A Jewish family in America decides it's time for the grandfather to go to a nursing home.
All the Jewish homes are taken so they decide to try a Christian one.
After a few weeks they visit him and ask him about the place.
he says "They're all treating me very nicely here"
The family all says "Great! we were afraid you wouldn't like it here"
he grandfather replies "Oh no, I love it here. Listen to this - There's a musician here that hasn't played the violin in 20 years and they all still call him Maestro here.
Also, there's a psychiatrist here that hasn't had patients in 25 years yet they still call him Doctor.
And me, I haven't had sex in 30 years, yet they call me a fucking Jew"

Um...that joke's skirting the line between innocent humor and anti-Christianity.

A guy sits down in a bar, and notices a beautiful woman sitting at another table. He asks the waiter to send her the best wine they have. The woman receives the bottle of wine, looks at the man and writes him a note.
The guy reads the note that says "For me to receive this bottle of wine you have to have a Mercedes in your garage, 1 million dollars in your bank account and 8 inches in your pants.

The guy sends her back a note that says "In my garage I have a Mercedes, a BMW, and a Jaguar, In my back account I have 20 Million, and even for a pretty woman like youself I'm not willing to cut off 2 inches. please bring back the wine"