people are too fucking "lemming-like." I'm pretty independent and I don't go out of my way to make people like me. It's cool if they DO like me, but only if they like me for me.

I dunno. You make the call. This topic is making me uncomfortable. Maybe I AM an outcast, and I just didn't know it. AAAAAHHH!!!

Luv & Peace,
Alex
Clubbin' in Mpls/A Night w. Prince
[Edited 9/30/04 22:38pm]

sinister said:

You just described me perfectly, man. All it needs is my signature at the end.
Whenever I'm in a group of people, I'm always in the corner, quiet. I like being alone, even though sometimes I get really bored. but I cannot find people that I really connect to.
There was only one person who I felt like I could spend eternity with, but she's not around anymore.

Every place I went, I got along fine with everyone. I fit wherever I am, because I change to fit my enviroment, but nowhere I feel at home.
Some day I'll find my home. Some day...

no, and yes.

Heavenly said:

I've felt the same way a lot recently and I think of it more and more of a choice to hang with people I respect. As human beings, artists, intelligence or whatever.

Keeping perspective and being positive so you can attract some new friends is really essential. It's too easy to fall into the mind frame of "poor me, I'm an outkast, I'm so fucking lonely" but the fact of the matter is that it's about self-respect and not settling to hang with people that suck. IMO, when you allow the possibility to meet people who don't suck and remembering that you are a good person who will find cool new friends, this is the key.

People can be so hateful and judgemental, I understand your point. Best to just remember that the cool people have unique views on the world. Remember, our guy P is the wierdest dude on the planet, and it works great for him. lol

Don't let the bad people rule ya. Self respect aint a metaphor.

this is an interesting one to ponderz...in many wayz..i am different i reckon and in many wayz i can feel i guess like a black sheep...kinda felt alot dat way as i was growing up...though at da same time i'm not an outcast as such...i'm a people person datz 4 surez, but i will admit 2 a certain insecurity i guess of being "forgotten" , or being "unheard" or not regarded as "the best and number one" ...itz totally human...da most outgoing, loud, outrageous peoplez can also have a whole lotta insecuritez i've observed! Itz just dat if uv felt down-trotten in past experiencez, ya feel it in a different way Well, at least datz my opinion

sinister said:

I get it.

You might like Party of One: A Loner's Manifesto:

Book Description
Isaac Newton. Michelangelo. Anne Rice. Barry Bonds. Haruki Murakami. They and countless others belong to a subculture that will never join hands, a group whose voices, by nature, will never form a chorus. They are loners—and they have at least one thing in common: They keep to themselves. And they like it that way.

Self-reliant, each loner swims alone through a social world—a world of teams, troops and groups—that scorns and misunderstands those who stand apart. Everywhere from newspapers to playgrounds, loners are accused of being crazy, cold, stuck-up, standoffish, selfish, sad, bad, secretive and lonely—and, of course, serial killers. Loners, however, know better than anyone how to entertain themselves—and how to contemplate and to create. They have a knack for imagination, concentration, inner discipline, and invention—a talent for not being bored.

Too often, loners buy into society’s messages and strive to change, making themselves miserable in the process by hiding their true nature—and hiding from it. In Party of One, Anneli Rufus delivers a long-overdue argument in praise of loners. Assembling evidence from diverse arenas of culture, Rufus recognizes loners as a vital force in world civilization rather than damaged goods who need to be "fixed." A compelling, morally urgent tour de force, Party of One rebuts the prevailing notion that aloneness is indistinguishable from loneliness, and that the only experiences that matter are shared ones.

althom said:

careful there, hester prynne - i'm cutting out your scarlet letter B as we speak.

.
[Edited 10/1/04 15:08pm]