hello friends.

hans and i wish it to give all of you the opportunity to find out more about life at the asylum.

our dedication never waivers in our endeavors, nor does it fall by the wayside.



please don't hesitate, we will do our best to be as forthcoming as possible.

What's the showers like?

althom said:

at times quite cold, other times absolutely breathtaking.

we have wide open space metal showers that allow for many of our 'guests" to bathe at once.

however, it is not advised to mention the occupants of the next corridor as they are disturbed.

the inmates seem to enjoy the shower set up, perhaps a bit too much at times.

hans and i have our own private bath area that we maintain is strictly business.

Are there activities available or scheduled for the "guests"?

where is your "asylum"? cuz i used to work at the "regional center" here in town, (they're not called asylums anymore) and it's nothing like the . . . interesting . . . things you mention. mostly we sat with the clients (not supposed to call them patients) and played cards or scrabble. occasionally we had to settle disputes, but it was usually quite tame.

oh, and you ARE subhuman09's alter ego, right?

applekisses said:

actually we do have plans for a guess that voice contest in the fall.

dodgeball usually ends in many tears, shrieks or loss of various bodily fluids.

group shock therapy seems to be popular, but we made a slight mistake.

never have pool time too closely to a session.

asylum said:

I think the first one sounds fun!

The others...well...

fantasyislander said:

the asylum is actually in a remote part of eastern europe, before the war.

we prefer to use older methods of treatment as they yield the best results.

we sit with our "guests" but it's quite brief as they tend to be caught up with themselves.

inmate 09 is actually a quite regarded patient at our asylum.

all of his transmissions to this org as you all refer to it are made from our facilities.

inmate 09 needs to get back on the prescribed dosage, it worries me greatly.

asylum said:

nah, i think his dosage is working out quite well. he's alot of fun to have around the org. tell him i said hello!

applekisses said:

the contest isn't exactly fair you know.

the schizophrenics always seem to win.

guessing themselves, how unfair.

fantasyislander said:

inmate 09 sends his love miss fantasyislander.

he seems to be taping hypochondriacs to the walls at the moment.

put him down! i told you, i will take away your computing time!

oh dear. i better go detach them.

asylum said:

yeah, you better take care of that. and don't let him near the superglue. lord only knows what he'd do with it!

asylum said:

I think they're just clever

fantasyislander said:

all is well as of the moment.

oh not again. he found the superglue. i really shouldn't let him walk by and read the screen.

must he superglue the patients into their straightjackets? is it not enough to be as it is?

he is simply too much to handle at times. even hans finds him scary.

oh lovely, he's licking the screen now. must you do that?

yes, that is good, go play with the comatose patients.

no, drawiing mustaches on them is not funny. no, not even the female ones.

asylum said:

licking the screen??

and who is this hans you speak of? is he your imaginary friend??

fantasyislander said:

no one is imaginary at the asylum-except in the minds of the patients.

yes, inmate 09 apparently is in a jovial mood.

hans is my associate. i have worked with him for many many years.

he is quite troublesome at times, but we have a wonderful working relationship.

no, hans i will not tell her you like to wear peanut butter to cocktail parties.

he is a past patient of the asylum i must not fail to mention.

asylum said:

yes but--licking the screen????

fantasyislander said:

he apparently is pleased with your avatar.

oh wait i'm sorry, that was hans. i get them mixed up at times.

asylum said:

ok, well, um. tell both of them good night for me. see ya 'round!!

fantasyislander said:

good night and pleasant dreams from the staff at the asylum and guests.

hans says licking the wallpaper puts him on cloud 9.

i fear his grasp of reality is wearing thin again.

co-ed rooms?

MNlivingCA said:

as a rule, the asylum has generally private quarters.

however in cases with co-dependents or schizophrenics we allow co-ed facilities.

however at the asylum you are never alone, unless you are isolated.

asylum said:

Even when I am isolated- I am never alone- my personalities keep me in good company!

MNlivingCA said:

as long as you are in good spirits, your alone time will be pleasant.

we were so hoping to have you as a guest.

asylum said:

Do you allow dogs? I am Elizabeth Taylor "bad" about my dog- he goes everywhere with me.... to eat, to bed, on dates, to the bar, in airplane, to europe, to mexico, NOT to hawaii- they didn't let him go here....
So I would look forward to committing myself.... as long as you promise it is a good time and I can bring the 4 1/2 pound mop!

I have many questions my first is if I keep having dreams of talking to a volleyball with a face painted on it and Im on a desert island while doing this does this mean Im going to win an Oscar? Or does this mean I wish to be Tom Hanks?

sinister said:

Or maybe you wish to make love to tom hanks while he feels his painted ball..... maybe?

MNlivingCA said:

we already have a guard dog, but as long as he is not mistaken for our actual mop.

hans is excited now. "i want de doggy! yes get de doggy!"

he will have a hard time sleeping tonight.

asylum said:

I am used to having that effect on men!

Herr Doctor...what is your full name and credentials?