my first thread here...

hello to everyone i haven't met yet and to those i have!
stop in and say hello (sin, i'm even getting used to these blasted things!)
and btw, that is my niece in my avatar - 10 months old!

10 THINGS TO DO IN A WALMART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.

4. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

5. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

6. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

7. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels

8. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!"

9. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."

.....and last but not least, (and my favorite...)

10. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here!"

avoid all the screaming kids!

i already do this.

Anxiety said:

I wish I worked at your local *ASDA*

"Ow! Can I help you sir!? ..... Can I push your trolley sir!?

.....Can you please not punch me so hard there, sir! "

hello senik, superspaceboy, and anxiety...
thanks for dropping in! a question though...

what is the "whoops" section?

personally the walmart greeter drives me around the bend!

emm said:

I think they are told to say that! I don't think they really mean it!

inmate 09 tells me he randomly approaches people and tells them hello.

he also asks how they've been. we're trying to keep him in isolation right now.

he's growing quite restless. OH GOD HE HAS A FOLDING CHAIR!

I posted this joke some months back in the day and it was funny

Can I help you?

lol@mission impossible. we did that at an airport once..

senik said:

Cheap Skate

emm said:

That's the section where slightly damaged or hard to sell goods are sold with a "whoops!" sticker on 'em ..... for cheap!

REDFEATHERS said:

Quite you! I'm still paying off student loans and my mail order bride

senik said:

your mail order bride?

senik said:

How did you get into college. when you clearly cannot spell?

REDFEATHERS said:

My first spelling blunder for ages

Were dough you get of on enbarasing me leek that in pubik!

AndGodCreatedMe said:

They're brilliant AGCM

Mine comes with remote control as well

senik said:

I just can't help it!

J0eyC0c0 said:

omg he works at my store

3mta3 said:

It's always the quiet ones.

senik said:

since you had heard that one already luv4u
borrowing some tried and true slogans...

Viagra, Whaazzzzz Up!

Viagra, The quicker! pecker upper.

Viagra, Like a rock!

Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

Viagra, Be all that you can be.

Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.

Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Viagra, Tastes great! More filling!

Viagra, We bring good things to life!

This is your penis.... This is your penis on drugs!

Happy Friday everyone!

2600 Magazine had an article a while back on how to hack their phone/intercom system and send the management into a state of panic. It's a good read if it ever resurfaces again, had me in tears...

emm said:

I'll admit...Wal-Mart is convenient and cheap....but I HATE going in there. It's almost like when the people here go there....they act like they're on a field trip and it's always crowded with people just messin' around not really shopping,but just takin' up space. Don't even get me started on the rednecks and country ass folks that hang out in the parking lot at night. I'd rather watch C-SPAN than hang out in the parking lot.

J0eyC0c0 said:

eww...that's just sick. Where do you keep finding these pics.?